Monday, January 16, 2012

This Gaming Life Part IV: Moving Forward (C-F)

This Gaming Life

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Key:      F=Favorite     G=Good      M=Meh      S=Sucked





C.
 
Call of Duty 2 F
Call of Duty 3 S
Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare F
Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2 G
Call of Duty Black Ops G
 
I had really hoped that I could skip Call of Duty period and just never talk about it.  I have a love hate with this series, mostly because the companies that make the game are owned by Activision, the Satan of Gaming.  That’s a different story in itself, but the fact that Call of Duty has a new title every single year is a tad annoying as well.  I really enjoyed Call of Duty 2, hated the 3rd, and fell in love with the Modern Warfare series.  Call of Duty Black Ops was pretty decent as well; however I do have to say that Call of Duty lacks a ton of creative story writing.  Instead, the games tend to focus on awesome action sequences and fighting.  There is never a dull moment when fighting through the single player portion of the game, so a mediocre story can easily slide on by.  Then there’s multiplayer.  I don’t have much to say because I suck so bad at it that I never bother to play it longer than twenty minutes.  Perhaps I’m reaching that gaming age where I hate multiplayer or maybe it really does suck and people don’t want to admit it.  Regardless of the gameplay, I hate the annual releases.  I feel like Call of Duty is the video game version of candy corn.  I always say I won’t buy the new COD game coming out, but low and behold, I always do.  Thanks for the love hate you jerks.  I rated the games next to their titles above. 







Cars  
I’m what you would call an achievement whore.  I hunt achievements down like a fat kid raiding the fridge.  I did have a time in my gaming past where I would play any game for achievements rather than for fun.  Cars was one of the games I played because it had an easy achievement list.  To my surprise, I actually didn’t think this game was that bad.  The driving was very smooth, the missions very easy, and I even got to go tractor tipping.  In the end I got all of the achievements and had a little bit of fun as well.  Unfortunately, I rated the game M because it was too simple and obviously built for people much younger than me, age wise, not maturity wise. 





Chessmaster Live  
Chess is my favorite board game.  I only wish I was better at it!  Playing this game on an electronic board versus a computer player is actually pretty lame.  Not once have I been gratified from besting a computer player and whenever I play online I get my ass kicked.  Strategy is not one of my strong points, but since I’d rather play a game like this against people I actually know (because they suck), I give this game an M.







Civilization Revolution  
I do enjoy a fun real time strategy game like Age of Empires or Rise of Nations, but I enjoy them on the computer.  That's where an RTS belongs in my opinion because when playing them on a console, I feel constricted.  I will say that out of all of the RTS games I've played on my Xbox, Civilization Revolution has probably been the best.  It's quite an enjoyable game and I love building my cities and watching them grow and grow into something amazing.  I also like the fact that I can win in other ways rather than just killing off all of the enemies.  Why spend eternity as one entity when you can watch everyone else suffer as your nation’s bitch?  This is a game I would buy for the Xbox for those times when I don't really know what I'm in the mood to play.  I rate this game G.





Comix Zone  
This game takes me way back to the Sega where the graphics were mediocre and the game play all too simple.  Comix Zone really stood out at that time as a creative loner with the unique way it took me into a comic book.  I literally had to play my way through the pages of a comic book.  However, because I was like freaking ten years old and I completely sucked at this game, I never got too far.  I'd always wind up dying at the same part and having to start the entire game over.  Was the “saved game” feature not created yet?  I eventually never played the game ever again which is the reason I give it an M rating.  Perhaps I should download it off of the Xbox Live Marketplace and give it another go round.







Crackdown
Branching off of other successful sandbox games such as Grand Theft Auto and Saints Row, Crackdown takes a different direction.  The games I just named typically feature a thug working his way up the ladder in a city polluted by organized crime.  In Crackdown, we play as a super cop hell bent on taking out organized crime units.  It was a decent story, even if it was extremely short lived.  The game play wasn't the best I've seen either, but I did enjoy how over the top it was.  Jumping to extreme heights, kicking cars so hard it sends them flying, and picking up fallen foes and throwing them at other people was all very entertaining.  Characters are also able to climb the highest buildings in the featured city.  This was neat because I could exercise my need for adventurous exploration by focusing on collecting orbs hidden all over the city.  This feature created a ton of mindless fun for me and I honestly spent more time screwing off than I did on the main focus.  It's a shame the story wasn't a lot better, but because of the mindless, orb collecting fun, and the quirky over the top game play, I rated this game G.



Crimson Skies: High Road to Revenge   
The list of games I've never completed seems to continually grow and I have a lot of catching up to do.  At the top of my catch up list rests Crimson Skies: High Road to Revenge.  I wish I could tell you about the story more than what I know, which is that it takes place in the 1930's and air travel is very popular.  I spent a majority of my time on this game playing multiplayer on Xbox Live, which was still very new to me at that time.  I was also still more into shooters than anything else, but the idea of playing people online turned on a hunger for competition.  Being one of the first flight sim games I've ever played (other than Star Fox); I would fly around American skylines and shoot other people out of the air.  I was attracted to how simple and smooth the flying was as well the colorful and cartoonish graphics, making the fact that I sucked that much easier to deal with.  With the many choices of planes to choose from along with the addicting online game play has made this game an unforgettable experience.  I rate it F.

CSI Hard evidence

Here is another victim to my achievement high.  It was ranked as a pretty easy game to net 1000 points to my score and that rank didn't lie.  The game sucked though and it felt nothing like the TV show.  The research difficulty setting was set to “retarded” and searching for clues was as simple as being placed in a small square room with the only objects in sight being the clues you need to “search” for.  I swear my three month old son could conquer this game effortlessly.  The graphics looked like the game was made ten years ago, and even if it had been, it would have been just as big a failure as it is today.  I have yet to even attempt the other games released in the series and unless I'm extremely desperate for easy achievements, I doubt I ever will.  Capital S for super sucky.


D.


Dance central
I don't know that it's really fair that I give this game such a crappy rating, but like I said, at the beginning, it’s based on my opinion.  I'm a top heavy, wide shoulder white male that is attracted to women, so I obviously can't dance.  I don't know that I even want to know how to dance if the only songs available to jive to are crappy bubble gum garbage hits that are played on the radio (Lady Goo Goo for the loss).  Pop in some disco and you may get a better rating from me because I've always wanted to dance like Travolta.  The game just seems to require way too much work.  First, you need to go through and learn all the moves, and then after an hour of repetitive practice, you can go do the whole dance and suck at it.  Maybe it wouldn’t be too bad if all the songs consisted of the same moves, but they don’t.  You have to learn the moves for each and every song.  That was my experience and I really didn't have any fun at all.  My sister got a pretty good kick out of it though, must pay off to be a dancer.  I give the game the same rating it gave me, S.



Dash of Destruction  
A few years ago, Doritos started having these contests where people would pitch their ideas for a game and the winner would get to have their fantasy become a reality.  Dash of Destruction was the first Doritos game I played and it wasn't too terrible.  The game is played in one of two perspectives.  In the first perspective, the player is controlling the Doritos car and must deliver the tasty chips to the given locations all while avoiding getting eaten by a Doritos addicted T-Rex.  The other perspective has the player controlling the T-Rex while he roams the city and devours any and all Doritos cars.  Who knew delivering chips would rate among the most dangerous jobs?  The game was fun for about five cheesy minutes; Pun totally intended.  I give the game an M.





Dead Island
 
This is one of quite a few games that I am currently playing through and I freaking love it.  It mixes some of my favorite elements together such as RPG, first person view, melee weapons, and ZOMBIES!  That's right, a zombie RPG is on the market, how cool is that?  At first I was thinking the game would be extremely heavy on the shooting like Left 4 Dead, but it's not.  I think it's more realistic in the sense that 90% of the fighting taking place is through melee.  The choices of melee weapons differ due to the surroundings and they are items that would most likely wind up getting used in a real outbreak.  You can play as one of four survivors, all of whom apparently can't be turn into zombies.  They’re goal is to try to help everyone out with the dangerous stuff because they can literally go out and battle these demon spawns without the worry of becoming infected.  The game really reaches out to me because it combines features from Fallout 3 (zooming in on the character who is talking to you), Dead Rising 2 (being able to custom make weapons, baseball bat with nails anyone?), and Borderlands (the leveling system and the pick and choose layout of the missions prior to running out and accomplishing them, which I suppose can be related to Fallout as well).  I may or may not give a full review on the game whenever I'm able to finish it, but for now I love it enough to grant it an F.  Oh side note, I love the opening video.








Dead or Alive M
Dead or Alive 2 S
Dead or Alive 3 G
Dead or Alive 4 S
 
I went through a stage in gaming where I loved nothing more than fighting games.  Mortal Kombat is easily my favorite, but Dead or Alive 3 came close.  Eventually I played Dead or Alive one and two when they were released in a dual pack (dubbed DoA Ultimate) and I was extremely unimpressed.  I'm not sure if it was because I was use to the much newer version or what, but I didn't like them.  The third game was pretty cool though and I really enjoyed fighting on environments that changed as the battle ensued.  Over time the game would get boring, but that's why I'd play Mortal Kombat until that got boring and just repeat the cycle.  Also, being able to go back and watch the endings at anytime in the theater was pretty cool.  I especially like the one where the girl was naked.  Leave me alone, I was like 16.  It was Dead or Alive 4 that killed it for me.  I suppose I realized that every DoA game I've played doesn't require any skill at all.  I typically just button mashed, unlike Mortal Kombat where I knew everyone's specific combo moves.  That, and the computer cheated and beat me all the time and that made me really sad.  The fourth game was absolutely frustrating beyond belief and I honestly couldn't take it anymore.  I rated the games next to their titles above.



Dead Rising
 
I'd love to tell you everything about this game, but I never got far enough to even know much about it other than it directly reminded me of Dawn of the Dead.  I know that I find myself stuck in a mall that is overrun with zombies and I spend a lot of time going out and looking for survivors and taking pictures of the grotesque scenery.  The most fun I had with the game was rolling bowling balls at the slow moving zombies and doing funny things like putting masks on their faces.  The game was goofy enough for me to like, but with limited time to play it, being borrowed from a friend in tech school, I never did finish it.  I can say that from what I did play, the game seemed very redundant in a boring way and because of that I give the game a G rather than an F.




Defense Grid
 
I love tower defense games.  A tower defense game places the gamer in a setting where he needs to construct weapon towers as defense to something.  Defense Grid has the player defending energy from invading Aliens and it features dozens of maps to play on. Each level progressively gets more difficult and challenging.  Placing the right towers in the right places is very fulfilling when it pays off overall.  But what's the difference in tower defense games?  Nothing, they seem to be the same story with different methods of death, but that doesn't stop them from being fun.  This particular one gets a G.




Diablo II  
It's been at least ten years since I've last played this game and when I was playing it I didn't even know what was going on.  I just remember how much I loved using my potions and running around killing bad guys so I could loot them for awesome new weapons and armor.  Diablo III will be coming out soon though so I'm hoping to get back into the action with a more lucid view on things.  I rate this blurry memory, G.







Doritos Crash Course  
Doritos does it again, another free game offered on Xbox Live.  This game was much more fun than Dash of Destruction though.  Have you ever watched those crazy Japanese shows, which have now been recreated in America, where people run through these crazy obstacles and jumps in order to be the fasted contestant?  Well that's exactly what crash course is.  Using your Xbox Avatar, you run through a series of obstacles attempting to obtain a gold medal.  This game has provided some of the most stupid fun I've had in a while.  Try it friends, it's totally free and I rate it G.  



Donkey Kong (original)  
I'm sorry, but maybe it's because I enjoy modern games much more than the classics that makes me dislike this game.  Climbing ladders and avoiding lame obstacles to rescue a princess from a giant ape is not how I like to get my game on.  Besides, the hairy bastard can't win without cheating.  I hate him and his conniving ways.  This game SUCKS!





Donkey Kong Country (Super Nintendo)  
Now here is a Donkey Kong game that doesn't suck.  Using the typical side scroll view used on older systems, we get to play as Donkey Kong as he hunts down his missing horde of bananas.  I like this game way better than Mario because the obstacles are more fun (in my opinion) and the reward is much sweeter.  You may say, hey Cody, Mario gets the girl.  I say, Mario gets a lousy kiss before the dumb chick gets kidnapped again and he's on another mission to find her.  At lease Donkey Kong can gorge himself on bananas and if they get stolen again, who cares.  He could just save himself a trip and hit up a Super Wal-Mart.  I've beat this game like fifty times, I think it deserves an F.


Duck Hunt  
Seriously, how cool was Duck Hunt?  You could point your plastic gun towards the TV and shoot the ridiculously fake looking birds.  Does gaming get better than that?  Well yeah it does actually, but back in the day it would have kicked the snot out of the Wii.  Ha, actually it still does beat the Wii because it was actually fun.  I don't really have a complaint other than the fact that I can't shoot the damn dog for laughing at me when I miss a bird, not even if I put the gun right on the TV screen.  F, hands down.







E.  
I haven't played one game in my entire life that starts with an E.  What the hell is wrong with me? Has there even been a game made that starts with an E? If it's E.T I'm not playing it.  Oh wait, I actually have three games on my shelf that start with an E, but I have yet to play.  Elder Scrolls IV and V as well as Enslaved: Odyssey to the west.  Stay tuned for their reviews, if I care to do them.
 


F.
 



Fable II
Fable III
The RPG's I play are a lot more futuristic and crazy, and I typically avoid that crazy fantasy stuff.  I'd say Diablo is the only game that I've ever played where I use potions and fight the weird creatures of the earth.  That is until Fable came out and showed me that it's okay to play games that have the words “troll” and “magic” without looking like a giant dork.  To me, Fable is extremely unique.  Many games do it now, but Fable really mastered the decision engine, in my opinion.  Every choice I make in the game may come at a consequence.  Save the many, but your family dies type of decisions.  Also throughout the game every decision has an effect on whether or not my character is good or evil.  These types of moral decisions really made the game fun as well wielding a giant sword and shooting fireballs at people.  I'm a Fable fan for sure and both the second and third games get an F rating.  I should really look into playing the first one though.




Fallout 3

I can't give a proper rating on this game because I got three hours in and realized that I'd probably spend the rest of my life playing it.  Instead I decided to finish some of the other games I own but haven’t completed.  That mission is actually still in progress.  Fallout, I shall see you soon!  For now, you get an F.

                                            





                                                                                                                                     


Feeding Frenzy
Feeding Frenzy 2


What better way to teach children how the food chain really works.  It's one fish eating smaller fish, and so on and so forth.  I basically just described both games to you.  You start off small time, eating small fish until you're fully grown and all the while you're avoiding getting eaten by bigger fish.  After a good series of that you move on to play as the fish that was formerly trying to eat you.  Eventually you make your way all the way up to a killer whale and you get to totally dominate everyone.  It's fun; just make sure you watch out for those fishermen dropping mines because that stuff will mess you up.  Both games get a G.


Fight Night Round 3
I can't remember the name of the one boxing game I played decades ago, but I can remember it being Mike Tyson and Evader Holyfield squaring up and punching their terribly rendered faces into terribly rendered pulps.  That was the last time I played a boxing game until Fight Night Round 3 came out.  What happened to the first two games?  I missed them, oh well.  It really felt good to dodge punches and throw some of my own at the same time.  It really gave a sense of realness to the game that I hadn’t experienced playing that old school mess.  I played the game non-stop because it had an easy achievement list and with that, I got burned out extremely quick.  In fact, the game is terribly redundant and I mean the bad kind.  Maybe I could have avoided this outcome had I taken my time progressing through the game, but I didn’t.  If the fun didn't run out I'd rate this game much higher, but instead it gets an M. 


Force Unleashed, The
I do enjoy Star Wars games, but it feels like the developers gave up on making decent plots.  Sure, we already think the movies are great so why not use the name to milk more money from the faithful diehards.  As Darth Vader's apprentice, we find ourselves roaming around and hunting down remaining Jedi in preparation to assassinate the Emperor.  Of course the story has twists and turns and the same old boring expectations that any popular movie based game has, but being able to kick ass with a light saber and use the force to throw our enemies across the map is so entertaining that I'd play the game again just for that experience.  In fact, I’d play any Star Wars game for that experience no matter how lame the story is.  I give this game a G.


Frontlines Fuels of War

Panic and war break out when the world is enduring a fuel crisis.  You commandeer the role of a member of The Stray Dogs, a company sent to spearhead assaults from the games antagonist.  I did enjoy this modern FPS even though I tend to be anti-modern shooters.  Modern shooters all feel the same to me and because of that, they present themselves as being redundant and boring.  This game, though, flows very smoothly as far as the combat goes and I was as also able to drive around deadly RC vehicles to covertly take out the enemy.  Yeah, okay, that definitely curbs my negativity towards the genre.  I thoroughly enjoy games that allow me to get creative with my destruction.  The thing I liked most about Frontlines was the way it was played.  Online and single player followed the same format, territories.  There are a certain number of checkpoints on a map; the goal is to control all of them, making it a tough feat for both sides to progress.  It’s such a satisfying feat being able to best the other team in a battle of wits for the land you’re fighting on, who cares if the difficulty is set to easy?  Frontlines gets an easy F.


Fuzion Frenzy F
Fuzion Frenzy 2 S  
I was introduced to this game by playing Halo.  It was new to me at the time, but Halo actually had demos on the game disc and Fuzion Frenzy was one of them.  When we were a tad tired from playing Halo, we would retreat to this demo to enjoy one of three party games.  I'm not typically a party game kind of guy, but Fuzion Frenzy made it awesome.  With over forty different mini games, we would be busy for hours.  What better way to waste a nice day than to sit in a dark basement crushing giant bugs with a hammer?  My favorite mini game had to be the button combo ones because honestly, I'm just awesome at them.  Fuzion Frenzy 2 came out a little while after the Xbox 360 was released and it was such a disappointment.  New features, new game modes, new mini games, were all crappy, especially that annoying announcer.  I ranked them above.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Oh No He Didn't

**Take heed, this post was written during a time that I was extremely angry, so there are some naughty words and stuff.  Read it if you want, but I did warn you and if you’re offended it’s  your own fault.  Real feelings shouldn't be censored. **

Some people are real jerks.  I mean it; they are so balls deep in their asshole ways that having a conversation with them is just as excruciating as being forced to listen to a Justin Bieber song.  I had a not so fun little experience with one of these ass bags yesterday as I tried to get on base to pick up my kids.  I roll up to the gate after waiting in line for like a whole five minutes to show my ID to the rent a cop standing guard.  To my surprise there was a master sergeant checking ID's, which is odd because he fits the "chief" role rather than the "Indian" role and he was doing the job of a peon.

"Afternoon."  I say to him as I hand over my ID card.  No response in return, not yet anyway.  This only foreshadowed things to come and it fine tuned the edges of his douche bagginess which was soon to be revealed.  After staring intently at my ID he asked his question.

"I'm a douche bag, I look like a douche bag, I talk like a douche bag, so I must be a dirty piece of shit douche bag.  Don't you think I'm a douche bag?"

That's not what he really said, but it is most certainly the subliminal message he sent when he asked his real question.

"Why are you wearing A1C stripes?"  How about because I suck at PT like Ashley Simpson sucks at lip singing.  Are you really asking me this question when all you have to do is scan my card into your little hand held computer so it can spill out all the details of my career to you?  Why does it matter anyway?  Just note my arrival and let me move the fuck on.  I'm not a piece of shit airman.  I've worked hard in the time I've spent in the air force and my only downfall has been that fucking PT test.  I hate when people assume that I'm a bad kid because I’m not the greatest at everything I do.  I've received the same punishment as someone who stole money from the air force.  Think about it, this girl frauds the government, is branded a thief, and all that happens is she gets her stripe taken away.  She didn't even get discharged.  Me?  Well I've been a model citizen and my only downfall is running, yet because I can't pass the test, I get tossed into the same bin as the thief and on top of that, get a discharge.  I disliked her a lot, especially when she was eligible to win awards from the people she robbed, while even though I passed my PT test, my low scores weren’t good enough to allow my hard work to be recognized.  What’s really important here?  It really makes a lot of sense if you don't think about it.

"I lost my other stripe."  That was the only answer I could come up with.  Sure, he was probably asking because my ID stated that I was a SrA and it looked as if I put on an old uniform because it was laundry day.  Nope, not in this case, but you're forgiven because you did, at least, have a legit question, even though all you need to do is scan my ID and let me through, jackass.  I mean, in all honesty it’s none of your business.  If I was out of uniform, some of the many people I work with daily would have surely noticed it and brought it to my attention. 

"I lost my other stripe, SERGEANT,” he answered back with slight contempt in his voice.  My eyes gazed from the steering wheel and moved slowly towards the sound of this assholes voice.  He didn't.  He has to be kidding.  I mean I know he has four more stripes than I do, but he wouldn't be that arrogant would he?  Is his ego that hungry that it needs to be spoon fed encouragement by people he doesn't even know?  Is it that important that I know what rank you are even though I can clearly see it on your arm?  What kind of tenacious ass hat needs to flaunt his rank to other people for his own sick gratification?  I'm not even in the same squadron as this dude.  Maybe that's how the security police talk to each other, but I'm medical, and over there we treat each other with respect (I think).  I've been in the military for close to six years now and not once during that entire time, including basic training, did I ever have to end my answer towards someone by uttering their rank.  This isn't the army dude, I'm not your lap dog, I'm not your troop, and I'm certainly not your bitch.

"How about you take it up the ass, faggot."  I wanted to say that so bad.  What would be the point though, I only have a few weeks left with this wretched job and I don't need to get myself into trouble.  So what do I do?  Do I answer him the way he wants me to so his ego can be successfully stroked?  All while my ego and my pride get shattered to pieces because a person who outranks me wants to be an arrogant flaming cock bite? 

"Yes sir, that's correct."  There, I fit a sir in there to show you the respect your rank holds, but don't think for one second that I respect you at all.  If you want respect from someone, I suggest dealing out a little bit of it first.  It’s kind of like that saying, treat people how you want to be treated.  Well if you treat people like shit, they’ll most likely respond in the same manner.  People don't like or respect these types of people and it's because they’re not considerate to others.  I should have just taken his name and tattled to my first shirt about him, but that's just petty.  I'm a 26 year old man with a wife and two kids and I’m even a home owner.  I may not be the most mature person in the world, but I'm still an adult and I demand to be treated like one, regardless of what the rank on my arm says.  So here you go asshole, you got a "sir" out of the deal rather than what you wanted and you'd better take it because that's all you're going to get from me.  I don't know why I let these things get to me, but they do and it's annoying.  I should take this whole incident and file it under the “ annoying as fuck" folder in the filing cabinet within my brain.  This way when I talk to people in the future about my military career and they want to know what the epitome of "anal retentive power hungry, egotistical, wannabe alpha male" is, I'll have a story to share with them.

Friday, January 6, 2012

This Gaming Life Part IV: Moving Forward (A-B)

This Gaming Life

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I've been working on a blog I plan on titling "My Copasetic Week", but I have video game fever and I feel that it's a good time that I continue my "This Gaming Life" segment. I typically write about the games I play and enjoy and their impact on me, but there are too many games that I've played and not enough time in the world to talk about them.  New games are coming out and I was thinking about testing my review skills (if I have any) and write out a review on a few new things I plan on playing.  So instead of taking the rest of my life to talk about games I've played in the past, I'm going to go down the alphabet and list every game I've played starting with the given letter to get them all out of the way.  I may forget some, or a lot, but I'm bored and I don't really care.  Seriously, if the game wasn't even good enough for me to remember, then it's not good enough for me to write about.  I think I'll go ahead and rate them too. I'll provide a key so you can see how my grading scale works. Do me a favor and try to remember that my ratings are based on my own personal opinion.  Don't get butt hurt if I say Barbie's Horse Adventures sucked ass because I'll hate you forever.  I'll also write a paragraph next to each one to create the illusion that this blog post actually took a lot of effort.  Since I’ve played so many games, this segment will be released in multiple different parts depending on the length.  Enjoy my obsessive compulsive disorder.


 
Key:       F=Favorite          G=Good               M=Meh                               S=Sucked
 
0-10



1 Vs 100  

It’s safe to say that I’m a fan of trivia games, but 1 Vs 100 raised the bar compared to any trivia game I’ve ever played.  It was online and I got to play against millions of people during a live show.  If a player was doing well he/she would have the opportunity to be picked to have their avatar showcased either as the One or as a member of the Mob (100).  I never got selected because I must not be as smart (or lucky) as I thought, but the game was a complete blast because I got to play along with the contenders anyway.  My grade for it is F.  The game only lasted two seasons though, RIP 1v 100.


A:
 
A Kingdom for Keflings
A World of Keflings
 


Using my avatar, I run around as giant among a bunch of tiny people (the Keflings) and I help build their town for them.  The whole purpose is to build everything that you possibly can given the blueprints you’re provided.  Although some features were added or expanded on in the second game, it still didn’t make it thrilling enough to make me want to play it more than once.  However for the times I played through both of them, I had a lot of fun.  My rating for both is G.



 
Aegis Wing
 
No joke, I played this game once and it was for a whopping ten minutes.  I found it rather difficult and boring.  Why play this game when I can own n00bs at Halo?  Taking that into consideration along with the fact that I don’t even remember how this game is played, I give it an M.






 
Age of Empires (1 and 2)
 
 Real time strategy at its best.  Building empires and destroying your neighbor countries is such a blast.  With many different nations to choose from and a few different ways to win, these games can keep me occupied on a very boring weekend.  It’s been years since I’ve played them though so I say it’s time for an old school gaming night on my computer.  I sure do miss taking my priests around and converting all of my enemies and their buildings so that the entire map is dotted red (my team’s color).  I give them both an F.
 


Alan Wake
 
Alan Wake is an awesome anti-hero.  An author who’s plagued with writers block battles the darkness to find his wife who went missing during their vacation at the small town of Bright Falls.  Using a flashlight to dissipate the darkness surrounding his enemies and then spraying them with bullets is a very unique way to fight.  The game is creepy, dark, and riveting, which is just enough to make me fall in love with it.  The story itself is just icing on the cake, so I give this amazing psychological thriller an F and it’s easily one of my favorite games of all time.


 
Amped
Amped 2
Amped 3
 
I haven’t really always been a huge fan of the skate around and do tricks to get a high score type of games (i.e. Tony Hawk), but Amped hooked me from the second I played it.  Featuring snowboarding rather than skateboarding, Amped provided a very neat environment that let me do more than just mediocre tricks to rack up a high score.  My favorite part had to be running over the shit talking snowmen.  Actually finding them required a little adventuring through the environments.  The third game almost ruins the series for me, though.  The metamorphosis was for the worst.  The game became a dull cartoon with a storyline which made it so lame that Tony Hawk actually seemed more enjoyable.  Amped 1 and 2 I give an F, Amped 3 I give an S.


 
Assassin's Creed
Assassin's Creed 2
Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood
Assassin’s Creed: Revelations  
 You’ll see me utter this phrase many times in this blog, I love sandbox style games.  Assassin’s Creed places me in the shoes of Desmond Miles, a modern day assassin who is kidnapped by his rivals, the Templars.  Using a special machine dubbed the Animus, the Templars view history through Desmond’s bloodline in search of a missing artifact that has amazing power.  Mixing in a loosely accurate vision of the Third Crusade and ancient Italy, we follow the lives of Altair and Ezio at the times in their lives leading up to and after their encounter with the artifact.  Jumping across rooftops and assassinating the bad guys as discreetly as possible is just one of the many things that make Assassin’s Creed one of my favorite games.  I could go on about this game for pages and pages galore so I’ll leave it at this.  I will say that the games make me want to learn more about the history of the cities and people involved and it’s the first time a video game had that effect on me.  My rating for all four games is F.


 
B:



 
Battlefield 2
Battlefield Bad Company
 
I played Battlefield 2 quite a bit back on the old Xbox and although I don’t really remember the story I did enjoy the fighting.  I was able to fast travel to any ally on the map and take control of their person.  It really opened up a lot of strategy when attacking certain points and it helped make flanking the enemy much easier.  That and knowing that if I died I could just play as someone else made the game pretty simple.  Bad Company is a great game as well; however, I played it during a time where I was using gamefly.  The problem with playing it during that time is that I only cared about getting the achievements for the games as fast as possible so I could get my money’s worth.  Bad Company was my breaking point because I was enjoying the game’s story and action, but I was too hell bent on getting the achievements earlier rather than later.  I sent the game back without finishing it and cancelled my subscription right away.  The game was very fun though and the story was pretty compelling (for me anyway), so I’ll have to pick it up in the future.  I rate both of these games a G.



 
Baluder's Gate
 
It’s unfair for me to even attempt to rate this game.  It was given to me as a gift over ten years ago and I can’t remember it to save my life.  The only reason I put it on this list is because my Uncle was the person who gave it to me and he’d probably ask me why it wasn’t on here.  Sorry Eric, I don’t remember anything about this game.


 
Bejeweled  
Puzzle games are good for when I’m bored and can’t find a game I want to play.  They’re even fun to do when you’re playing them on your palm pilot in history class.  I use to pretend I was taking notes on it but was getting murdered at Bejeweled instead.  Bejeweled is one of the better puzzle games I’ve played and I can’t help but wonder if this game founded the, match these colors to get rid of them, type of puzzle.  I give it a G even though I suck at it.




 
Bioshock
Bioshock 2

 
I’ve never been a huge multiplayer person outside of Gears of War and Halo, so I’m pretty appreciative of games like Bioshock that don’t include multiplayer at all.  Why?  I like it because all efforts are focused on the story.  The stories in games are the reason I even play at all. Beneath the center of the ocean lies a fractured community living in the city of Rapture.  This city was created to allow creatively gifted people who don’t like being constrained by the morals of society a place to live and create freely.  Unfortunately a civil war broke out and ravaged the entire underwater utopia, ironically because of some of the freely created products.  Our character finds himself roaming around the city after surviving a plane crash and being guided down via a submarine located in the conveniently placed lighthouse in the middle of the ocean.  This was the first game that I ever played that allowed me to utilize crazy powers from my left hand such as ice, fire, and bees, while at the same time I shot faces with the gun in my right.  Both games really creeped me out and the stories were truly dark, twisted, and epic, however, the second game had a disgraceful multiplayer added to it.  It wasn’t completely crappy, but at the same time I'd get bored with it after thirty minutes and in the end I felt the single player story suffered quite a bit.  Bioshock 1 gets an F; Bioshock 2 gets a G, only because they added a multiplayer to it.  Here is a nice little quote I enjoyed from the creator of Rapture, Andrew Ryan.
"I am Andrew Ryan, and I'm here to ask you a question.  Is a man not entitled to the sweat of his brow? 'No!' says the man in Washington, 'It belongs to the poor.' 'No!' says the man in the Vatican, 'It belongs to God.' 'No!' says the man in Moscow, 'It belongs to everyone.'  I rejected those answers; instead, I chose something different. I chose the impossible.  I chose... Rapture, a city where the artist would not fear the censor, where the scientist would not be bound by petty morality, where the great would not be constrained by the small!  And with the sweat of your brow, Rapture can become your city as well."




Blazing Angels  
I’m not a huge fan of flying games or World War games, but I do have to give props to Blazing Angels for making a game that didn’t really suck.  I know one reader of this blog would disagree, but that’s okay.  I enjoyed the game despite the fact that it made me dizzy and often nauseous because of the upside down flying while chasing an enemy who likes going in circles.  I only played this game once and that’s honestly all its worth.  The story wasn’t really compelling at all and after playing through the entire game, I was tired of flying all together.  It’s a good game, but not a favorite, I give it a G.



Blitz the league
 
I hate this game.  Thanks to EA games buying the rights to be the only company to make an NFL games, NFL Blitz took a blow and instead Midway put this piece of garbage out.  None of the NFL teams are featured in the game (thanks E.A.), a storyline was added, and the violence on the field was blatantly over the top, and not in the cool way the series is known for.  The game was much better when it was over the top goofy and fast paced.  Don’t buy or play this game, ever, you’ll wish you got your time and money back.  Obviously I give this game an S.





Bloodwake  
Bloodwake is a very unique game.  It’s the only game I’ve ever played that features a gunboat as the main battle technique.  It was very hard though and I was never able to complete the game.  Perhaps the reason I never finished the game is because I played it when I was young and impatient.  I did spend a considerable amount of time playing the multiplayer though because I just drove around in a large body of water shooting down all the other boats in my view.  It’s a great game for some mindless fun, but the difficulty (in my case) could have been debatable.  I give it a G.





Borderlands                
For the longest time, it was hard for me to break away from my gaming roots, first person shooters.  Fortunately I began to explore role playing games (RPG) and it’s a fortunate thing I did because I could have missed out on a game that became such a favorite.  The first thing that intrigued me was that the game featured first person shooter elements with RPG elements.  Borderlands placed me on the desolate planet of Pandora as one of four playable fortune seekers hoping to get inside the legendary unopened vault.  Throughout the duration of the game I got to meet several memorable characters including the claptrap, a comedic robot that kept the dialogue entertaining.  In fact, the entire game is very comical with a side of seriousness (but mostly funny).  Granted the story wasn’t the best I’ve seen in video games, especially in an RPG, but going around and killing everything and gathering all the loot my heart can desire made the game fun.  Also, leveling up my character as well as all my weapon classes and my pet bird (I named him Charlie) has made the game a must play again, and again, and again.  It’s one of my favorite games ever, so that’s the rating it get’s, F.








Bourne Conspiracy, The  
Robert Ludlum is a genius.  He wrote the original Bourne trilogy and they became some of my favorite books ever.  Granted his writing style is rather slow and full of detail, which probably puts a lot of people off, but the stories are great.  The movies they were turned into were great as well; even though the plots went in a different direction than the books that inspired them.  The game itself is based off the movies and it was actually a lot more fun that I thought it would have been.  Third person format shooting and melee combat really made this game unique and true to the movies.  I already knew the ending of the game before I even played it, but strolling through and kicking ass using krav maga really made my day.  The game is extremely scripted and probably only good for a onetime play through, but I do recommend it highly and please, for the love of God, don’t take the driving sequence for granted, it was my favorite sequence in the game.  I rate this game G.


Bulletstorm  
I’m almost certain you’ve never played a game quite like Bulletstorm.  Developed by the Epic owned “People Can Fly”, this over the top shooter writes a new chapter in the FPS saga.  There are many different types of shooters and they all mostly focus on the mission at hand as well as              spraying bullets and grenades in everyone’s face that isn’t an ally.  Well, Bulletstorm has the gamer adding skill to their kills, and even rewarding them points for their creativity.  That’s right, instead of running into a room and dominating it with relentless gunfire, I walk into a room and observe the environment.  Why?  Well if I kick that dude into the cactus I could get quite a few points, or if I use my leash to lasso that guy into the air and then shoot his head off with my flare gun, then I’ll be rewarded handsomely.  I could just kick the guy in the balls and then curb stop his head.  Yeah, this sounds over the top and it’s because it is.  Bulletstorm’s over the top game play accompanied by raunchy dialogue really made me wonder if a group of adolescent rejects made the game, but I digress.  If you’re looking for something new, I recommend trying this game.  I’ve beat it at least three times and I’m still not bored of it yet, I rate it F.  The video I’m posting will contain a lot of foul language and possible spoilers; proceed with caution. 






Burnout Revenge
Burnout is a classic and beautiful racing game.  That's all that really needs to be said. Revenge I found to be pretty difficult, but that was like five years ago when I played it last.  Now that I'm older and wiser, I think I'd be able to go back, beat the game, and then go through it again with the awesome fast cars that I unlocked in my first play through.  Genius!  Perhaps the most fun              I've had with the game was with the wreck mode.  Basically, you drive as fast as you can through a certain traffic scenario and try your best to cause the biggest accident possible.  In order to get all the stars for it you must rack up a certain number of dollars in damage.  So getting creative with auto destruction is disturbingly fun. I give this game a G.

Stay tuned for more in the continuation of Part IV.               

Monday, January 2, 2012

What Will the Future Hold

Okay, so I know it’s been close to two months since I last posted and I have a very good reason.  I was working, playing video games, spending time with the family, enjoying the holidays, and enduring a minor case of writer’s block.  Okay, so the last one may not be entirely true.  I have been working on a blog and let me tell you it’s massively long.  It’s the Part IV continuation of “This Gaming Life”.  I’m rather tired of talking about games of the distant past and I’d like to talk about the games that I’m playing now.  Part IV is my way of letting the past stay where it is so I can move forward.

This current post is just a quick update for the three people who read this to know what’s going on with me.  I know it’s been a couple of months since my last post so I decided to take a break from the incredibly long blog I’m working on to tell you what’s been up.  So where do I begin?   Okay how about the part where I’m getting administratively discharged from the military because I cannot pass my physical training (PT) test.  I’m proud that I can honestly say that I did the best I could.  I went down fighting and in the end I only missed passing by two seconds on the 1.5 mile run.  The Air Force has recently changed their requirements for the PT test and I have problem with it.  First off, I only struggled once with the old standards and that was due to my own negligence.  The Air Force tests its members in four separate areas to determine whether or not they’re fit enough to sit at a desk for nine hours a day.  In order to pass you need to get a score of at least 75%.  On top of that, each category has a minimum requirement you must reach in order to pass.  You can do amazing in everything except sit ups and get a final score of 78, which is a passing score, but you still fail because you didn’t do the minimum amount of sit ups required.  How crazy is it that you can reach a passing overall score yet are still deemed unfit to serve your country?

The same concept works for passing all of the minimum requirements and still failing to get a 75%.  It just seems to me that it would make sense to have all the minimum requirements add up to 75 which would make the goals rather easy for people to reach.  I passed all stages of the test and still failed overall by like .6 or .8.  It was a bitter pill for me to swallow, but I had to suck it up and press on because in the end I had left everything out on that track and I couldn’t have asked for more.  You can ask the guy I had pacing me if you want verification.  I’m not going to give you any of his personal information though, but seriously, if he wasn’t there I would have bombed it.  He kept pushing me though.

“Dude, I can’t breathe, I’m going to die”

“You can die after the run!  Let’s go!”

Well I must have been on someone’s good graces because my commander asked me if I wanted to test again.  I said yes.  What else would I say in that situation?  I am on the verge of being deemed a big piece of shit because I suck at running.  It doesn’t matter that I’m a pretty good Airman as far as work goes, if you suck at PT, you’re a dirt bag.      

“Okay, we’ll have you signed up for next Monday.”

What?  That’s only three days between tests.  It’s mandated that you’re supposed to have at least 45 days in between tests for proper rest and rebuilding.  I wasn’t going to turn it down though because I only missed the test by two seconds.  Get me back out there that second day and everything was the same.  I even did two more sit ups for good measure.  When we were out there running, something felt different.  I was more energized and fueled with an abundance of adrenaline that I didn't understand why I failed the last test at all.  I was feeling good about this.  We were actually cruising so fast that had we finished at that pace, it would have been a twelve minute time, a minute and sixteen seconds faster than the last test.  I don’t know what happened though, we started out on the fourth lap and at the end of the first turn I felt myself plunging forward.  I landed on my knees and my face, but I didn’t feel any of it because my stomach sinking was the only thing I could feel.  I wound up finishing the test a whole minute slower than my last time.

Sure the lady running the test told me that I shouldn’t have been testing again so soon, but the commander can make me do whatever he wants me to.  Twice I was doing great and twice I came up short like a total noob.  Perhaps this whole situation is just a blessing in disguise.  If you know me personally, it’s no secret that I don’t really like being in the military.  I can’t stand it and I feel that it’s hindering everything I want to become.  I want to program video games and write novels and game scripts, not sit behind a desk all day copying medical records.  What kind of life is that?  My stripe was taken from me, the fifth test in a row went on my record, and to make matters worse, I was never able to find out whether or not I made my next rank. So now I go to work every day as a five year veteran wearing the same rank as people who have been in for 6 months.  Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be.

So here is what I know.  I’m being discharged most likely within the month.  It’s quite hard to tell exactly when my final day will be because I have yet to be “officially” notified.  I was given a heads up on the final decision though so I’ve already began my preparation.  Months ago I applied for my GI Bill benefits and just recently I submitted my medical records to the VA so I can collect my benefits from them as well.  Everything seems to be falling into place, in a strange kind of way.  Our plan is to have me attend school full time for computer science all while being a stay at home dad.  I’ll have my bachelors near the end of 2012 so it’s not too far off in the future, assuming I’m able to attend school full time.  I should be able to though, there is nothing hindering me.  On top of it, I’ll get to spend more time with my children and work on my book!

I still can’t help but to be nervous though.  I attended a week long course called TAPS, which is designed to assist military members in crossing back over into civilian life.  I found it quite funny that when I signed the documents to join the military I was scared, confused, nervous, and excited all at the same time.  I was given training and everything turned out all right.  Now here I am experiencing all of those same feelings about becoming something I was just nearly six years ago.  A civilian.  It’s what I’ve wanted almost the entire time I’ve been in, but I’m scared.  I didn’t have a wife and two children when I first joined.  How am I supposed to support them now?  Sure my wife works, but I had a housing allowance, food allowance, and free medical care for my entire family while I was serving.  Now I won’t have any of that! 

The life lessons I’ve learned are tough and I hope that in the future I can show my children through the wisdom of these tough lessons, the smart way to tackle the tough road of life that lies ahead of them.  I just hope they’re not as stubborn as me and actually take the advice handed down to them by people who have experienced their own rough journey in this world.

So here we are, at the end of an era and I’d like to say a few things about the military.  Many of you who know me know that it would be unlike me if I weren’t bitching about being in the military.  I’m the first person to admit that I don’t like being controlled.  When you sign that dotted line, you sign your life away.  No longer do you go to work for your nine to five and then forget about work when you’re off.  In the military you’re on the clock night and day, including weekends and holiday vacations.  I was called into work at three in the morning one time just to pee in a cup.  I didn’t want to go into work with the rest of my squadron for a random drug test, but I did because I didn’t want to go to jail.  It’s the minor things like that, that just irritate the shit out of me.  I hate being tasked with twenty different things other than my primary duty and not getting paid more money for it.  I still get paid the same amount no matter how much work gets added onto my plate

I could go on for pages and pages about all the things I despise about the military, but here’s something you should know about me.  I’m a chronic whiny bitch.  I’ve bitched about every single job that I’ve ever had and not once have I really looked at the positive, not until I joined the military.  I may not like the military, but not because of the stupid petty reasons I could list off.  Instead, I don’t like the military because it’s a lifestyle that is not meant for people like me.  I’ve never adapted to the military way of life and it’s ironic to me that I didn’t because I grew up as a military brat!  My dad is retired military, so wouldn’t that mean it should be easy for me to adapt to the same lifestyle I had growing up?  I guess not.  I know people who were born and bred to serve in the military and they gladly place their life on the line for this country and their fellow Americans and wouldn’t dream of any other job.  I wish I could say I was one of those people, but I’m destined for other things. 

My time in the military was far from wasteful and I’ll actually be walking away with a lot of new wisdom that I lacked six years ago.  I’m walking a lot taller than I ever have and I’m a lot more mature than I use to be.  It’s a great honor and privilege to have even served as a member of the world’s greatest military power.  I’ve learned how to be a leader, a follower, a listener, a speaker, a wingman, a father, a husband, and a contributing member of this society.  I’ll never regret the time I’ve spent serving my country and I’m very grateful to have served at all.  The only thing I do regret is the way I’m departing it.  I wish I could have prepared better and maybe allowed myself the chance to get out on my own terms.  But, nevertheless, farewell to the military.  I will not miss you, but I do thank you for the life lessons you have taught me.  Oh, actually, I will miss the free health care and the thirty days a year of paid vacation.  In the words of Mel Gibson and his completely made up character, William Wallace, “FREEDOM!” 

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Blog From Anywhere

The is kind of weird.  I'm sitting on my couch and my computer is so far away, yet I felt like blogging.  My phone has an app for blogger and I'm totally able to write from it.  At the same time it sucks because it makes checking my spelling and grammar difficult as well monitoring the format.


Oh well, we'll make this short and sweet.  I'm a dumbass, this week sucks, and Halo Anniversary comes out soon!  Yay me for blogging on my phone.  Stay tuned for my up coming blog titled,  "My Copacetic Week."


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