It has been awhile since I've been able to get this mess of words
out of my head. I've tried sitting down
to blog and to work on my book, but I have an utter hatred for everything I
write. My buddy Patrick has repeatedly
told me to pull my head out if my ass and just write. Even with his amazing words of inspiration,
I've still fallen short in the "I enjoy my writing" category. So I decided to try something new.
Actually I was sitting here flipping through my awesome Windows
Phone 7 and came across the Office app and figured I could use Word to try and
type my first real blog from a phone.
Sure, I typed three sentences last November from my dinky Droid, but
that sucked. I figured this would be a
nice way to break this writers block or whatever this stump I'm in is called
and start fresh again. At least this way
it takes a lot of the pressure off of how anal, haha I said anal, I am about my
spelling and grammar. I just want everything
to be perfect, but typing out a blog on a cell phone has made me realize that
this could be a disaster and I'm okay with that.
I've always tried to make it so my blog was a writing stepping
stone to help prepare me to write a book, but it's not even close. It has become a very fun hobby though, that
is when I don't try to make everything perfect.
I decided to give up on where "This Gaming Life" was headed
because it was eating my insides.
Seriously, I'm sure it was just as painful to read as it was for me to
write. Hours of my life were wasted on
three of those blogs and they have been my least viewed posts. That segment was supposed to be about how
gaming has impacted my life and I plan to get it back there, so no more rating
past games.
Another thing that has bugged me about my writing is the fact that
I'm trying to be funny. Why? Because people like funny and they'll
continue to come back. They'll also
continue to come back if you write more than once every other month. I suppose I let myself get a little
overwhelmed when it comes to seeing the success others have in an area I'm
attempting to have talent in.
Cracked.com has made me want to be funny while The Hunger Games has made
me want to talented enough to make the world crazy for awhile. I know I have the talent, I just feel like my
son must feel when he haunches himself up on all fours and rocks back and forth
as if practicing a future sex move all because he knows he has the ability to
crawl. I have the ability to write, I
guess I just need to hump the air long enough until I figure it out.
Oh, I just thought of another reason I think I let myself fall
into this slump. Other than pretending
to be a comedian when I'm more talented being myself and just hating my writing
regardless, it was competition. I wasn't
trying to be competitive, but a person I had worked with started a blog almost
a year after I started mine and I think it was partly because I pepped mine up
so much that it may have inspired him.
He is a talented dude artistically but I didn't enjoy his writing. At first he began hounding the shit out of
people to subscribe to him, check my page to see how many people I have, and
then talk to me more about how much people like his shit. It kind of pissed me off because I pride
myself on the fact that the 23 people who subscribed to me did it because they
enjoy my writing, not because I tried to make myself feel superior because my
subscribers number is higher than someone else's. This is my hobby and I don't need to compete,
but damnit to hell if he didn't make me feel like I needed to. Was this his intention? Maybe, I don't know, I just got that vibe
when he kept telling me how many people signed up for him every other hour for
two weeks straight. I had to unsubscribe
from his blog though, one to cut that tie that we were in competition, but also
because he writes about his kids and family and it's a demographic I'm not a
part of. I feel by staying subscribed
I'd be as fake as any of the other people who don't read his stuff because they
don't care. He should have subscribers
that give a damn and I hope that the 23 of you care about this fucking blog
because it isn't going anywhere. No hard
feelings man, just my way of thinking.
So on my phone I have no idea how long that last paragraph is
going to look, but one thing im taking away from this experience is the fact
that I don't care. I like having ideas
of things to blog about so shoot me a message or an email and let me know your
ideas. Don't be a bitch, just do it.
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