Why Mass Effect Andromeda is Trash

Yes, there will be spoilers. Duh

About a month ago I saw a tweet from Bioware stating that they put out their final patch for Mass Effect Andromeda and felt an overwhelming…nothingness. Not long after that a good friend of mine, Zac, had stated that, even though he heard how bad of a game it was, he wanted to try playing Andromeda. This sent me into an outrage so fierce that if you shoved a copy of Mass Effect Andromeda up my ass I’d probably crap out a better game. Honestly, had I written Mass Effect Andromeda myself I could’ve done better than Bioware did. Now I know there are some people out there who actually enjoyed this monstrosity of a game and that’s fine, we’re all entitled to our opinions. So please keep in mind that everything I write about Mass Effect Andromeda is my own personal opinion…that may just happen to be shared by many.

It’s not a secret that I am a huge fan of the Mass Effect franchise. I fell in love from the get go with the story, characters, gameplay, and overall atmosphere. You play as Commander Sheppard who, with all the dialogue options and choices you can make throughout the trilogy, truly becomes a reflection of you as a person. Every character has depth and personality making for an enriching experience each and every time you play through it. The dialogue and story are well written and, although it’s not perfect, you truly feel a sense of urgency and danger. The original Mass Effect trilogy paid so much attention to detail outlining an entire universe to explore and providing in depth histories to cultures of dozens of different species in the galaxy. It was so great to learn about the Rachni Wars, The Genophage, and the First Contact War. These things added so much depth to the story and gave me a real reason to protect the galaxy. Add them together and you have a recipe that defines a Mass Effect game and they are the very reasons why Andromeda fell short of success.

I will say, before I begin my hatefest, that Mass Effect Andromeda improved on combat in such a magnificent way that going through the hundred plus hour play through was at least bearable. Movement around a battlefield is fast and efficient and the mixing and matching of different abilities that can be changed on the fly allows me to experiment as much as I want. Almost every fight I jumped into felt unique based on whom I was fighting and the tools I was using.

It’s unfortunate that the story played out the way it did. Large groups of alien species hopping onto arks to embark on a six hundred year journey to the Andromeda galaxy so that they can start fresh and meet new species. This concept does seem cool but it fails to suck me in. Thousands of Humans, Turians, Asari, Salarians, and Krogan sign up to leave their lives and their loved ones behind on a high-risk journey that may ultimately lead to nothing. I don’t buy it. If you find every single memory sequence you get a cut scene detailing that this expedition was expedited as a safeguard to keep people alive from the Reaper invasion that took place during the events in Mass Effect 3. That is such a heavy decision though and they didn’t seem to think twice about it. Oh welp Sheppard said it’s happening so it has to be true. Sure we can believe since we played as Sheppard, but I’d think these weirdos would be a bit more cautious. It doesn’t help that people don’t seem to care to have left their former lives behind.

Hello people, you just woke up from a six hundred year journey and during your long hibernation in cryo sleep your mom and dad died as did your brothers and sisters and anyone you cared about. The Milky Way galaxy advanced six hundred years into the future as well. What’s to say that technology wasn’t so advanced by the time they reached Andromeda that survivors of the reaper invasion not only managed to fully recover but they also developed a mass relay that could shoot scout teams into the Andromeda galaxy so that they could build a relay on the other end? I selfishly wanted to see how things recovered in the Milky Way, but I understand they wanted to detach from that story. So that’s fine, but still, Andromeda? It’s pretty obvious that the Milky Way wasn’t even fully explored. Why not go into hibernation in unexplored space just in case you needed to run back in the event that the reapers were defeated and then stumble upon new advanced life that way? I don’t know, just a thought.

That’s my own personal issues with the set up of the story and not something I think that takes away from Andromeda. The whole story of finding a place to settle so that food can be harvested and that the new Citadel, dubbed Nexus, could begin to thrive. But during their journey there this dark matter, called the Scourge, that came in and messed everything up and you, the Pathfinder (instead of Spectre), must find a way to defeat The Kett, a new species (out of two) hell bent on trying to wipe you out. Seriously, only two new alien races? While the Milky Way was packed with life this place is a ghost town. You’re stuck with all the same old races here with nothing new to learn about them. We could’ve stayed in the Milky Way for that! The Kett are the primary enemies but there are also some annoying Milky Way rebels that fled the Nexus when things didn’t go as planned. Rather than sticking together, the visitors from the Milky Way remain fractured. I mean who the hell screened these people to go on this mission? These people traveled six hundred years so that xenophobic behavior, rebellious outbreaks, and violence against each other can just resume. Same shit, different galaxy.

The Angara is the other new alien race you meet and they’re friendly. So friendly, in fact, that they immediately trust you. Despite having made the mistake of trusting the Kett and then getting betrayed by them. You don’t have to do anything to be able to walk freely into their city after your initial contact. Sure some Angaran hassle you because of what happened with the Kett, but most of them are so excited and happy to know you! I call bullshit. It would’ve been much more interesting to actually earn the trust of the Angaran people. The lack of tension between the Angaran and the Milky Way visitors is almost nonexistent making their friendship feel faked. You literally just met a new alien race and you’re acting like old drinking buddies? Get real Andromeda.   

The story itself is a giant web of plot holes and things that just don’t seem natural to me. For example, why did Ryder’s dad just go off and die? One, he wasn’t built up enough as a character to really be a martyr. Two, they couldn’t take turns breathing the oxygen? Also, Ryder is clearly unfit to be the Pathfinder, so if one of them had to die, why not kid Ryder? Sheppard had to earn his title; Ryder did nothing to be promoted to the most important person on this mission. Hell Cora was skipped over due to nepotism and it just doesn’t make sense. Also, why weren’t there safety precautions put into place to protect the Arks from running into space shit? I mean our handy dandy AI, SAM, that assists us all through the game couldn’t be bothered to watch over the damn ship? Also, all that crap you settled in Mass Effect 3 means fuck all! Genophage has been cured…except for the Krogan who came with us. This last one isn’t much of a plot hole, but it can be annoying watching a Krogan dude complaining about something that was cured six hundred years ago.

To add insult to injury, the horrendous dialogue makes for such an unbearable experience. Everything that comes out of Pee Bee’s mouth is trash and everything else that is said by anyone feels fake, forced, and just outright dumb. “Oh he’s pissed off…probably because I shot him in the face.” Yeah that’s an actual line of dialogue at the very beginning of the game. Does anyone need to see female Ryder’s attempt to hit on what’s her face in the cockpit? Horrendous. Dialogue is meant to drive the story forward and Andromeda treats it like it’s half priced drink night at your local improve club. Not all of the dialogue falls flat, but most of it does and it’s enough to truly take away immersion and the ability to even care about what’s happening.

The planets in Andromeda are extremely large with tons of opportunity to explore. However, they’re filled with a lot of nonsensical and boring side quests that quickly grow repetitive and boring. It’s quite a shame because the graphics on some of these planets are truly amazing to look at. But going outside of the primary and loyalty missions left me with an extremely forgettable experience.

Space exploration has been gutted. I don’t think they ever truly nailed space exploration in the original trilogy, but they made leaps and bounds to at least try. Here in Andromeda it’s been completely stripped down. You can explore every system rather quickly and may walk away with some crafting supplies or credits, nothing more. But there really isn’t any reason to explore. You can’t land on random planets and do miscellaneous quests you didn’t even know existed. I mean we’re in a new effing galaxy and we can’t even explore these random planets? Such a wasted opportunity here.

So let’s add this all together. We have a story that is littered with plot holes. We have dialogue that is so horrible that it makes getting to know the other characters in the game a chore. Hell they’re forgettable too. I didn’t care about any of them. I can’t even remember most of their names. The side missions are complete dog shit, I spent the whole game hunting down supplies so that the crew could have a movie night near the end of the game…and the mission only consisted of me traveling to a place and buying something. Then wait seven hours for the next part of the mission to become available. The actual movie itself was so corny and cringe worthy that I almost gagged and vomited at the same time. Gavomitted. The planets are large and mostly empty and the remaining galaxy is devoid of any true exploration. Finally you only get to meet two new alien species, one that is trying to annihilate you and the other that is moderately interesting to learn about, if you care to do the side quests needed in order to learn about them.

So there you have it, that is why I hate Mass Effect Andromeda. Feel free to disagree with me and tell me what you liked about it or feel free to give me more reasons why you disliked it. As always check me out on Twitch at twitch.tv/halotitan and please message me with any blog ideas you have for the future. Happy gaming.