Dream Come True

I sat in the cockpit staring at the dark ocean outside the window while thumbing the dolphin charm on the silver necklace my wife had given me. Four years had passed since she had given it to me. I was sitting by her side as the cancer in her body slowly killed her. My head was throbbing because of how bright the lights reflecting off of the polished white floor were. Maggie was sleeping; her small and fragile body was half of what it used to be. Her cheekbones were visible and her skin was blotchy. She used to be so beautiful, but at that moment she looked like someone that was living on the streets. She died two hours later, but not before taking off her necklace and handing it to me.

            “No matter where you go, or what you do, this will protect you, Bill. I’ll always be with you,” she said. Those were her last words. With Maggie gone, I had nothing to live for anymore. Every night after work I would go home and strip down to my boxers. I would sit on the couch with a bottle of scotch in one hand and a pistol in the other, contemplating whether or not I should drink myself to death, or put a bullet through my head. But each morning, there I was, headache pulsating through my veins as I drove to work. I wanted to die, but I couldn’t do it because I knew how ashamed Maggie would be if I had just given up.

A drop of blood from the gash on my forehead slid down over my eye, drawing me out of my thoughts. I reached up and wiped it away. I needed to get up and look around the ship. I stood up and began making my way towards the center of the disc shaped vessel until I stumbled upon Jimmy, my co-pilot. He was lying face first on the floor in a puddle of his own blood. I knelt down next to him and rested my hand on his back.

            “Jimmy. Jimmy, wake up,” I pleaded. A low groan rumbled from Jimmy’s chest as he tucked his arm under his torso and rolled onto his back. His face looked like hell, much like our surroundings. Paper, metal, food, and furniture littered the floor as if a tornado passed through. His face was cut open in multiple areas including a large gash beneath his left eye.

            “Jesus Christ, Bill. What the hell happened,” asked Jimmy?

            “Engine one blew out upon re-entry and we crashed in the ocean,” I replied. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Jimmy and I were tasked with transporting a small team of scientists from the year 2334 back in time so they could study the Earth before technology and pollution consumed it.

            “What year did we travel to?” He asked.

            I replied, “Before the birth of Christ, brother.” Bill hung his head, realizing that help wouldn’t be on its way, at least not for another six thousand years. We were going to die down here.

            “Where is everyone else,” queried Jimmy.

            “I’m not sure. I was making my way towards the back and you were the first person I found.” Bill pushed himself up into a seated position and scooted backwards until his backside was resting against a tipped over couch.

            “I’ll go look for them,” I said. I stood back up and made my way to the back of the ship. The outer ring of the vessel was made up of small bedrooms. There wasn’t a whole lot of space in them, which made nap time a claustrophobic experience. When I reached the back of the ship, I began looking inside each of the rooms, hoping that the Geeks survived the crash. Room by room I searched and I couldn’t find anything. After all of the rooms were cleared, I decided to go downstairs to see if they were in the laboratory. I marched down the steps, listening to the hum of the vibrating metal my footsteps brought to life.

I was about half way down the steps when the horrific scene caught my eye. The overhead lamps were hanging from the ceiling, some of them still flickering brief sparks of light. Shattered glass was spread out all over the floor, stools had been knocked over, and large machines were flipped upside down. The Geeks were all dead. From where I was standing I could see their crushed bodies and caved in heads. Those heavy machines caused the damage. I rested my back on the wall behind me and slid down to sit on the stairs. I dug my wife’s necklace out of my pocket. The metal felt cool in my hands as I began rubbing it. Seeing the scientists like this made me realize how serious this was. No luck would save me from this.

            “Holy shit,” cried Jimmy. “Oh my God!” He sat down on the step above me, placing his bloody face into his hands. He began to sob. I watched him for a moment before I erupted into a fit of laughter. Jimmy stopped sobbing and looked up at me with awe.

            “What the hell is wrong with you?” He asked.

            I ceased laughing long enough and replied, “The last four years of my life I wanted to die because I felt empty without my wife.” I stared down at Maggie’s necklace. “And here we are at the bottom of the ocean with no possible way to reach the surface, no chance in hell of getting rescued and about three months to live before we run out of oxygen and suffocate. We’ll be nothing but bones when we’re discovered. Now that I know how and when I’m going to perish, I want nothing more in the world than to be alive.” I continued laughing at my ironic fate, just wishing I had one last bottle of scotch.

No Zombies After Eight

I open my eyes and find myself lying face first on a sidewalk. It’s dark outside and the chilly January breeze forces my body into a shiver. I’m not too sure where I am or how I got here, but I’m scared. I look up into the night sky and notice all of the tall buildings towering above me. I’m in a downtown area, but what city? It could be downtown Denver considering that’s where I live, but I don’t see anything familiar so I cannot be too sure. I manage to stand up to get a better view of my eerie surrounding. How come there aren’t any streetlights on? All of these tall buildings are dark as well as if they were completely derelict.

Fear begins to trickle through my veins as I peer around the street. It’s completely empty. There aren’t any cars driving around nor are there any people stumbling home. The scariest thing is the silence. There isn’t a sound to be heard other than the slight hum of the breeze. Even at night, cities glow in the dark, have a spark of life, and the ambience is always present. How come this city doesn’t have that? Down the street, something catches my eye. From here it looks like a bump in the road, but maybe it’s an object or a person. I walk towards it, realizing as I near it that it is indeed another person. I think it’s a guy but I cannot really tell for sure considering my poor night vision.

“Hello?”

Nothing. I continue to walk towards this person who is lying on the ground the same way I was just moments ago. What the hell is going on? I’m not entirely sure what’s happening and to top it off, I can’t even remember what I was doing before I woke up on the street. Maybe I have amnesia. No, I know exactly who I am, who I’m married to, what I do for a living.  I am now ten feet from this person and I cannot tell if he is breathing or not. He’s just laying there, face first in the street.

 “Hey, wake up man.”

He stirs, shifting his head from his right cheek to his left so he could see who is talking to him. I can tell for sure that he is definitely male. I’m close enough to make out specific features. He’s wearing a brown suit that somehow got extremely dirty. His hair is cut into a high and tight, the same type of haircut I used to get. By first sight I would say this guy is at least two hundred pounds and it looks like he is a businessman. As I get a closer look I realize that the dirt on his suit is actually blood, and there is a lot of it.

“Dude are you alright?”

His stare meets mine and I become paralyzed. The man is very discolored and his eyes, oh my god his eyes are white and lifeless. It looks like he could be blind and I would normally believe that if this guy wasn’t making perfect eye contact with me. He can see, that much is for sure. He stands up and begins to snarl at me with razor sharp teeth.

“Holy shit!” I am a nerd. I play zombie games, watch zombie movies; hell I’ve even read zombie books. I’m educated enough on the subject to know that this guy is acting like a dead man who has come back to life, mostly because his arms are outstretched and trying to grasp me. It’s like he came straight from the movies and into my nightmares. Wait, that’s it. This is a nightmare; I’m asleep in my bed hidden within the safety of my house. All I have to do is pinch myself and I’ll wake up. I begin backing away from the man as I reach up with my right hand and pinch the skin underneath my left arm. I pinch it hard and it hurts like hell. Man that hurts! But how come I’m not waking up? This is a dream right? I mean it has to be. But I pinched myself and I didn’t wake up. I thought that’s what people do in order to shake themselves awake when they realize they’re dreaming.

The man takes his first few steps towards me, dragging the top of his feet on the concrete. His snarling is getting louder. My fear is becoming uncontrollable as my body begins to tremble. I begin to breath heavier as I continue to walk backwards. I finally break my gaze from this zombie/man and turn to run but as I do I realize that another one is right behind me, so close that he could grab me. I duck out of his reach and run back the way I had come from. I get a hundred yards down the street and round a corner where hundreds of zombies are lazily loitering. Apparently they have crazy nighthawk vision and senses because they all look at me simultaneously and immediately jump into the pursuit.

Instead of trying to run through them, I continue in the direction I was originally going until I find a small building with its front doors wide open. I run inside and shut the doors behind me. There doesn’t appear to be a lock on it so I just back up away from it, hoping my pursuers didn’t see where I went. As I did that I felt a hand on my shoulder and heard that same snarl that came out of the first man I came across. I reach up and violently push the hand off of me. I turn to face my attacker and trip over a fallen chair in the process. The undead woman falls on top of me, making chomping attempts at my throat. Instinctively my hands shoot up and push her face out of my way. As I do that I use my legs to force her off of me.

I continue to scoot backwards on my ass away from her as she crawls towards me on her hands and knees. I have to stop this chick because she will be relentless in her attempts to eat me. I stand up and pick up the nearest chair. I lift it above my head and bring it down on top of hers. This momentarily incapacitates her, giving me enough time to raise the chair again for another blow. I do this four more times before one of the legs on the chair breaks off. The woman isn’t moving anymore, but because I am a zombie fanatic I know I have to make sure she is really dead. I pick up the broken chair leg and use the sharp end to repeatedly stab the zombie in its head.

After I was sure it was completed I peer out the window and to my relief there isn’t anything waiting for me. I sit down in a booth and realize that I’m in a diner. My heart is racing. I’ve never felt fear like this in my life. That’s when I realize that I urinated all over myself. My body is still shaking and I begin to cry. I only get two sobs in before the window next to the booth smashes in and a lifeless hand wraps itself across my throat.

My eyes open, for real this time. I’m at home in my bed, covered in sweat and panting like I just finished a marathon. Daylight is streaming through the curtains and the sound of cartoons is coming from the television in the loft. I’m still petrified for a brief moment as I realize that I am safe. My first order of business is to make sure that I didn’t pee the bed. All dry, thank God. I thought I learned my lesson last time damnit. No more. I can’t play anymore freaking zombie video games after eight.

The Best Games of 2012

Today marks the beginning of a new year. It’s that time of year where people make silly resolutions that they will never follow through with. I’m going to quit smoking, stop eating, read more, write a book, and bang a model, whatever. My resolution this year was going to be not having a resolution, but the whole principle of the thing contradicts itself so I decided to not even bother with calling it a resolution. To me, the New Year means a fresh new slate of games are on their way and I cannot wait to play all of them. But before I move on to the new, I’d like to recognize the best games of the year that just passed. Here are my top ten games of 2012. 

Number 10: Rock Band Blitz

I approached Rock Band Blitz with much skepticism because it didn’t involve me strumming a plastic guitar or screaming sexy lyrics into a microphone. No, instead I found myself jamming out to my favorite hits using nothing but a controller. Unlike other Rock Band games that require you to be properly skilled to hit enough of the notes in order to complete the song, Blitz only requires that you aim for the highest score possible. There are five instruments, including vocals, lined up and it is my job to switch back and forth between them in order to connect with power ups that can help me boost my final score. The game offers a fresh perspective on rhythm games and the hours are endless because Rock Band Blitz comes with a plethora of songs.  You can also play songs from previous Rock Band games and that is to include downloadable content. 

Number 9: Deadlight

Side scrollers, puzzles, guns, and freaking zombies. Deadlight offers a fresh new zombie experience in the form of a side-scrolling apocalypse set in a 1986 Seattle. The gamer plays as Randall Wayne, a small town Sherriff searching for his wife and daughter. The melancholy city matches the dreary plot, which is full of many satisfying twists and turns. Four hours of intense gameplay that is more focused on running away from the Shadows rather than killing all of them. That isn’t to say that there isn’t any fun melee combat or gunplay. At times you get to slather the world with zombie brains, but playing smart and focusing on your limited resources will go a long way. Many of the ways to escape from the shadows involve short and challenging puzzles that keep the game interesting between the intense moments where Randall is running a way from a helicopter or hordes of Shadows. If you haven’t picked up Deadlight yet, go do so now.

Number 8: Alan Wake: American Nightmare

Oh yes, Alan Wake made his second appearance in 2012 and it was in the form of a television show he wrote for “Night Springs.” The show itself has a familiar Twilight Zone feel to it. Alan is portrayed as the main character of this show and he stuck in a world controlled by his copycat, Mr. Scratch. Mr. Scratch is exactly what Alan Wake would be like if alcoholic serial killers raised him. Alan is trying to defeat Mr. Scratch so he can be reunited with his old life, but in a Groundhog Day fashion, Alan continually relives the same experience because he is unable to complete the right actions to defeat his evil doppelganger. The game is mildly repetitive due to replaying each of the three sections three different times, but each experience is unique in it’s own way, getting darker and scarier each time. The game also offers a survival mode that brings the terrifying combat into a much hectic scenario that it literally made me jump on multiple occasions. Alan Wake: American Nightmare was one of my favorite titles of the year, but I would only recommend it to fans of the series, or else you won’t really understand the real story.

Number 7: Lollipop Chainsaw

Lollipop chainsaw is probably the dumbest game I’ve every played, but it is the stupidity of this game that makes it so much fun. Playing as Juliet, a high school cheerleader with zombie hunting lineage, is the first hint of how crazy this game is. An evil Goth child named Swan releases five zombie demons that plague Juliet’s city with zombies. Her boyfriend, Nick, gets bitten at the beginning of the game, but Juliet manages to save just his head after she performs a magical ritual. Hacking and slashing with Juliet’s pom pom bashes and chainsaw attacks is how this game is played. It starts off very slow, but as you unlock new combos and attacks, the game become much more fun to run through. Juliet can even use Nick attacks which have her throwing her boyfriends head around, which is a very normal way to bash zombies to death. The game is ultimately a score attack that can be played over and over so you can compete with your friends. Don’t expect much of a satisfying story, but do expect the most exciting boss fights ever and tons of replayability.  Just imagine a giant, fat, zombified Elvis, oh yeah baby.

Number 6: Assassins Creed III

Assassins Creed III is the fifth installment in the series and quite honestly it wasn’t nearly the best. That is not to say that it isn’t one of the year’s top video games. Although the story was lackluster and the new Assassin was unimpressionable, the unique new gameplay and style managed to saved it. Climbing around on trees and a new combat system were a couple of new things added into the game and it made it a much better experience. The best part of the game is the Revolutionary War setting in colonial America. Getting to walk the streets of Boston and New York were very fulfilling as well as being able to be a part of the historical acts that lead towards the start of the war. Watching the Boston Massacre and dumping tea overboard during the Boston Tea Party are very memorable experiences. Also, the Frontier was developed to perfection and is the best experience for those who like to go on an adventure. The attention to detail is impeccable. Finally, naval combat is a new feature to the Assassins Creed realm and it is by far the best feature this game has to offer. The controls felt simple and smooth and it brought much satisfaction when it came to sinking enemy ships. If you can get past the lacking story and forgettable characters, you’ll find yourself loving this game just as much as I did.

Number 5: The Walking Dead

I haven’t even finished this game yet and it made it this far on my list. The style of the game is set up so it feels like a movie (or television show). The voice acting is absolutely fantastic and living through a zombie apocalypse from the very beginning is very unique. Playing as Lee, a man convicted of murder, you escape the clutches of death and stumble upon an eight-year-old girl, Clementine, who is all by herself. The game is very emotional at times and very suspenseful at other times. The best part about it is that the choices you make in the game effect the outcome of the story, thus far anyway. It reminds me a lot of Indigo Prophecy (or Fahrenheit if you’re from Canada) in the way that you have to make tough choices. Should you save a strapping young man who can be a valuable asset to fight off the Walkers, or should you save a young eight-year-old boy who is as innocent as they come? It’s a tough choice to make and there will be consequences, but it’s this type of moral dilemma that the game will throw at you and it’s an experience that everyone should try out.

Number 4: Max Payne 3

Oh how I have missed my favorite train wreck. Max Payne epitomizes the broken man who has nothing to live for. It’s been a long time since Max has graced our consoles with his presence and I’m super stoked that he is back. Max is now an alcoholic whose new role in life is to play bodyguard to a rich family in Sao Palo, Brazil. Of course it wouldn’t be a proper Max Payne story if everything was chocolate and rainbows right? From the very get go everything goes to hell in Max’s world and he finds himself chasing down a group of thugs in order to save a dame. Same story different game is what you might be thinking, but the story is very well written and keeps you on the edge of your seat the entire time. The combat is non stop and intense. Bullet time makes an epic return and it doesn’t end there. You can trigger bullet time whenever you want, but a new feature in Max Payne 3 makes it so when you kill the last enemy in a certain location, you can watch a violent kill cam. Not only can you watch it, but you can also continue to squeeze the trigger, peppering this last enemy into hamburger meat. The third installment also features a multiplayer mode, which is the first time in the series. I thought it was going to be a flop, but it was very engaging and fun. It doesn’t matter if you played the first two games (which were both epic), you need to check out Max Payne 3, it’s a keeper.

Number 3: Halo 4

People who know me probably thought this game was going to be my number one of the year. I was skeptical about playing another Halo game at first considering the two games before it were major flops (in my eyes). Heck, a different company developed the game, how great can it be? It’s near perfect for a Halo game, and that is hard to do. The campaign is golden because of the magnificent story. Cortana and Master Chief are more involved and make themselves likeable, believable, hell they’re lovable. They’re the dynamic duo that has given us many years of fun and Halo 4 really makes you care for them on a level that you didn’t know was possible. The Prometheans, a new enemy to the series, changes what die-hard Halo fans consider to be normal combat, but it’s not a bad thing. It’s a refreshing new take on the game that is executed perfectly. The battles you go through are intense and fun. I dare to say that Halo 4 is one of the best shooters of the year campaign wise. The multiplayer makes a return and it’s a very special treat to have. I actually enjoy playing it again compared to Halo Reach, however I have never really adapted fully to any Halo multiplayer that isn’t Halo 2. However Halo 4’s has taken in new features that were probably drawn from popular modern shooters such as Call of Duty and utilized them in an enjoyable way. You can sprint whenever you want now and you can even make unique loadouts specific to your likes and needs. On top of what this game already has to offer, there is Spartan Ops, an episodic series that continues the Halo story through the eyes of the UNSC Infinity and it’s Spartan IV’s.

Number 2: Borderlands 2

This game is unbelievably fun. Following up a very thrilling game in Borderlands, this second game takes us a bit further into the mysteries of Pandora. We get to play as four different vault hunters in this new story arc that has us fighting an extreme up hill battle against the evil Handsome Jack. He is the most evil bastard I’ve ever played against in any video game but at the same time he made me laugh my ass off with his demented dialogue. Borderlands 2 offers a gazillion more guns than the first game did and a much larger area to explore. The characters you get to meet in this new journey are truly what define how well this game was put together. There is a main plot that you can go through, but the rewarding side missions have you doing work for the characters from the first game as well as new quirky characters such as Tiny Tina who emits a loveable strangeness. Exploring Pandora and killing scores of enemies is rewarding and it is made so much better to go at it with friends. Please play this game if you haven’t already; it’s topping many people’s game of the year lists.

Number 1: Mass Effect 3

Mass Effect 3 has set the standard for how an epic space role playing game should be. You get to continue your story as Commander Sheppard on the most epic scale against the biggest threat to the galaxy, the Reapers. The opening sequence of the game has Sheppard and the rest of Earth running for their lives as the Reapers bare down on them, destroying everything in their path. Sheppard now has to unify the universe and get them prepared for an epic battle for survival. He meets many struggles along the way but it is what helps mold this game into the best experience I’ve had all year. The dialogue is touching and the story has even brought a tear to my eye quite a few times. I know people are going to read this and think, “what about that shit hole of an ending?” Well all I can say to that is I won’t penalize such a great game because of how the last ten minutes played out. Hell, Bioware even mended their mistake because of the backlash of the fans. If this game weren’t as great as it is, then we wouldn’t have seen such a reaction out of the people who love it. If you haven’t played this game, disregard all of the negative attention it has garnered. Play it for yourself and see why it is so great.

So there you have it, my top ten. Please realize that I based my choices off of games that I have actually played this year. I’m sure Dishonored, Sleeping Dogs, and Far Cry 3 are great games, and I just have yet to test those waters out. Tell me your thoughts on the best games of 2012. Oh, and stay the hell away from resolutions, they’re pointless.

Memoirs of an Achievement Whore

The mission is to stay alive. Who the hell cares what the objectives are in this campaign as long as I stay alive the entire time. I’m by myself right now and there are tanks roaming around trying to make me their bitch. What do I do? Is that a helicopter? Holy crap, hiding behind this building has become useless as the chopper rains bullets into my face. I crawl inside the building where three guys open fire on me.  I die. The “f” word makes it way out of my mouth in rapid succession causing my wife to shake her head, obviously vexed by my tirade. Maybe if she was a deranged, achievement obsessed junkie, like me, she would understand how important this fifteen point achievement is. If I want those fifteen points deposited into my gamer score I have to complete a mission without dying once. So I back out of the game and restart the mission from scratch. Twenty minutes later I find myself in the same exact situation. Two tanks roam around a small village in search for me while ground troops search the buildings. I don’t have heavy duty weapons that are powerful enough to quickly dispatch two heavily armored tanks that are surrounded by cannon fodder. Then, as I realized I forgot, a helicopter comes into view.  I have a precious few moments to dive inside a building before its chain gun peppers my characters body with lead. Inside the building, the same building as last time, I get attacked by three dudes. I was better prepared for them this time though and managed to swiftly take all of them down with controlled bursts from my weapon. From there I creep out the other side of the building where a tank welcomes me with a giant shell to my face. I instantly die. More “f” bombs, more eye rolling from the wife. I rinse and repeat this method many more times and each time I get a little farther just before meeting my demise. I quit playing the game, put it back into the Gamefly case, and send it on its way.

You might be reading this thinking that I hated the game, Battlefield Bad Company. But the truth is, I actually loved it.  The quirky dialogue and action packed gun fights were really fun. I blamed the achievements for why I never finished the game and why thinking about playing it again makes me cringe. But as the years have passed, I realized that it was my stupid obsession with achievements that ruined this game for me. It was because of this game and the way I reacted to it that I ended my subscription to Gamefly, which in turn ended my endless quest for the largest gamer score on the planet. I’m not too sure why I wanted that. Perhaps I was over compensating for a small penis by making my proverbial cock much larger than everyone’s, but my penis is very large so that wasn’t it. No matter what my reasons were, I am glad I’ve had the opportunity to experience a breaking point in my quest for achievements. This whole experience made me realize that I have allowed achievements to ruin gaming for me.  It made me think of Halo 3 and how I wanted to get every achievement out of the way so I could FINALLY enjoy the game.  I didn’t think about it at the time, but it was a horrible way to perceive the games I was playing. Achievements were controlling the way I played and the way I felt about games.  Fortunately, I’ve changed my view on the situation and came to the conclusion that I could still be an achievement hunter as well as a video game enthusiast. I play video games so I can experience fantastic stories and fun game play sequences. Achievements arrived on the scene much, much later and overall I think they’ve helped fuel the gaming economy. On that same note, I feel that they have harmed the gaming community despite its harmless intentions.

First you have to ask yourself why achievements are important or helpful to video games (other consoles have their own versions, such as PlayStation’s trophies). The answer is opinion based. In my opinion, achievements have given completionists something more to work towards.  Have you ever found yourself playing a game like Grand Theft Auto and even though you’ve completed the campaign, you were only 60% finished with the game? Some people may have played their asses off to finish that last 40 percent and others just moved on. With the addition of achievements, developers can offer a reward for completing 100% of their game, like Rockstar did with Grand Theft Auto IV. I was one of those people who wouldn’t have completed the entire game, but with incentive to add points to my overall gamer score, hell yes I’m in! I’ve explored parts of that game that I never would have if it weren’t for that one achievement. I met all of the random characters in the game which were just ghosts to me on my first play through. I drove vehicles off of ramps that I never knew existed and I climbed rooftops that I didn’t know where climbable. I explored everything that Rockstar poured their hearts and souls into and it gave me a much larger appreciation for their hard work and dedication. I’ve found that a lot of games use achievements to get gamers to explore their fantasy worlds deeper than just the campaign and to me that is a very useful tool.

I also think achievements are important because they provide a status bar, or a completion bar for people to keep track of their history.  Some people don’t consider the game to be finished until they’ve completed all of the achievements (I’m guilty of this). It’s a tool they can use to compare to their friends for bragging rights.  For me, I like to boast about my accomplishments with video game achievements. I’m currently nearing one hundred thousand as an overall score and to date, I’ve gotten every single Assassin’s Creed achievement and over 90% of all Halo achievements. Not many people can say that, so booyah. But being able to look back on your accomplishments provides a better feeling than just saying, “Yeah, I’ve played that game.” Now, you can show people, or they can look for themselves.

As achievements in video games have grown over the years, so have the negatives impacts they have on gaming. Take downloadable content for example. Back in the day (can a 27 year old man say that phrase yet?) I remember DLC being a little bit of love served from the developer to the gamer to keep the fun rolling. They were like smaller versions of expansion packs that PC gamers would see with their games. Halo 2 is a huge game that was continually supported by Bungie and they didn’t have the plague of achievements to assist in their sales. If the game did very well and a lot of people were playing it, then it was easier for a company to add on more content. I only saw this practice in great games (although I’m sure other companies dipped their feet into the water a little bit), but once achievements were added into the mix, the rise of DLC amongst any game has risen! Especially since Microsoft forces companies to charge for DLC if they want to add achievements into it. Hence you see free DLC such as the survival add on from the original Left 4 Dead come out with zero achievements, but you see crappy DLC released from Bulletstorm selling for ten dollars only because they have achievements. Die hard achievement hunters like myself have been purchasing this stuff for the wrong reasons. In order to keep a game 100%, you have to purchase new achievements, no matter how crappy the content may be, and that is exactly what it has become. A lot of gamers will purchase DLC if it has achievements and only for that reason. Fortunately, companies that are making good games are also making good content later. Skyrim and Grand Theft Auto come to mind when I think about downloadable content that was worth my money and that I purchased (not Skyrim, yet) so I could play it for fun, not for achievements.

So what is this whole rant about? Well it's a story to share with you how I overcame bad gaming habits. I no longer play games just for achievements. I don’t use Gamefly anymore because it was aiding my addiction. Now, I play games because I want to get a great story and great game play while revealing that story. I still hunt down those achievements that I want, but I have boundaries now. I will play new games all the way through without worrying about the achievements. This strategy has worked out very well for me because I am able to appreciate the game for what it is and what it is meant to be. Achievements have become an afterthought rather than a forethought.  I no longer purchase full priced DLC unless I really want to play it for story purposes or because I really like the multiplayer (Gears of War and Halo). I wait for all other DLC to go on sale because I am most likely only buying them for achievements (Bulletstorm and Assassin’s Creed). Finally, I’ve learned that hunting for achievements is a good hobby to have, as long as I don’t forget about why I play games in the first place. Appreciate the art first, then go screw around. I am really hoping that one day I can find the courage to play Bad Company again, heck I’d enjoy not cringing every time I think about playing it.  Stay tuned for my next chat on achievements because I’ll be talking about good achievements that are fun to hunt, and bad achievements that spawn suicidal thoughts while hunting them.

My Heart Is Heavy

-->

Yesterday and today have been very hard on me emotionally.  I know they’ve been hard on people all across this country including those who were directly affected by the terrible tragedy in Newtown Connecticut.  I keep asking myself why any person would consciously walk into an elementary school with the intent on killing helpless, innocent children.  I never have an answer.  I see evil in this world and cannot help myself from thinking that this sick individual got some sort of sick joy out of seeing the terror in those little faces.  As a parent I cannot help but to put my little babies in this situation.  We think about what we would have done or how we would react if it were us, but most of us will never truly understand. Thankfully it wasn’t us, but twenty-seven families are feeling insurmountable pain right now as I type this and it is very heavy on my heart.

The fact that the majority of the victims in this tragedy were ages six and seven is what truly tears me up.  Adults have established lives and are more capable of protecting themselves, but children are weaker and smaller and rely on us adults to keep them safe.  Thoughts of these kids thinking about where their moms and dads were and wondering if they were going to keep them safe invades my head and it brings me to tears.  These lives were so young and innocent and it just isn’t fair that their journeys were cut so short.  I would gladly give my life if it meant that these kids could return home to the safety of their homes where their parents will boldly protect them.

This morning I woke up and wondered how awful it must have been to wake up and prep your kids for school, make their lunch, give them a kiss, and send them off on their way.  Never once knowing that it would be the last time you would see them alive.  Then I wondered what the fear felt like to have received a phone call with a notification that a shooting has occurred and that it was at your child’s school.  Rushing over to the school to see if they’re okay, being ushered to the fire station to pick your child up.  Waiting and waiting as other parents come and collect their kids and watching them leave together.  Wondering.  Worrying.  Then finally receiving the bad news that no more children were available to collect, and although they have yet to identify the deceased, the fact that you have not yet been reunited is proof enough.  That feeling of shock probably takes over and maybe as a parent you blame yourself for not being there.  But it wasn’t your fault; there was nothing you could do.  A school is a safe place where young minds are molded into artists and thinkers, and future educators.  Why shouldn’t they be safe there?

There isn’t much about this that I have been able to find comfort in, but one thing really seeps into my brain is the fact that these people are walking in heaven and looking down on us.  They are not in pain, they are not in fear, and they are in peace.  They are not suffering, but we are.  We are stuck here, and as a nation we must endure.  It’s not fair that this happened and I will never pretend to understand how the families are feeling and all I can hope is that they find peace.  They may never be able to get over this, but I pray to God that they can get through it.  Hug your kids, hug your spouse, hug the people you care about, because we live in a very ugly world and it never hurts to show the people you love, how much you love them.  I know I will.

Sequel This

I was just sitting around today thinking about the recent video games I have been playing and which ones I have sitting on the shelf waiting to be played and I couldn’t help but realize that almost everything is a sequel.  I recently played Borderlands 2, Assassin’s Creed III, and Halo 4.  Some of the games that I have waiting are Forza Horizon, Elder Scrolls: Oblivion, and Fallout 3.  Dishonored is the only game sitting on my shelf that is the first of its kind.  What happened to all of the brand new IP’s?  They are so rare now a day.  Why is it that we are continually playing the same titles over and over while fresh new ideas aren’t even put into the market?  I mean look at the upcoming releases that are making news.  Splinter Cell: Blacklist, Tomb Raider, Gears of War: Judgment, Sim City, and Bioshock: Infinite.  All these games are sequels or are being remade.  These were some of the titles that had the biggest headlines at this year’s E3.  Sure we did get to see some new stuff with games like Watchdogs and ZombieU, but it’s nothing compared to what it use t be.  I remember how excited I was to play Assassin’s Creed, Mass Effect, and Bioshock when their first installments were announced.  They all released around the same time too!  A few nights ago a buddy of mine and I were talking about this and I think I may have the answer as to why we see the same games being made over and over.

It all starts with the price of video games. Sixty dollars is actually a whole lot to ask consumers to pay for a brand new game and with an economy in bad shape like ours, many people don’t have the money to pay for them.  It took me about a year to save up enough money to buy Halo 4, Assassin’s Creed III, and Borderlands 2 on their release days, but not everyone has that luxury.  With that in mind it’s easy to see how developers of very popular franchises, such as Call of Duty, continually put out games with the same title because they know that fans will buy them.  Likewise, fans of the series will already know what they’re getting into.  Wouldn’t that make things a little scary for unestablished developers, who don’t have popular franchises, to put a fresh new idea into the market?  They probably shy away at the idea of making AAA titles because of how much money they could potentially lose. And if they do try to release a fresh new IP, they have to compete in a market dominated by titles that have already established great names.  This has to be the answer because I refuse to believe that people have run out of good ideas for games. 

Take a look at 38 Studios as a prime example of what I just said.  As a brand new company founded by baseball great, Curt Schilling, they only released one game, Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning.  The game didn’t really fare too well, getting very mixed reviews and not selling as well as it should have.  They did see moderate success, but not the kind a well-known AAA title would have.  In the end, the company was shut down due to the inability to pay on its 75 million dollar loan from the state of Rhode Island while also not being to pay its employees.  Some people may think that the company was in over their head, but the truth is that they were trying to put a huge RPG on the map while dozens of well-known RPG’s controlled the market.  I think that if 38 Studios started small and made a name for themselves, they would have survived a lot longer in the industry, but the fact of the matter is that they shouldn’t have to.  A lot of pretty good developers and designers worked on the company’s only game while being comfortably funded. Yet Kingdoms of Amalur still failed.

So what do we get now?  Will all new IP’s just wither away and die over the course of the next few years?  No, but that’s because the fresh new ideas are being developed for Arcade releases. Why?  It’s because they cost much less than a full packaged game and they can easily be downloaded onto consoles and computers.  The only problem is that they lack the length and depth of a AAA game.  That’s not to say that arcade games are weak, many of them just lack the ingredient that can formulate a great story with extremely fun game play.  They are catching up though.  I’ve seen more creative ideas spawn in this realm in the past few years and it’s even better in the indie game realm where passionate new developers can create super low budget games without the fear of going bankrupt.  I feel that if the developers have less worry about having a job and more concern for their work, we will see a rise in new companies and new ideas. But as long as brand new games are being sold for sixty dollars, it will be extremely rare to find great new IP’s.  As gamers we look at these new ideas that have never been played by the public before and we are cautious. We don’t necessarily want to spend our hard earned money on a game that may or may not be good.  We take the risk of purchasing something that could potentially be a total flop and if it is, we cannot get our money back.  Heck all we can really do is hope some idiot on eBay will pay full price for it, otherwise you’ll get half back what you paid for the game with in store credit at your local Gamestop.  So what do we do instead?  We wait until the game is stupid cheap and we buy it.  Or we rent it from the Redbox or Gamefly.  If we rent the game and like it enough we will potentially fork over the cash for it, but if we don’t like it, we’ll forget about forever.  By the time we come around to buying it, the developer has already lost money.

So what do we need to do?  Well first off, we need to get rid of the fear on both fronts. Gamers should not be worried about purchasing a game with fear that it might suck, which leaves them feeling that their money could have been better used as toilet paper to wipe their asses with.  Developers should not have to be fearful of creating a new idea and going bankrupt because it didn’t work out. Failing is a part of succeeding.  Plain and simple, games need to be cheaper.  If not, we may never see another rise in new ideas and that is shameful.  It’s not like it’s an impossible endeavor to lower the price of games.  With new technology we are seeing improved game engines, such as the Unreal Engine 4, that will make it so games can be produced faster.  Games can go to strictly download only.   I love owning a copy of my game on disc because I love the cover art and stuff, but if games went to download only, I would be okay with it if it meant having a less expensive hobby.  I’m already accustom to purchasing my books on an ereader rather than buying a hardcopy at the store so I am sure I can adapt.  The developers could maybe spend less money on marketing their games?  I know that sounds crazy, but companies spend boat loads of money marketing their games and that sixty bucks that millions of people fork over are helping pay for it. 

I’m not recommending that games drop down to the price of DVD’s, but helping make it so people aren’t afraid to create and aren’t afraid to purchase would be nice.  Hell, if it doesn’t happen, I don’t mind using all my video game spending to be on arcade and indie titles, at least with that option I’ll have new ideas to explore while still having the option to participate in Halo 47.

Damn This Violence

I’m not really understanding the violence that is going on in Denver lately.  Just last week some jackass walked into Target and shot into the ceiling because he apparently wanted to score some drugs from the pharmacy. Fortunately no one was hurt but it could have been bad.  It happened on Black Friday from what I’ve read.  But this is just the latest act of crime in the past year that has been making me want to leave Denver.  I love this city and I honestly feel like it’s the best place to be in the whole world.  But I have to ask myself if it’s the right place to raise my kids and I really don’t think it is.  I’m not saying that smaller cities are any safer, okay I am saying that but it’s because they have smaller populations.  Smaller populations mean less crazies which means less chance of random violence. Some of the big ones that scare me are the kidnappings.  Just recently that moron kidnapped and murdered a ten year old girl.  The psycho dismembered her and it turns out that this freak is only 17 years old!  He was taking CSI courses and was acknowledged for being pretty good at it.  This happened close to where my sister lives.  Sure, this freak is off the streets, but there are more out there like him and that’s what scares me.

The biggest one that scares me is the movie theater shooting down the street from my house.  It scares me on multiple levels. At one point I’m feeling blessed that I wasn’t at that movie theater that night.  Just two days before it happened I was online looking up tickets to go.  I was supposed to go with my buddy Tom.  After I brought the tickets up and was ready to pay for them through Flixster, I decided to text Tom and ask him if he was still going.  I’d get the tickets and he could get the popcorn and soda.  Turns out he was stuck out of town and couldn’t make it.  Which was actually fine with me because that theater is the shittiest place ever and we both would have preferred going to the Movie Tavern.  That place is cool because it’s a restaurant and movie theater at the same time.  Instead of popcorn, Tom could pay back his ticket in beer.  The biggest thing that scares me about it, though, is the fact that all of these people went to a movie as dedicated Batman fans and were unjustly injured or killed.  How unfair is that?  The movies aren’t even a safe place anymore.

We did wind up going to see the movie the following night, but it was strange.  There were cops all over the place and the entire atmosphere felt wrong.  That was the last movie I saw in the theater until just recently my wife and I went and saw Lincoln.  I’m not saying I won’t go to a theater to watch a movie, I’m just scared of being in crowded places where I’m vulnerable. These crazies will take advantage of that and it’s what make them so powerful. It sucks that we have to feel like that in such a great country.  I don’t remember life being so scary when I was a kid and now I’m practically terrified.  I’m not afraid of dying, but I’m afraid of leaving my family behind to grow up without their father or her husband.  Life is so valuable and I want to be around for it.  Even more so, I’m afraid for my kids.  I don’t want my daughter going to the movies with this type of threat out there.  I won’t let them walk to school, ever.  I will be that parent who watches his kids like a hawk in order to protect them.  That’s just the way society has made me feel. I just want my kids to grow up with a normal life away from drugs and away from violence. Seriously, let’s just all get a long and love each other, you bunch of fuck tards. 

Random Stuff

So I know that it has been a little while since I’ve actually taken the time to sit down and write out a blog, other than my short story that is.  I’ve been really tied up with school and other busy stuff that makes up my life. My wife and I had some house guests and they took up a lot of our time…and space haha.  Having them live here wasn’t too bad I guess, but after a while I found myself getting terribly vexed at the sight of them. It was mostly her brother I suppose.  He’s a great guy and I won’t bash him, but I was mostly annoyed because he doesn’t have any real aspirations in life and never really made a valiant effort to find himself a job so that he could get his family back on track. However, the situation is over and they are happily living on their own.

I wanted to take the time to write out a lot of stuff that has been on my mind since I last jotted down my thoughts.  The first is my schooling. I’m so glad that I decided to pursue writing as a career because I have come to realize that I’m actually pretty good at it.  My teachers have pushed me to succeed and I have really been enjoying the results thus far.  If you haven’t already, please check out the flash story I wrote.  It’s called a flash story because it’s only a thousand words or so.  It’s basically a short, short story.  The one I wrote is called, “The Day I Died.”  It’s about the life of a lowly hospital janitor who finds himself in the wrong place at the wrong time. I won’t tell you the whole story here because it would really mean a lot if you read it for yourself.  It should take you about five or ten minutes to read it. I’m currently in the process of trying to find a place that would possibly publish it for me.  I think the real hard part about that is going to be the rejection I’m going to face.  I’m betting a lot of people will turn it down, but the thing I have to do is overcome rejection and keep pushing forward.  In the end I’m hoping to write novels and video game scripts. Although, as of late, I’ve decided that I wouldn’t mind trying my hand at screenplays as well.  People close to me know how much I love the TV show Scrubs. Well I just recently read a script for one of the episodes and then watched that very episode. It’s amazing how what the writer puts down on paper gets acted out on screen.  The actors do a great job making the story pop, but that story wouldn’t be there without the writer. I had to write a very short screenplay for one of my assignments and was actually pretty impressed with my work.  My writing style has been coming off as rather dark, but I think that will be okay.  Edgar Allan Poe and William Shakespeare are a couple of people who inspire me and they are both experts in tragic storytelling.  Anyway, my school has a film department that preps people to be film directors and one of the perks of being a writer is that I can submit screenplays to them.  The film students will get to choose what scripts they like and then turn them into short films.  I’m really hoping to have a short film that I wrote on my profile because it’s proof of what I can do as a writer and it may land me a job in the future.

Another thing I wanted to chat about is the Epic Rap Battles of History series I have been watching on Youtube.  These guys are hilarious!  They take historical characters from history and fiction and put them into rap battles against each other.  For example, you can watch Adolf Hitler square off against Darth Vader, or Master Chief go toe to toe with King Leonidas.  It’s really great stuff and I’m sure my entire family is annoyed with me watching them all the time. Here are a couple of my favorites if you care to watch.

Also on Youtube, I’ve been keeping up with a game reviewer named Angry Joe.  I found out about this guy because of his videos on the Mass Effect 3 ending.  His style of reviewing is extremely unconventional and that is what makes it so great.  Sure he’s a bit extreme and can be overly opinionated at times, but what I’ve realized is that his reviews are what I’m really looking for. He gives fair reviews while at the same time showing off some pretty hilarious parodies of the game he’s reviewing.  They’re long and fun to watch and I enjoy hearing his thoughts because he has a no bullshit attitude towards the games in question.  If the game sucks, he is going to tell that it sucks and then he is going to show you why, all while making you laugh your freaking ass off.  He’s not for everyone though.  My wife can’t stand him, but such is life.

Finally I wanted to talk a little bit about G4tv’s Video Game Deathmatch.  I love that they pit games against each other but I honestly hate the fans that vote. You could pit two really great games next to each other and even if a person likes them both, they tend to bash one of them because they like the other one better. For example, the most recent deathmatch is asking gamers to vote for the best game of 2012 and it has become heated.  Guild Wars 2 is facing off against The Walking Dead in round three and people are verbally destroying both games.  One jackass even had the nerve to say that the only reason people are voting for The Walking Dead is because they like crappy games or they’ve never played Guild Wars 2 and don’t know what they’re talking about. I haven’t played either of them but I proceeded to tell him what a fucking idiot he was for saying that. First, the poll is OPINION based meaning that fans are going to stick to what they like. Fanboys of a series will fight to the death for their game and if you’ve ever gone to a video game forum you would agree.  Second, a crappy game is based on opinion. I may think Call of Duty sucks but the millions of fans who play it constantly will disagree without question.  It goes for all games. A guy in the Halo 4 vs Dishonored poll stated that he was going to kill everyone who posted a comment if Halo 4 doesn’t win. It honestly made me want to take back my vote for Halo and give it to Dishonored.  The results don’t matter! The poll is not legit at all, especially since it allows people to vote more than once. What’s keeping a crazed fan from voting ten thousand times?

Okay so that is all I have!  If you want me to rant or talk about anything just let me know.  Until next time, gang. 

The Day I Died (Final Draft)

    My small one bedroom apartment smells like dirty gym clothes that have been sitting in a locker room for weeks. The sink in the kitchen is overflowing with dirty dishes and the trash is so full that it’s contents have spilled over the edge. I’ve been meaning to clean this place but I’ve just been too lazy. I’m sitting on the couch watching my best friend, Nathan, play some type of zombie video game while I nurse my fifth glass of rum and coke. I suppose I could ask him to clean the place up since he’s unemployed and has been living here for over a year, but I doubt he’d do it.

     “I really think this shit could happen bro.” Nathan startled me for a second because we had been sitting in silence for so long. The only sound has been the gargled and mushy sounds of the flesh hungry zombies and the shotgun Nathan is using to put them to sleep.

     “What?” I asked.

     “Zombies dude. It could totally happen. It all starts out in a hospital. Some dude is going to eat a plate of year old meatloaf that was injected with rabies and will wind up at the doctor to figure out what made him sick. Next thing you know, everyone’s dead!” Nathan cried. I stared blankly at him as I swallowed what was left in my glass.

     “Did you hear me Xavier?” Asked Nathan.

     “I did.” I replied. Even though I heard him, I wasn’t really listening. Nathan is an alarmist and a conspiracy theorist. Needless to say his cheese slid off of his cracker a long time ago. He converted his parent’s basement into a survival shelter with stashes of dried food and water that could last him five years.

     “I’m off to bed.” I say to Nathan as I stand up and head towards my room. He’s too busy performing zombie genocide to even notice.   

Despite my body aching from my hangover, I get out of bed and prepare myself for another day. My head is throbbing so bad that I can feel it radiating throughout my body. My heartbeat is keeping cadence with the throbbing as if it were performing some sort of weird hangover ritual. I’m a janitor at the local hospital downtown in the most beautiful part of the city, Shadow Falls. I also work part time at a gas station in order to help pay for my school. I often wonder where my life went so wrong because I’m a thirty-eight year old man who scrubs toilets and sells cheap cigarettes for a living rather than chasing the American dream.

After taking a nice hot shower I put on the green monkey suit the hospital forces me to wear and tie my black boots before sitting down at my desk to finish up on some homework. After I am finished I walk out into the kitchen to grab a cup of warm piss that Nathan refers to as coffee. It tastes like he made it with his tears, regret, and broken dreams. Perhaps that’s why I don’t mind guzzling it down every morning because my coffee would taste exactly the same.

     The fresh crisp air and the smell of the morning dew give my body something fresh to soak in as I step out the front door. My stomach takes it as a compliment and slowly starts to settle. I sip on Nathan’s caffeinated sorrow as I stumble towards my 1985 Chevy Camaro and drive off to work. I’ve owned this car for twenty years and it unfortunately represents the monotony that is my life. I drive the same car I use to take my high school girlfriends on dates in. I’ve worked at the same two jobs for the past ten years before coming back to my place every night to get drunk and watch Nathan live his life through fictional characters. My life sucks. 

     The park across the street from the hospital catches my eye as I pull into the parking lot. This park epitomizes the beauty of this peaceful community. The beautiful flowers sprouting up everywhere, the golden colored leaves hanging from the trees, and the plush green grass makes this place feel like heaven on earth. Some of the best times of my life were spent walking over to this park and just sitting on the bench doing nothing. It was the most relaxed I’ve ever been in my life.

     My thoughts wander elsewhere as I enter the emergency room to see four doctors pinning a patient down into his bed. The man is snarling at everyone while he tries to break free from the grasp of the doctors. His skin tone is gray and his eyes are bloodshot with rage. His yellowish brown teeth protrude from his mouth as he lashes out and bites Dr. Stevens in the neck.

     I stand frozen for a few moments as other doctors and nurses rush to the aid of Dr. Stevens. I then watch in horror as the patient breaks free and sprints right towards me. The thudding in my heart is beating faster to the cadence of my throbbing headache, which is speeding up from all of this chaos. I only manage to get ten feet away from the rabid looking man before being tackled onto my face. I feel the flesh on my shoulder being torn into through my uniform and the warm trickle of blood flowing from the wound. I scream in agony until someone finally pushes this freak off me. I try to pick myself up but my body can’t move. Instead, darkness fills my vision.

     My eyes flutter open to the faint glow of the emergency exit lights. I’m still in the emergency room and it seems no one bothered to help me. I feel weak and the pulse of my heart radiating through my body has vanished. The sights around me are horrific. The dark emergency room is slathered in blood and pieces of what I can only assume are human flesh and guts. There are bodies lying all over the floor; the bodies of the doctors who tried to hold the rabid patient down as well as many others. It looks like a scene out one of Nathan’s games. I have to leave and find help, but as I step outside I realize that I have been unconscious for quite a while. The power is out in the city and the only available light is coming from the fire that is burning half of the park down. Melancholy drapes over the night sky and I notice that there are other injured people sulking along the streets and through the park. My vision isn’t so great in the dark but I am able to make out that these people look like the rabid man who bit me. I look at the burning park and see that it is littered with bodies. Ironically, the pond in the center is reflecting a beautiful orange glow from the same fire that is making this park look like hell on earth.

     My breath begins to get shallow and my body feels weaker. My legs feel like rubber as I limp over to the nearest bench in the park to sit down. Suddenly, despite the aching pain in my back, I feel relaxed. All my worries are fleeing my body like rats fleeing a sinking ship. It doesn’t matter that I am a thirty-eight-year-old janitor dying on a park bench or that I never accomplished the life that I wanted. It doesn’t matter that my apartment is a wreck or that my breath is getting shallow. It doesn’t matter that the dirty rabid people slowly creep towards me or that Nathan’s ludicrous prediction was insanely correct. The only thing that matters is how relaxed I am at last.

The Day I Died (Rough Draft)

     I woke up this morning with my heart pounding through my chest to the cadence of the throbbing in my head.  My stomach slowly tossed and turned, as if it weren’t entirely sure whether or not it was going to send back the alcohol it received the night before.  My symptoms, no doubt, are from a night full of drinking and listening to my roommate, Nathan, explain to me how and when the zombie apocalypse was going to happen.

     “Dude, it all starts out in a hospital because the infected guy tries to figure out why he’s sick.  And before you know it, everyone’s dead.  Did you hear me Xavier?”
     I did hear him, but I wasn’t listening.  Nathan’s cheese slid off his cracker a long time ago and he’s become somewhat of a conspiracy theorist as well as many other silly quirks.  I didn’t buy into any of that zombie hype nor did I believe it could ever be possible.  That stuff only happens in movies and books.

     Despite my body aching from my hangover, I got out of bed and prepared myself for another day at work.  I’m a janitor at the local hospital located downtown in what I consider to be the most beautiful part of this great city, Shadow Falls.  I also work part time at a gas station along with being a full time student.  At the age of thirty eight I decided to head back to school.  I just couldn’t figure out where my life went so wrong or why a grown man was scrubbing toilets and selling cheap cigarettes for a career instead of living his dream.

     The fresh crisp air and the smell of the morning dew gave my body something fresh to soak in as I stepped out the front door.  My stomach took it as a compliment and slowly started to settle.  I sipped my morning coffee as I stumbled towards my 1985 Chevy Camaro and got in for my daily routine.  My life has been so busy the past ten years that my routine never really changed.  Wake up at seven in the morning, skip breakfast, drink the warm piss Nathan calls coffee, get into the car I have owned for the last twenty years, work twelve hours cleaning up vomit and shit in the emergency room, head over to the gas station to sell cancer and gas to everyone, go home to get drunk and pass out.  I never have time for the little things anymore.

     The park across the street from the hospital caught my eye as I pulled into the parking lot.  This park epitomizes the beauty of this peaceful community.  The beautiful flowers sprouting up everywhere, the golden colored leaves hanging from the trees, and the plush green grass made this place feel like heaven on earth.  Some of the best times of my life were spent walking over to this park and just sitting on the bench doing nothing.  It was the most relaxed I’ve ever been in my life.

     My thoughts wandered off elsewhere as I entered the emergency room to see four doctors pinning a patient down into his bed.  The man was snarling at everyone while he tried to break free from the grasp of the doctors.  His skin tone was gray and his eyes were bloodshot with rage.  His yellowish brown teeth protruded from his mouth as he lashed out and bit Dr. Stevens in the neck.

     I stood frozen for a few moments as other doctors and nurses rushed to the aid of Dr. Stevens. I then watched in horror, as the patient broke free and sprinted right towards me.  The thudding in my heart was beating faster to the cadence in my head, which sped up, from all of this chaos.  I only managed to get ten feet away from the rabid looking man before I was tackled onto my face.  I felt the flesh on my shoulder being torn into through my uniform and the warm trickle of blood that flowed from the wound.  I wasn’t sure what was going on, but someone had finally removed this bastard off me.  Darkness filled my vision.

     My eyes fluttered open to the light glow of the emergency exit lights.  I was still in the emergency room and it seemed no one bothered to help me.  My body felt weak and I could no longer feel the pulse of my heart radiating through my body.  The sights around me were horrific.  The emergency room was slathered in blood and pieces of what I could only assume were human flesh and guts.  There were bodies lying all over the floor; the bodies of the doctors who tried to hold the rabid patient down as well as many others.  I stumbled back towards the door.  I had to leave and find help, but as I stepped outside I realized that I had been unconscious for quite awhile.  The power was out in the city and the only light was that from the fire that was burning half of the park down.  Melancholy was draped over the night sky and I witnessed other injured people sulking along the streets and through the park, but they looked rabid like the man who bit me.  The park literally looked like hell on earth. 

     My breath began to get shallow and my body felt weaker.  I marched over to the nearest bench in the park and sat down.  Suddenly, despite the aching pain in my back, I felt relaxed.  I didn’t care that I was a thirty-eight-year-old janitor dying on a park bench.  I didn’t care that my breath was getting shallow and that the dirty rabid people had started creeping towards me.  I didn’t care that Nathan’s ludicrous prediction was insanely correct.  The only thing I cared about was how relaxed I felt at last.