The Pampered Screw Up

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This is now the fifth time I have attempted writing this particular blog. It’s a tough post for me because it involves my wife and her family. I don’t want to speak ill of people I am related to, but it’s kind of hard when a particular person I wish to speak about continually screws up everyone’s life. Last August Nikki and I allowed her eldest brother and his family to come live with us. He has a wife and two daughters that I will go ahead and say he doesn’t deserve.  The reason they came to live with us is because they were getting evicted for a second time. The first time was when they were living in Pittsburgh, but this time they were in Florida with Nikki’s parents right across the way. Nikki’s father called her and asked her to take him in. I couldn’t help but wonder why this douche is my problem. He’s almost three years older than me and my life is in more order than his. His sister, my wife, is nearly six years younger than him. How often do you hear about older siblings having to move in with their younger ones? Not too often, at least not in my experience anyway.

Nikki and I talked it over. The wife and girls can come here if they want and they can start over without him, but if he wants to come with them, he has to follow a set of rules.

No Smoking

No Drinking

No Drugs

No Going over to your cousin’s house who is known for doing drugs

No Fighting with your wife inside my house, take it outside.

From there we established that if he did come, he had thirty days to get his GED and join the Army. A thirty-year-old man needs to provide for his family, not mooch off of everyone else. Two weeks later they were all here. I felt uncomfortable from the start, but that’s because I like things the way they are and I don’t care for people coming in and ruining my daily routine. I got over it, for a little bit. Right when they first got there, they only had three hundreds dollars to their name. So Nikki and I went out and spent like five hundred freaking dollars on FOOD so eight people could eat. Problems started early for me when her brother began eating everything. The man is a garbage disposal and I’m sure it’s very easy to be like that when other people are fronting the bill.

I’m sorry, let me get the good stuff out of the way first, considering there really isn’t a whole lot of it. During those first thirty days, Nikki’s brother did manage to study and get his GED. I was very proud to see how hard he worked. Well, I suppose I can’t say he did it by himself. Nikki, his wife, and I all had to constantly remind him to GET THE FUCK OFF OF MY XBOX AND STUDY! He would go upstairs and watch Youtube videos about Math and English. I’ll be damned if I didn’t think it was a stupid way to study, but it worked and he passed. Unfortunately when we took him to the Army recruiter, he was told that he needed fifteen college credits in order to join. It’s actually not that big of a deal, I mean, it’s one semester of school. I could knock that out in my sleep baby! So Nikki signs him up for classes and we let them extend their stay since it wasn’t his fault he couldn’t join the Army. While all of this was happening, his wife had managed get a job and began working full time.

Since Nikki’s brother wasn’t able to join the Army right away, we told him to find a job. After a few days of pillaging through crappy jobs, he got a roofing position. This man worked two weeks before punching a co-worker in the face and getting fired. Now I’m not too sure how his story goes because after a little while I realized that he is a compulsive liar.  He states the man swung at him first and that he swung back. I agree that I would have done the same if it were me, but not everyone agrees with that, and I’m not too sure what to think since I cannot guarantee the legitimacy of his story. Let’s fast-forward another month. Still jobless, we find out that this “man” is not doing his schoolwork that Nikki set him up for and on top of that, he wasn’t really looking for a job nor did he want to join the Army. Wow. Then why the hell are you living in my house?

It was after he told us that he didn’t want to join the Army (and the fact that he lied about doing school) that Nikki and I decided they needed to move out. We set a date; 15 November 2012 was the last day they were allowed to mooch off of us. On top of that we decided to collect rent from them for the month of October and the fifteen days in November. The October rent payment was to be in the form of five hundred dollars while the month of November was to be two hundred and fifty dollars worth of groceries. They were collecting food stamps and although he was wasting most of it on Pepsi and Doritos, we still managed to sneak a rent payment out of it. Considering we were paying for their food, it was the least they could do. However, issues arose about them paying rent. Nikki’s brother told me that they could do one or the other, preferably not the rent money. Obviously that solution went over as well as you may have thought. It was pay the rent or get the fuck out. We were better off either way and honestly we were getting fed up at this point. They paid both months and that was it.

He finally gets a job at a crappy company that called him in like twice a week, if that. The time was nearing for them to leave and that is when he and I had a falling out. I failed to mention earlier that they were using our car to get around. Every morning he would drive his wife to work and come back to my house. It was a hassle at times because on a few occasions Nikki was forced to ride her bike to work while they kept the car all day. This way they could both go to work. Please take note that my wife, the younger sister in this story, not only sacrificed our daughter’s bed, house, and money to her older brother, but now she was riding a bike to work so they could get around. What. The. Fuck.

One particular morning, Nikki’s brother informed me that he had to go out and apply for some jobs. Let me tell you, this “man” was gone for three hours, making it so I was almost late taking Kaleigh to school. When he came in I asked him in the nicest way I could, where the fuck he had been. Well he went by the apartment area to turn in the paperwork that would hopefully land them an apartment, and then he went job searching in the area since the one he currently held let him work once every two weeks. I didn’t believe that it took him three hours, so I asked him where he applied.

“King Soopers, and uh………….I don’t want to say.”

What? He was too embarrassed to tell me that he “applied” at a bunch of fast food places. I knew he was lying though because of his hesitation. Hell he just started naming off any fast food joint that came to his head. I then caught him off guard and asked him if those people would remember him if I called to verify.

“Okay, dad, whatever. What is this? I’m a grown ass man dude.” Yes you are. A grown ass man mooching off of his sister and her husband. Nice. So I took the car away. I told him that his wife would have to take the bus to get around and that I wasn’t making my wife ride her bike to work. Holy shit you would not believe the response I got from this “man.” He was so upset that I was taking the car and he couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t just do him this one favor.

Here is your fucking favor asshole. I let you live in my house, sleep in my daughter’s bed, drive my wife’s car, all so you could sit on your fucking ass all day while I cleaned up and took care of my kids all while trying to squeeze school in. You left mountains of Pepsi bottles all over my house, you had sex in my daughter’s bed when I asked you not to, you stained her sheets with it, you left dirty dishes upstairs when we told you that you were not to eat or drink up there. You disrespected the very people who went out of their way to help you. You sacrificed a tiny bit of your selfish life to achieve your GED and after that you became the laziest, most selfish person I have ever met in my entire life. And I was being a mean person by taking my car away when he couldn’t follow simple rules like, don’t be out for ten years because I have places to be as well?

That weekend we got into it again. He wanted to go stay at his cousin’s house for the weekend and I didn’t think that was okay. They had like eight days to move out of my house and I didn’t think it was appropriate for them to go party at his cousin’s place when they should be looking for a place to live. So I told him that if he left, he could take his all of his belongings with him because he was not welcome back. Again, I was being a bad person and he threw the fact that he was a grown man into my face, which I agreed to and told him to be a grown ass “man” elsewhere. So he actually packs up his entire family’s belongings and has his cousin come over to pick him up. He hadn’t talked this through with his wife, who was at work at the time. They didn’t have a place to stay, and his cousin was only letting them in until the weekend was over. He told Nikki that they would live in a hotel after that. Riiiight. Long story short, we gave him a chance to talk to his wife and she told him to shut it.  They stayed, got an apartment and moved out. Thank God!

The story doesn’t end there. He tells everyone that he got a new job at a moving company and for the past two months they have been doing well, or so we thought. Turns out, he didn’t have a job and was smoking pot with his cousin on a daily basis. He lied to his wife about getting paid and took her half of the rent money to “go pay up”. But he didn’t. Now they get evicted for a THIRD time and she finally made the wise decision to leave him. Nikki and I took his wife and daughters in while he gets left on the street. Up until tonight we thought he was going to be living at his cousin’s house, but as fate would have it, his cousin told him no and he landed himself in a homeless shelter tonight. Thank God, this “man” can finally learn to grow up by seeing how hard life can really be. WRONG!!!! Nikki’s parents bail him out again. They had the nerve to call and ask her to spot them money so he can get a flight to Pittsburgh were an Uncle has decided to take him in. FUUUUCK NOOO! But that didn’t stop her dad from finding another family member to help out. Here is what’s wrong with that.

First off, Nikki doesn’t get as much attention or help from her parents as he does. I mean, why should the child who is doing better off deserve attention? The screw up who takes everyone for granted is in constant need and sucks up everyone’s attention. Tell me how screwed up it is that the victims in the story, his wife and two children, are the ones who had to move back into my house so they could save up enough money to fly back to Florida. Yet the man who did this to them gets yet another free ride. He is being rewarded and they are being punished. I really wish Nikki and I could do more for them, but we can’t.  Please, pray for her and her two children. They don’t deserve what they’ve been through. If you’re a better person than me, you’ll also pray for Nikki’s brother. I won’t though; he’s not worthy of my words. I haven’t even said his worthless name in this post.  I cannot come to grips with this situation and I really wish my wife didn’t have to put up with it. I do apologize for the length of this post, but I had to get it out of my system.