The Absence of Sleep = This

It’s Sunday night and I’m sitting here at my computer just thinking about life.  I can’t seem to get the image of shooting multiple tangos and their pet dogs out of my head.  Perhaps it has something to do with playing Modern Warfare 3 like literally five minutes ago.  I’m restless though and I don’t know what to do with myself.  I drank two cups of coffee because I was working on my homework, but since the school’s web page was acting a fool, I decided to get on and play games instead.  Oh, and by decided, I mean dragged there against my will because I think Call of Duty sucks the way your finger slipping through the toilet paper as you wipe sucks.  Well let’s be honest, even if the school’s website wasn’t down, I would have wound up on my Xbox anyway, although I probably would have been playing The Elder Scrolls: Skyrim instead.  As a video game developer in training (I made that up myself), I’ve come to the conclusion that I want to develop massive role playing games like Skyrim.  The writing in the game is extremely vast and very reminiscent to the way Mass Effect is (everything and everyone having a story).  However, I think the first Elder Scrolls game came out before Bioware was even a company (the creators of Mass Effect).  Every person in the game seems to have their own story, and unlike Mass Effect, you can kill them if you want to.

“What can you tell me about Skyrim?”

“Oh, it’s big and it has people that live there.”

*Pulls out sword and kills to death for giving a stupid answer*

That’s not a real scene from the game, but if I had a say in the script, it would have been.  It’s just too bad that Skyrim is made up of a civilization built on petty morals that disallow murder.  So if I ever go on a killing spree, you can reference this article ha-ha, I’m just kidding.  Or am I?  Back to Modern Warfare.  Actually, no, I don’t want to talk about that game.  It doesn’t matter that I did actually have fun playing it tonight.  I’m dead set on disagreeing that these games are actually entertaining considering they re-release the same thing every year with a new mediocre (at best) plot and a few new modes to try out.  It’s like getting kicked in the balls once a year, except every year it’s something different.  Last year it was a flying horse that caught me on the way to the bathroom and this year it was a midget who jumped out of my trash can. 

I can’t even use that “every year” excuse to not like it anymore.  My favorite game of all time, Halo, has transformed into the same type of cash cow.  It doesn’t matter if you package your own shit and stamp the Halo logo on it (totally stole that from Tommy Boy), people will throw away their money on it (guilty as charged).  Hell I’m one of those people who gets all excited like a bitch in heat if the words “new Halo” are uttered by any reliable source.  It’s a great marketing strategy if you take into consideration that the game industry is too fearful of creating something new and innovative because the public may not like it at all.  Hell, selling games at sixty dollars a pop is a huge risk to place on the table if you’re not certain people will like it or not.  I respect Remedy for creating something new with Alan Wake because it isn't the normal FPS, RPG, RTS, blah blah blah that I’m use to now.  It’s just a shame that the game didn’t sell as well as it should have, in my opinion anyway.  It seems now that ensuring a profit is as easy as recreating the same game in a different manner, stamping the iconic logo on the box, and then doing nothing but rinse and repeat until infinity.  If you don’t think that’s happening, take a look at some of your favorite titles (even the Elder Scrolls).  Also, check out this article to see an in depth description written by a famous dude. 

It’s something that I do think about though because I’m on my out of the military and heading in the direction of being a part of the gaming industry.  I have the opportunity to create something new and exciting, but will people notice?  Too many times I’ve seen great games get over shadowed by familiar titles.  Dead Island, for example, was drowned by the overwhelming success of Gears of War, Saints Row, Elder Scrolls, Call of Duty, and Assassin’s Creed.  Of course, releasing the game less than a month before a major title hit the market wasn’t the best strategy in the world.  Even more so, if I do create a successful title that millions of people love, how do I face the dilemma of creating a sequel to ensure future sales or pressing forward onto something new because I don’t want to be remembered for creating just one thing?  I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it, but I do know that one day I will reach it because I’m meant to be a developer the way Bruce Willis was not meant to be a singer.  I’m meant to be a developer the way Ryan Leaf wasn’t meant to be in the NFL.  I’m meant to be a dev…never mind, that could go on all night.   

Well I have nothing left to say.  I suppose I can lay out my plans for the future of this blog.  This Gaming Life (after I’m done with part IV) will become the place where I talk about and review games.  If you can help me think of a nifty title to place the game reviews under, then I’ll keep TGL to game chatter only.  Titles like “Titan’s Kick Ass Review,” or something totally boss would suffice.  Just leave your suggestions in the comments section (20 bucks I get no more than one reply).  Also, I plan on working on my novel more and I intend to keep the four of you updated on its progress.  Okay, the coffee has worn off and I’m going to bed. 

P.S. Writing later at night when everyone is sleeping is the way to go.  Oh, and the first three words of this article reminds me of the gayest song ever.  Which I suppose makes me a tad gay for knowing it right?  Watch it.  Love it. 

Cake Vs Pie

“What?  You play the Xbox?  You should be slapped off that chair and land on your stomach so the Gods of gaming can sodomize you with a Playstation three controller to teach you a life lesson about what a piece of shit you are.”

Competition fuels this country.  Competition fuels the economy.  Competition has created millions of douche bags who’ve abandoned all self worth for the idea that they’re elitist because of the trashy things that they buy.  I’m a firm believer that the more competitive the consumers are, the better product the companies will supply.  So who wins in the proverbial battle of cake vs. pie (pie)?  The consumer does.  However, it turns many consumers into self destructive and over analytical tools who troll the internet and the real world with their bias ways.  Let me go ahead and share some experiences I’ve had in the past.

Amazon Kindle VS Barnes & Noble Nook:

With all products, it should be known that the value people hold them at boils down to personal opinion.  The competition is really between two companies that sell a product that basically do the same thing, only with different perks.  One company is going to have a perk that appeases you more than the other, whereas the other company has a perk that attracts other people.  Think of it as choosing an escort from company A because she has bigger boobs while your friend picks the girl from company B because she has a bigger penis.  With that analogy in mind, the consumer douche baggery is born. 

It was the final day of training I had to go through on my second TDY and the woman sitting two seats to my right had her nose buried in a book.  Actually it was buried into the Nook, made by Barnes & Noble, and the cover she had around it made it look like a real book.  I asked her about it and she said that she really enjoyed reading thousands of books on it.  I highly doubt she had read that many books on it, but I took the hint that she was trying to pass, that the mini book reading computer could hold a lot of electronic novels. 

“Hey, that’s pretty cool.  I was looking into getting one of them Kindles from Amazon.”  Oh no I didn’t (she’s black, so I imagine that’s how she would have said it).  I didn’t just use the K word in front of a Nook user did I?  I may as well have dropped the N bomb.  Even that tongue lashing would have been less severe than the grueling punishment she put me through as to why I shouldn’t get a Kindle.

“It’s from Amazon, it doesn’t have color, you can’t read your newspaper in color, and this Nook came in the color I wanted, and it’s better because I’m a flaming troll who likes it better and what I say is right.”  Obviously exaggerated.  But seriously, most of it was about colors.

“Um, okay.  I’ll have to weigh my options.  Have you owned or at least used a Kindle before?”

“No, but I don’t need to, to know that it sucks.”

Oh really?  I’d say that statement is true when you’re asked the question, “have you ever been punched in the face by Mike Tyson?”  You can’t say that the Kindle sucks when you’ve never took the driver’s seat to one before.  So basically what I’ve gathered from that one sided argument is that you immediately fell in love with the Nook and nothing can ever possibly compete with its unimaginable book reading power.  In other words, it popped your ereader cherry and you want to marry it. 

“Oh and honey, you can play all the games you want on it and you can even watch movies.”  No shit!  How can you play Halo on that?  Do you have to use your telekinesis to make Master Chief move around and shoot aliens in the face?  Regardless of how cool it looks, I’d rather spend my money on an Ipad if I wanted a machine to do all that crap.  I wanted an ereader and thanks to this Nookie (that’s what I’m calling their extreme fans), I decided to pick a Kindle. 

Playstaion 3 VS Xbox 360

Okay, so there is a small, and I mean extremely tiny, chance that I’m an Xbox fanboy.  It wasn’t really all like that though because I did own a Playstation at one time in my life.  Of course that’s just as lame an excuse as saying that you’re not racist because you’re President is black, take that Mel Gibson.  In all seriousness though, I never really had beef with other consoles.  If I was a true console bigot I would have ditched those mediocre Nintendo consoles as well as the much superior PC games long time ago.  It wasn’t until I was talking to a friend about playing games and stuff and I happened to make the same mistake that I did with the Nookie chick.  I dropped the X bomb.  No doubt saying that alone sparked the quote at the beginning of today’s post. 

What better way to tell someone that the console they like is inferior to their choice by telling them that the God of gaming (which I’m assuming is Kratos from the popular PS3 exclusive, God of War) will shove a controller up their ass?  Ever since that day I seemed to notice more and more playstation people calling me a flaming ass hat because I liked something different. 

“Dude, we have Grand Theft Auto and Japanese role playing games.” 

“Yeah, well I have Halo, enough said.”  Besides, I’d rather play a game of hit for hit with the weakest kid I know than to sit there and suffer from the brutally boring battles in a JRPG.

It’s a sad story because I really don’t have any issues with the Playstation other than the fact that the fanboys get all psycho emo on me if my opinion meets their opposition.  Oh, I guess it could also be that Sony, the creators of the PS, has made themselves out to be the kingpins of the game world and continue to verbally abuse the competition, even though their current console has been playing the power bottom since the day it came out.  They even had a company that made a game called “Killzone (which I’m sure you’ve never heard of) and decided to dub it the Halo killer.  The only killing it did was to the fanbase of the PS.  I actually did play that game and I can honestly say that making snow angles in a blizzard whilst wearing my birthday suit sucked less.  Lesson learned guys.  Don’t ever create a product for the sole purpose of “killing” an already successful one.

In my opinion, all the consoles out on the market target different audiences and I think the world as a whole wins that battle.  But to me, it’s unfortunate that I’ve never purchased a Playstation so I could play its mediocre exclusives that are all totally beneath the worst Xbox exclusive…get it?

Apple VS Microsoft…I think

I’m not really sure who Apple is battling and I’m not even sure that Apple is out to even battle anyone.  They seem to be on their own level of development and they’ve proved to be extremely successful.  There’s one problem though.  The products they create turn their faithful diehards into monumental pieces of shit that people hate more than Casey Anthony.  Casey Anthony is absolutely loathed by the way, in case you didn’t get how much these fucking poo pushers are hated.  Perhaps I’m the only who hates them, who am I to speak for everyone?  I once worked with a group of people that utterly convinced me that I don’t care for Apple. 

These people were always going around and telling me that their Mac computers are much superior to the lame old PC.  Then they’d bash Microsoft for an hour.  I’m confused now.  You say that they’re better than the PC, but then talk about how Microsoft ruined the world.  I’m no genius here, but doesn’t Microsoft develop software FOR computers, rather than build the computers themselves?  Doesn’t Microsoft have software that can be used on a Mac?  If that’s the case, shouldn’t you be having a hate spree on HP and Dell?

“Everyone likes the Mac much better, just ask anyone.”  I did, and most people told me they like their PC better because it talked to them like human beings (crazy feat).  The Mac was built with the average idiot in mind.  They’re simpler to use and they cost a shit load of money, hence the average idiot must have it.  I don’t think they’re all idiots, just the ignorant ones who try to tell other people that they’re stupid and wrong because they don’t succumb to the lonely wastelands of Mac world.

“My Mac is better because I don’t get viruses.”  Um, well I don’t know how much I believe that statement.  You literally don’t have any viruses to look out for?  I suppose it makes sense though.  A vast majority of America uses PC.  Your workplace probably has them, your schools, and your home.  They’re cheap and affordable.  That’s a product that the average American can afford.  Macs cost way more than they should and all so they can do the same damn thing a PC does (surf porn on the internet).  So with more people using PC, it would make sense to write viruses for that rather than the Mac.  Think of it this way, why would a terrorist (a.k.a the virus) attack a small city (Mac), when they could take out more people in a much larger city (PC). 

Here’s the kicker though, the one statement that was passed my way that made me never want to buy an Apple product.

“PC’s are for fat gamer slobs who sit around and do nothing.  Macs are for sophisticated coffee drinkers who dwell at Starbucks while they type away on their paper thin laptop.”  Did you hear that America, we’re all fat gamer slobs?  I was so offended that I told her to shut her mouth and make my sandwich before I blackened her other eye.  Okay I didn’t say that, but I wanted to.  Also, what’s so great about sitting in a coffee shop with a bunch of pompous jerks who think they’re God’s gift to the world?  I have a coffee pot at home and a couch that is much more comfortable than anything Starbucks can offer. 

Since Apple really isn’t at war with Microsoft I should have titled this part, “Apple Vs the world” because they have a wide range of products that bring out the worst in people.  The Ipod is so much cooler than the Zune.  I disagree, but America doesn’t (RIP Zune).  I still catch a ton of crap for using a Zune.  What’s a Zune?  Why not get an Ipod?  Um, because they put a new one out every week and it’s enough to make me want to gouge my eye balls out with a plastic spoon.

“Hey I got an Iphone 4!”

“Dude, that was like so yesterday bro.  The new Iphone 789512 came out today.”

The battle rages on with the Iphone Vs every other phone ever made and even more so with the Ipad versus every other tablet.  As far as the company goes, they’re making innovative things and with that, they inspire other great companies to follow suit.  They’ve made the best Ipod on the market, the best tablet (I think) and one of the best phones.  Even more so, they were ahead of the game before anyone else could even imagine it.  So for that I can respect them, but I don’t respect the people who are much  like a former (take note at that word ‘former’) high school mate of mine who so graciously posted on Facebook the following.

“Going from my Mac book at home to my Mac computer at work all while using my Ipod, Iphone, and Ipad, has me enjoying life in my elitist Apple bubble.”  Wow.  Elitist?  This chick actually thinks she’s “elite” because she spends ridiculously large amounts of money on products that were specifically built with non computer savvy people in mind.  Congratulations on the irony, because only computer savvy people can be elitist.  I actually only think companies and football teams can be elite, not individual money wasters.

“Hey I bought the Titanic!”

“Why? How?”

“To prove to the world that they’re a bunch of noobs who don’t spend their money on useless shit.”

In closing I would like to say that I don’t have any personal beef with the Nook, the PS3, or Apple.  In fact, I’m hoping one day I could get my own Ipod, Ipad, Iphone, Icarly, Imsofuckingsickofthesenamesgetoveritalready.  There are tons of battles like this out there and the only advice I can offer anyone is to not get caught up in it.  Your opinion is the right one to you and that’s all that matters, right?

This Gaming Life Part IV: Moving Forward (C-F)

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Key:      F=Favorite     G=Good      M=Meh      S=Sucked

C.
 
Call of Duty 2 F
Call of Duty 3 S
Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare F
Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2 G
Call of Duty Black Ops G  
I had really hoped that I could skip Call of Duty period and just never talk about it.  I have a love hate with this series, mostly because the companies that make the game are owned by Activision, the Satan of Gaming.  That’s a different story in itself, but the fact that Call of Duty has a new title every single year is a tad annoying as well.  I really enjoyed Call of Duty 2, hated the 3^rd, and fell in love with the Modern Warfare series.  Call of Duty Black Ops was pretty decent as well; however I do have to say that Call of Duty lacks a ton of creative story writing.  Instead, the games tend to focus on awesome action sequences and fighting.  There is never a dull moment when fighting through the single player portion of the game, so a mediocre story can easily slide on by.  Then there’s multiplayer.  I don’t have much to say because I suck so bad at it that I never bother to play it longer than twenty minutes.  Perhaps I’m reaching that gaming age where I hate multiplayer or maybe it really does suck and people don’t want to admit it.  Regardless of the gameplay, I hate the annual releases.  I feel like Call of Duty is the video game version of candy corn.  I always say I won’t buy the new COD game coming out, but low and behold, I always do.  Thanks for the love hate you jerks.  I rated the games next to their titles above. 

Cars  
I’m what you would call an achievement whore.  I hunt achievements down like a fat kid raiding the fridge.  I did have a time in my gaming past where I would play any game for achievements rather than for fun.  Cars was one of the games I played because it had an easy achievement list.  To my surprise, I actually didn’t think this game was that bad.  The driving was very smooth, the missions very easy, and I even got to go tractor tipping.  In the end I got all of the achievements and had a little bit of fun as well.  Unfortunately, I rated the game M because it was too simple and obviously built for people much younger than me, age wise, not maturity wise. 




Chessmaster Live  
Chess is my favorite board game.  I only wish I was better at it!  Playing this game on an electronic board versus a computer player is actually pretty lame.  Not once have I been gratified from besting a computer player and whenever I play online I get my ass kicked.  Strategy is not one of my strong points, but since I’d rather play a game like this against people I actually know (because they suck), I give this game an M.

Civilization Revolution  
I do enjoy a fun real time strategy game like Age of Empires or Rise of Nations, but I enjoy them on the computer.  That's where an RTS belongs in my opinion because when playing them on a console, I feel constricted.  I will say that out of all of the RTS games I've played on my Xbox, Civilization Revolution has probably been the best.  It's quite an enjoyable game and I love building my cities and watching them grow and grow into something amazing.  I also like the fact that I can win in other ways rather than just killing off all of the enemies.  Why spend eternity as one entity when you can watch everyone else suffer as your nation’s bitch?  This is a game I would buy for the Xbox for those times when I don't really know what I'm in the mood to play.  I rate this game G.

Comix Zone  
This game takes me way back to the Sega where the graphics were mediocre and the game play all too simple.  Comix Zone really stood out at that time as a creative loner with the unique way it took me into a comic book.  I literally had to play my way through the pages of a comic book.  However, because I was like freaking ten years old and I completely sucked at this game, I never got too far.  I'd always wind up dying at the same part and having to start the entire game over.  Was the “saved game” feature not created yet?  I eventually never played the game ever again which is the reason I give it an M rating.  Perhaps I should download it off of the Xbox Live Marketplace and give it another go round.

Crackdown

Branching off of other successful sandbox games such as Grand Theft Auto and Saints Row, Crackdown takes a different direction.  The games I just named typically feature a thug working his way up the ladder in a city polluted by organized crime.  In Crackdown, we play as a super cop hell bent on taking out organized crime units.  It was a decent story, even if it was extremely short lived.  The game play wasn't the best I've seen either, but I did enjoy how over the top it was.  Jumping to extreme heights, kicking cars so hard it sends them flying, and picking up fallen foes and throwing them at other people was all very entertaining.  Characters are also able to climb the highest buildings in the featured city.  This was neat because I could exercise my need for adventurous exploration by focusing on collecting orbs hidden all over the city.  This feature created a ton of mindless fun for me and I honestly spent more time screwing off than I did on the main focus.  It's a shame the story wasn't a lot better, but because of the mindless, orb collecting fun, and the quirky over the top game play, I rated this game G.

Crimson Skies: High Road to Revenge   
The list of games I've never completed seems to continually grow and I have a lot of catching up to do.  At the top of my catch up list rests Crimson Skies: High Road to Revenge.  I wish I could tell you about the story more than what I know, which is that it takes place in the 1930's and air travel is very popular.  I spent a majority of my time on this game playing multiplayer on Xbox Live, which was still very new to me at that time.  I was also still more into shooters than anything else, but the idea of playing people online turned on a hunger for competition.  Being one of the first flight sim games I've ever played (other than Star Fox); I would fly around American skylines and shoot other people out of the air.  I was attracted to how simple and smooth the flying was as well the colorful and cartoonish graphics, making the fact that I sucked that much easier to deal with.  With the many choices of planes to choose from along with the addicting online game play has made this game an unforgettable experience.  I rate it F.

CSI Hard evidence

Here is another victim to my achievement high.  It was ranked as a pretty easy game to net 1000 points to my score and that rank didn't lie.  The game sucked though and it felt nothing like the TV show.  The research difficulty setting was set to “retarded” and searching for clues was as simple as being placed in a small square room with the only objects in sight being the clues you need to “search” for.  I swear my three month old son could conquer this game effortlessly.  The graphics looked like the game was made ten years ago, and even if it had been, it would have been just as big a failure as it is today.  I have yet to even attempt the other games released in the series and unless I'm extremely desperate for easy achievements, I doubt I ever will.  Capital S for super sucky.

D.


Dance central
I don't know that it's really fair that I give this game such a crappy rating, but like I said, at the beginning, it’s based on my opinion.  I'm a top heavy, wide shoulder white male that is attracted to women, so I obviously can't dance.  I don't know that I even want to know how to dance if the only songs available to jive to are crappy bubble gum garbage hits that are played on the radio (Lady Goo Goo for the loss).  Pop in some disco and you may get a better rating from me because I've always wanted to dance like Travolta.  The game just seems to require way too much work.  First, you need to go through and learn all the moves, and then after an hour of repetitive practice, you can go do the whole dance and suck at it.  Maybe it wouldn’t be too bad if all the songs consisted of the same moves, but they don’t.  You have to learn the moves for each and every song.  That was my experience and I really didn't have any fun at all.  My sister got a pretty good kick out of it though, must pay off to be a dancer.  I give the game the same rating it gave me, S.



Dash of Destruction  
A few years ago, Doritos started having these contests where people would pitch their ideas for a game and the winner would get to have their fantasy become a reality.  Dash of Destruction was the first Doritos game I played and it wasn't too terrible.  The game is played in one of two perspectives.  In the first perspective, the player is controlling the Doritos car and must deliver the tasty chips to the given locations all while avoiding getting eaten by a Doritos addicted T-Rex.  The other perspective has the player controlling the T-Rex while he roams the city and devours any and all Doritos cars.  Who knew delivering chips would rate among the most dangerous jobs?  The game was fun for about five cheesy minutes; Pun totally intended.  I give the game an M.

Dead Island
 
This is one of quite a few games that I am currently playing through and I freaking love it.  It mixes some of my favorite elements together such as RPG, first person view, melee weapons, and ZOMBIES!  That's right, a zombie RPG is on the market, how cool is that?  At first I was thinking the game would be extremely heavy on the shooting like Left 4 Dead, but it's not.  I think it's more realistic in the sense that 90% of the fighting taking place is through melee.  The choices of melee weapons differ due to the surroundings and they are items that would most likely wind up getting used in a real outbreak.  You can play as one of four survivors, all of whom apparently can't be turn into zombies.  They’re goal is to try to help everyone out with the dangerous stuff because they can literally go out and battle these demon spawns without the worry of becoming infected.  The game really reaches out to me because it combines features from Fallout 3 (zooming in on the character who is talking to you), Dead Rising 2 (being able to custom make weapons, baseball bat with nails anyone?), and Borderlands (the leveling system and the pick and choose layout of the missions prior to running out and accomplishing them, which I suppose can be related to Fallout as well).  I may or may not give a full review on the game whenever I'm able to finish it, but for now I love it enough to grant it an F.  Oh side note, I love the opening video.

Dead or Alive M
Dead or Alive 2 S
Dead or Alive 3 G
Dead or Alive 4 S  
I went through a stage in gaming where I loved nothing more than fighting games.  Mortal Kombat is easily my favorite, but Dead or Alive 3 came close.  Eventually I played Dead or Alive one and two when they were released in a dual pack (dubbed DoA Ultimate) and I was extremely unimpressed.  I'm not sure if it was because I was use to the much newer version or what, but I didn't like them.  The third game was pretty cool though and I really enjoyed fighting on environments that changed as the battle ensued.  Over time the game would get boring, but that's why I'd play Mortal Kombat until that got boring and just repeat the cycle.  Also, being able to go back and watch the endings at anytime in the theater was pretty cool.  I especially like the one where the girl was naked.  Leave me alone, I was like 16.  It was Dead or Alive 4 that killed it for me.  I suppose I realized that every DoA game I've played doesn't require any skill at all.  I typically just button mashed, unlike Mortal Kombat where I knew everyone's specific combo moves.  That, and the computer cheated and beat me all the time and that made me really sad.  The fourth game was absolutely frustrating beyond belief and I honestly couldn't take it anymore.  I rated the games next to their titles above.



Dead Rising
 
I'd love to tell you everything about this game, but I never got far enough to even know much about it other than it directly reminded me of Dawn of the Dead.  I know that I find myself stuck in a mall that is overrun with zombies and I spend a lot of time going out and looking for survivors and taking pictures of the grotesque scenery.  The most fun I had with the game was rolling bowling balls at the slow moving zombies and doing funny things like putting masks on their faces.  The game was goofy enough for me to like, but with limited time to play it, being borrowed from a friend in tech school, I never did finish it.  I can say that from what I did play, the game seemed very redundant in a boring way and because of that I give the game a G rather than an F.




Defense Grid
  I love tower defense games.  A tower defense game places the gamer in a setting where he needs to construct weapon towers as defense to something.  Defense Grid has the player defending energy from invading Aliens and it features dozens of maps to play on. Each level progressively gets more difficult and challenging.  Placing the right towers in the right places is very fulfilling when it pays off overall.  But what's the difference in tower defense games?  Nothing, they seem to be the same story with different methods of death, but that doesn't stop them from being fun.  This particular one gets a G.




Diablo II  
It's been at least ten years since I've last played this game and when I was playing it I didn't even know what was going on.  I just remember how much I loved using my potions and running around killing bad guys so I could loot them for awesome new weapons and armor.  Diablo III will be coming out soon though so I'm hoping to get back into the action with a more lucid view on things.  I rate this blurry memory, G.







Doritos Crash Course  
Doritos does it again, another free game offered on Xbox Live.  This game was much more fun than Dash of Destruction though.  Have you ever watched those crazy Japanese shows, which have now been recreated in America, where people run through these crazy obstacles and jumps in order to be the fasted contestant?  Well that's exactly what crash course is.  Using your Xbox Avatar, you run through a series of obstacles attempting to obtain a gold medal.  This game has provided some of the most stupid fun I've had in a while.  Try it friends, it's totally free and I rate it G.  



Donkey Kong (original)  
I'm sorry, but maybe it's because I enjoy modern games much more than the classics that makes me dislike this game.  Climbing ladders and avoiding lame obstacles to rescue a princess from a giant ape is not how I like to get my game on.  Besides, the hairy bastard can't win without cheating.  I hate him and his conniving ways.  This game SUCKS!





Donkey Kong Country (Super Nintendo)  
Now here is a Donkey Kong game that doesn't suck.  Using the typical side scroll view used on older systems, we get to play as Donkey Kong as he hunts down his missing horde of bananas.  I like this game way better than Mario because the obstacles are more fun (in my opinion) and the reward is much sweeter.  You may say, hey Cody, Mario gets the girl.  I say, Mario gets a lousy kiss before the dumb chick gets kidnapped again and he's on another mission to find her.  At lease Donkey Kong can gorge himself on bananas and if they get stolen again, who cares.  He could just save himself a trip and hit up a Super Wal-Mart.  I've beat this game like fifty times, I think it deserves an F.


Duck Hunt  
Seriously, how cool was Duck Hunt?  You could point your plastic gun towards the TV and shoot the ridiculously fake looking birds.  Does gaming get better than that?  Well yeah it does actually, but back in the day it would have kicked the snot out of the Wii.  Ha, actually it still does beat the Wii because it was actually fun.  I don't really have a complaint other than the fact that I can't shoot the damn dog for laughing at me when I miss a bird, not even if I put the gun right on the TV screen.  F, hands down.

E.  
I haven't played one game in my entire life that starts with an E.  What the hell is wrong with me? Has there even been a game made that starts with an E? If it's E.T I'm not playing it.  Oh wait, I actually have three games on my shelf that start with an E, but I have yet to play.  Elder Scrolls IV and V as well as Enslaved: Odyssey to the west.  Stay tuned for their reviews, if I care to do them.
 


F.
 

Fable II
Fable III The RPG's I play are a lot more futuristic and crazy, and I typically avoid that crazy fantasy stuff.  I'd say Diablo is the only game that I've ever played where I use potions and fight the weird creatures of the earth.  That is until Fable came out and showed me that it's okay to play games that have the words “troll” and “magic” without looking like a giant dork.  To me, Fable is extremely unique.  Many games do it now, but Fable really mastered the decision engine, in my opinion.  Every choice I make in the game may come at a consequence.  Save the many, but your family dies type of decisions.  Also throughout the game every decision has an effect on whether or not my character is good or evil.  These types of moral decisions really made the game fun as well wielding a giant sword and shooting fireballs at people.  I'm a Fable fan for sure and both the second and third games get an F rating.  I should really look into playing the first one though.

Fallout 3

I can't give a proper rating on this game because I got three hours in and realized that I'd probably spend the rest of my life playing it.  Instead I decided to finish some of the other games I own but haven’t completed.  That mission is actually still in progress.  Fallout, I shall see you soon!  For now, you get an F.

                                            





                                                                                                                                     

Feeding Frenzy
Feeding Frenzy 2

What better way to teach children how the food chain really works.  It's one fish eating smaller fish, and so on and so forth.  I basically just described both games to you.  You start off small time, eating small fish until you're fully grown and all the while you're avoiding getting eaten by bigger fish.  After a good series of that you move on to play as the fish that was formerly trying to eat you.  Eventually you make your way all the way up to a killer whale and you get to totally dominate everyone.  It's fun; just make sure you watch out for those fishermen dropping mines because that stuff will mess you up.  Both games get a G.

Fight Night Round 3

I can't remember the name of the one boxing game I played decades ago, but I can remember it being Mike Tyson and Evader Holyfield squaring up and punching their terribly rendered faces into terribly rendered pulps.  That was the last time I played a boxing game until Fight Night Round 3 came out.  What happened to the first two games?  I missed them, oh well.  It really felt good to dodge punches and throw some of my own at the same time.  It really gave a sense of realness to the game that I hadn’t experienced playing that old school mess.  I played the game non-stop because it had an easy achievement list and with that, I got burned out extremely quick.  In fact, the game is terribly redundant and I mean the bad kind.  Maybe I could have avoided this outcome had I taken my time progressing through the game, but I didn’t.  If the fun didn't run out I'd rate this game much higher, but instead it gets an M. 

Force Unleashed, The
I do enjoy Star Wars games, but it feels like the developers gave up on making decent plots.  Sure, we already think the movies are great so why not use the name to milk more money from the faithful diehards.  As Darth Vader's apprentice, we find ourselves roaming around and hunting down remaining Jedi in preparation to assassinate the Emperor.  Of course the story has twists and turns and the same old boring expectations that any popular movie based game has, but being able to kick ass with a light saber and use the force to throw our enemies across the map is so entertaining that I'd play the game again just for that experience.  In fact, I’d play any Star Wars game for that experience no matter how lame the story is.  I give this game a G.

Frontlines Fuels of War

Panic and war break out when the world is enduring a fuel crisis.  You commandeer the role of a member of The Stray Dogs, a company sent to spearhead assaults from the games antagonist.  I did enjoy this modern FPS even though I tend to be anti-modern shooters.  Modern shooters all feel the same to me and because of that, they present themselves as being redundant and boring.  This game, though, flows very smoothly as far as the combat goes and I was as also able to drive around deadly RC vehicles to covertly take out the enemy.  Yeah, okay, that definitely curbs my negativity towards the genre.  I thoroughly enjoy games that allow me to get creative with my destruction.  The thing I liked most about Frontlines was the way it was played.  Online and single player followed the same format, territories.  There are a certain number of checkpoints on a map; the goal is to control all of them, making it a tough feat for both sides to progress.  It’s such a satisfying feat being able to best the other team in a battle of wits for the land you’re fighting on, who cares if the difficulty is set to easy?  Frontlines gets an easy F.

Fuzion Frenzy F

Fuzion Frenzy 2 S  
I was introduced to this game by playing Halo.  It was new to me at the time, but Halo actually had demos on the game disc and Fuzion Frenzy was one of them.  When we were a tad tired from playing Halo, we would retreat to this demo to enjoy one of three party games.  I'm not typically a party game kind of guy, but Fuzion Frenzy made it awesome.  With over forty different mini games, we would be busy for hours.  What better way to waste a nice day than to sit in a dark basement crushing giant bugs with a hammer?  My favorite mini game had to be the button combo ones because honestly, I'm just awesome at them.  Fuzion Frenzy 2 came out a little while after the Xbox 360 was released and it was such a disappointment.  New features, new game modes, new mini games, were all crappy, especially that annoying announcer.  I ranked them above.

Oh No He Didn't

**Take heed, this post was written during a time that I was extremely angry, so there are some naughty words and stuff.  Read it if you want, but I did warn you and if you’re offended it’s  your own fault.  Real feelings shouldn't be censored. **

Some people are real jerks.  I mean it; they are so balls deep in their asshole ways that having a conversation with them is just as excruciating as being forced to listen to a Justin Bieber song.  I had a not so fun little experience with one of these ass bags yesterday as I tried to get on base to pick up my kids.  I roll up to the gate after waiting in line for like a whole five minutes to show my ID to the rent a cop standing guard.  To my surprise there was a master sergeant checking ID's, which is odd because he fits the "chief" role rather than the "Indian" role and he was doing the job of a peon.

"Afternoon."  I say to him as I hand over my ID card.  No response in return, not yet anyway.  This only foreshadowed things to come and it fine tuned the edges of his douche bagginess which was soon to be revealed.  After staring intently at my ID he asked his question.

"I'm a douche bag, I look like a douche bag, I talk like a douche bag, so I must be a dirty piece of shit douche bag.  Don't you think I'm a douche bag?"

That's not what he really said, but it is most certainly the subliminal message he sent when he asked his real question.

"Why are you wearing A1C stripes?"  How about because I suck at PT like Ashley Simpson sucks at lip singing.  Are you really asking me this question when all you have to do is scan my card into your little hand held computer so it can spill out all the details of my career to you?  Why does it matter anyway?  Just note my arrival and let me move the fuck on.  I'm not a piece of shit airman.  I've worked hard in the time I've spent in the air force and my only downfall has been that fucking PT test.  I hate when people assume that I'm a bad kid because I’m not the greatest at everything I do.  I've received the same punishment as someone who stole money from the air force.  Think about it, this girl frauds the government, is branded a thief, and all that happens is she gets her stripe taken away.  She didn't even get discharged.  Me?  Well I've been a model citizen and my only downfall is running, yet because I can't pass the test, I get tossed into the same bin as the thief and on top of that, get a discharge.  I disliked her a lot, especially when she was eligible to win awards from the people she robbed, while even though I passed my PT test, my low scores weren’t good enough to allow my hard work to be recognized.  What’s really important here?  It really makes a lot of sense if you don't think about it.

"I lost my other stripe."  That was the only answer I could come up with.  Sure, he was probably asking because my ID stated that I was a SrA and it looked as if I put on an old uniform because it was laundry day.  Nope, not in this case, but you're forgiven because you did, at least, have a legit question, even though all you need to do is scan my ID and let me through, jackass.  I mean, in all honesty it’s none of your business.  If I was out of uniform, some of the many people I work with daily would have surely noticed it and brought it to my attention. 

"I lost my other stripe, SERGEANT,” he answered back with slight contempt in his voice.  My eyes gazed from the steering wheel and moved slowly towards the sound of this assholes voice.  He didn't.  He has to be kidding.  I mean I know he has four more stripes than I do, but he wouldn't be that arrogant would he?  Is his ego that hungry that it needs to be spoon fed encouragement by people he doesn't even know?  Is it that important that I know what rank you are even though I can clearly see it on your arm?  What kind of tenacious ass hat needs to flaunt his rank to other people for his own sick gratification?  I'm not even in the same squadron as this dude.  Maybe that's how the security police talk to each other, but I'm medical, and over there we treat each other with respect (I think).  I've been in the military for close to six years now and not once during that entire time, including basic training, did I ever have to end my answer towards someone by uttering their rank.  This isn't the army dude, I'm not your lap dog, I'm not your troop, and I'm certainly not your bitch.

"How about you take it up the ass, faggot."  I wanted to say that so bad.  What would be the point though, I only have a few weeks left with this wretched job and I don't need to get myself into trouble.  So what do I do?  Do I answer him the way he wants me to so his ego can be successfully stroked?  All while my ego and my pride get shattered to pieces because a person who outranks me wants to be an arrogant flaming cock bite? 

"Yes sir, that's correct."  There, I fit a sir in there to show you the respect your rank holds, but don't think for one second that I respect you at all.  If you want respect from someone, I suggest dealing out a little bit of it first.  It’s kind of like that saying, treat people how you want to be treated.  Well if you treat people like shit, they’ll most likely respond in the same manner.  People don't like or respect these types of people and it's because they’re not considerate to others.  I should have just taken his name and tattled to my first shirt about him, but that's just petty.  I'm a 26 year old man with a wife and two kids and I’m even a home owner.  I may not be the most mature person in the world, but I'm still an adult and I demand to be treated like one, regardless of what the rank on my arm says.  So here you go asshole, you got a "sir" out of the deal rather than what you wanted and you'd better take it because that's all you're going to get from me.  I don't know why I let these things get to me, but they do and it's annoying.  I should take this whole incident and file it under the “ annoying as fuck" folder in the filing cabinet within my brain.  This way when I talk to people in the future about my military career and they want to know what the epitome of "anal retentive power hungry, egotistical, wannabe alpha male" is, I'll have a story to share with them.

This Gaming Life Part IV: Moving Forward (A-B)

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I've been working on a blog I plan on titling "My Copasetic Week", but I have video game fever and I feel that it's a good time that I continue my "This Gaming Life" segment. I typically write about the games I play and enjoy and their impact on me, but there are too many games that I've played and not enough time in the world to talk about them.  New games are coming out and I was thinking about testing my review skills (if I have any) and write out a review on a few new things I plan on playing.  So instead of taking the rest of my life to talk about games I've played in the past, I'm going to go down the alphabet and list every game I've played starting with the given letter to get them all out of the way.  I may forget some, or a lot, but I'm bored and I don't really care.  Seriously, if the game wasn't even good enough for me to remember, then it's not good enough for me to write about.  I think I'll go ahead and rate them too. I'll provide a key so you can see how my grading scale works. Do me a favor and try to remember that my ratings are based on my own personal opinion.  Don't get butt hurt if I say Barbie's Horse Adventures sucked ass because I'll hate you forever.  I'll also write a paragraph next to each one to create the illusion that this blog post actually took a lot of effort.  Since I’ve played so many games, this segment will be released in multiple different parts depending on the length.  Enjoy my obsessive compulsive disorder.

 
Key:       F=Favorite          G=Good               M=Meh                               S=Sucked
 
0-10

1 Vs 100  

It’s safe to say that I’m a fan of trivia games, but 1 Vs 100 raised the bar compared to any trivia game I’ve ever played.  It was online and I got to play against millions of people during a live show.  If a player was doing well he/she would have the opportunity to be picked to have their avatar showcased either as the One or as a member of the Mob (100).  I never got selected because I must not be as smart (or lucky) as I thought, but the game was a complete blast because I got to play along with the contenders anyway.  My grade for it is F.  The game only lasted two seasons though, RIP 1v 100.

A:
 
A Kingdom for Keflings
A World of Keflings  

Using my avatar, I run around as giant among a bunch of tiny people (the Keflings) and I help build their town for them.  The whole purpose is to build everything that you possibly can given the blueprints you’re provided.  Although some features were added or expanded on in the second game, it still didn’t make it thrilling enough to make me want to play it more than once.  However for the times I played through both of them, I had a lot of fun.  My rating for both is G.



 
Aegis Wing
 
No joke, I played this game once and it was for a whopping ten minutes.  I found it rather difficult and boring.  Why play this game when I can own n00bs at Halo?  Taking that into consideration along with the fact that I don’t even remember how this game is played, I give it an M.

 
Age of Empires (1 and 2)
 
 Real time strategy at its best.  Building empires and destroying your neighbor countries is such a blast.  With many different nations to choose from and a few different ways to win, these games can keep me occupied on a very boring weekend.  It’s been years since I’ve played them though so I say it’s time for an old school gaming night on my computer.  I sure do miss taking my priests around and converting all of my enemies and their buildings so that the entire map is dotted red (my team’s color).  I give them both an F.
 

Alan Wake
 
Alan Wake is an awesome anti-hero.  An author who’s plagued with writers block battles the darkness to find his wife who went missing during their vacation at the small town of Bright Falls.  Using a flashlight to dissipate the darkness surrounding his enemies and then spraying them with bullets is a very unique way to fight.  The game is creepy, dark, and riveting, which is just enough to make me fall in love with it.  The story itself is just icing on the cake, so I give this amazing psychological thriller an F and it’s easily one of my favorite games of all time.

 
Amped
Amped 2
Amped 3  
I haven’t really always been a huge fan of the skate around and do tricks to get a high score type of games (i.e. Tony Hawk), but Amped hooked me from the second I played it.  Featuring snowboarding rather than skateboarding, Amped provided a very neat environment that let me do more than just mediocre tricks to rack up a high score.  My favorite part had to be running over the shit talking snowmen.  Actually finding them required a little adventuring through the environments.  The third game almost ruins the series for me, though.  The metamorphosis was for the worst.  The game became a dull cartoon with a storyline which made it so lame that Tony Hawk actually seemed more enjoyable.  Amped 1 and 2 I give an F, Amped 3 I give an S.

 
Assassin's Creed
Assassin's Creed 2
Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood

Assassin’s Creed: Revelations  
 You’ll see me utter this phrase many times in this blog, I love sandbox style games.  Assassin’s Creed places me in the shoes of Desmond Miles, a modern day assassin who is kidnapped by his rivals, the Templars.  Using a special machine dubbed the Animus, the Templars view history through Desmond’s bloodline in search of a missing artifact that has amazing power.  Mixing in a loosely accurate vision of the Third Crusade and ancient Italy, we follow the lives of Altair and Ezio at the times in their lives leading up to and after their encounter with the artifact.  Jumping across rooftops and assassinating the bad guys as discreetly as possible is just one of the many things that make Assassin’s Creed one of my favorite games.  I could go on about this game for pages and pages galore so I’ll leave it at this.  I will say that the games make me want to learn more about the history of the cities and people involved and it’s the first time a video game had that effect on me.  My rating for all four games is F.

 
B:

 
Battlefield 2
Battlefield Bad Company

 

I played Battlefield 2 quite a bit back on the old Xbox and although I don’t really remember the story I did enjoy the fighting.  I was able to fast travel to any ally on the map and take control of their person.  It really opened up a lot of strategy when attacking certain points and it helped make flanking the enemy much easier.  That and knowing that if I died I could just play as someone else made the game pretty simple.  Bad Company is a great game as well; however, I played it during a time where I was using gamefly.  The problem with playing it during that time is that I only cared about getting the achievements for the games as fast as possible so I could get my money’s worth.  Bad Company was my breaking point because I was enjoying the game’s story and action, but I was too hell bent on getting the achievements earlier rather than later.  I sent the game back without finishing it and cancelled my subscription right away.  The game was very fun though and the story was pretty compelling (for me anyway), so I’ll have to pick it up in the future.  I rate both of these games a G.

 
Baluder's Gate
 
It’s unfair for me to even attempt to rate this game.  It was given to me as a gift over ten years ago and I can’t remember it to save my life.  The only reason I put it on this list is because my Uncle was the person who gave it to me and he’d probably ask me why it wasn’t on here.  Sorry Eric, I don’t remember anything about this game.

 
Bejeweled  

Puzzle games are good for when I’m bored and can’t find a game I want to play.  They’re even fun to do when you’re playing them on your palm pilot in history class.  I use to pretend I was taking notes on it but was getting murdered at Bejeweled instead.  Bejeweled is one of the better puzzle games I’ve played and I can’t help but wonder if this game founded the, match these colors to get rid of them, type of puzzle.  I give it a G even though I suck at it.

 
Bioshock
Bioshock 2
 
I’ve never been a huge multiplayer person outside of Gears of War and Halo, so I’m pretty appreciative of games like Bioshock that don’t include multiplayer at all.  Why?  I like it because all efforts are focused on the story.  The stories in games are the reason I even play at all. Beneath the center of the ocean lies a fractured community living in the city of Rapture.  This city was created to allow creatively gifted people who don’t like being constrained by the morals of society a place to live and create freely.  Unfortunately a civil war broke out and ravaged the entire underwater utopia, ironically because of some of the freely created products.  Our character finds himself roaming around the city after surviving a plane crash and being guided down via a submarine located in the conveniently placed lighthouse in the middle of the ocean.  This was the first game that I ever played that allowed me to utilize crazy powers from my left hand such as ice, fire, and bees, while at the same time I shot faces with the gun in my right.  Both games really creeped me out and the stories were truly dark, twisted, and epic, however, the second game had a disgraceful multiplayer added to it.  It wasn’t completely crappy, but at the same time I'd get bored with it after thirty minutes and in the end I felt the single player story suffered quite a bit.  Bioshock 1 gets an F; Bioshock 2 gets a G, only because they added a multiplayer to it.  Here is a nice little quote I enjoyed from the creator of Rapture, Andrew Ryan.

"I am Andrew Ryan, and I'm here to ask you a question.  Is a man not entitled to the sweat of his brow? 'No!' says the man in Washington, 'It belongs to the poor.' 'No!' says the man in the Vatican, 'It belongs to God.' 'No!' says the man in Moscow, 'It belongs to everyone.'  I rejected those answers; instead, I chose something different. I chose the impossible.  I chose... Rapture, a city where the artist would not fear the censor, where the scientist would not be bound by petty morality, where the great would not be constrained by the small!  And with the sweat of your brow, Rapture can become your city as well."

Blazing Angels  
I’m not a huge fan of flying games or World War games, but I do have to give props to Blazing Angels for making a game that didn’t really suck.  I know one reader of this blog would disagree, but that’s okay.  I enjoyed the game despite the fact that it made me dizzy and often nauseous because of the upside down flying while chasing an enemy who likes going in circles.  I only played this game once and that’s honestly all its worth.  The story wasn’t really compelling at all and after playing through the entire game, I was tired of flying all together.  It’s a good game, but not a favorite, I give it a G.

Blitz the league
 
I hate this game.  Thanks to EA games buying the rights to be the only company to make an NFL games, NFL Blitz took a blow and instead Midway put this piece of garbage out.  None of the NFL teams are featured in the game (thanks E.A.), a storyline was added, and the violence on the field was blatantly over the top, and not in the cool way the series is known for.  The game was much better when it was over the top goofy and fast paced.  Don’t buy or play this game, ever, you’ll wish you got your time and money back.  Obviously I give this game an S.

Bloodwake  
Bloodwake is a very unique game.  It’s the only game I’ve ever played that features a gunboat as the main battle technique.  It was very hard though and I was never able to complete the game.  Perhaps the reason I never finished the game is because I played it when I was young and impatient.  I did spend a considerable amount of time playing the multiplayer though because I just drove around in a large body of water shooting down all the other boats in my view.  It’s a great game for some mindless fun, but the difficulty (in my case) could have been debatable.  I give it a G.

Borderlands                
For the longest time, it was hard for me to break away from my gaming roots, first person shooters.  Fortunately I began to explore role playing games (RPG) and it’s a fortunate thing I did because I could have missed out on a game that became such a favorite.  The first thing that intrigued me was that the game featured first person shooter elements with RPG elements.  Borderlands placed me on the desolate planet of Pandora as one of four playable fortune seekers hoping to get inside the legendary unopened vault.  Throughout the duration of the game I got to meet several memorable characters including the claptrap, a comedic robot that kept the dialogue entertaining.  In fact, the entire game is very comical with a side of seriousness (but mostly funny).  Granted the story wasn’t the best I’ve seen in video games, especially in an RPG, but going around and killing everything and gathering all the loot my heart can desire made the game fun.  Also, leveling up my character as well as all my weapon classes and my pet bird (I named him Charlie) has made the game a must play again, and again, and again.  It’s one of my favorite games ever, so that’s the rating it get’s, F.

Bourne Conspiracy, The  
Robert Ludlum is a genius.  He wrote the original Bourne trilogy and they became some of my favorite books ever.  Granted his writing style is rather slow and full of detail, which probably puts a lot of people off, but the stories are great.  The movies they were turned into were great as well; even though the plots went in a different direction than the books that inspired them.  The game itself is based off the movies and it was actually a lot more fun that I thought it would have been.  Third person format shooting and melee combat really made this game unique and true to the movies.  I already knew the ending of the game before I even played it, but strolling through and kicking ass using krav maga really made my day.  The game is extremely scripted and probably only good for a onetime play through, but I do recommend it highly and please, for the love of God, don’t take the driving sequence for granted, it was my favorite sequence in the game.  I rate this game G.

Bulletstorm  
I’m almost certain you’ve never played a game quite like Bulletstorm.  Developed by the Epic owned “People Can Fly”, this over the top shooter writes a new chapter in the FPS saga.  There are many different types of shooters and they all mostly focus on the mission at hand as well as              spraying bullets and grenades in everyone’s face that isn’t an ally.  Well, Bulletstorm has the gamer adding skill to their kills, and even rewarding them points for their creativity.  That’s right, instead of running into a room and dominating it with relentless gunfire, I walk into a room and observe the environment.  Why?  Well if I kick that dude into the cactus I could get quite a few points, or if I use my leash to lasso that guy into the air and then shoot his head off with my flare gun, then I’ll be rewarded handsomely.  I could just kick the guy in the balls and then curb stop his head.  Yeah, this sounds over the top and it’s because it is.  Bulletstorm’s over the top game play accompanied by raunchy dialogue really made me wonder if a group of adolescent rejects made the game, but I digress.  If you’re looking for something new, I recommend trying this game.  I’ve beat it at least three times and I’m still not bored of it yet, I rate it F.  The video I’m posting will contain a lot of foul language and possible spoilers; proceed with caution. 

Burnout Revenge

Burnout is a classic and beautiful racing game.  That's all that really needs to be said. Revenge I found to be pretty difficult, but that was like five years ago when I played it last.  Now that I'm older and wiser, I think I'd be able to go back, beat the game, and then go through it again with the awesome fast cars that I unlocked in my first play through.  Genius!  Perhaps the most fun              I've had with the game was with the wreck mode.  Basically, you drive as fast as you can through a certain traffic scenario and try your best to cause the biggest accident possible.  In order to get all the stars for it you must rack up a certain number of dollars in damage.  So getting creative with auto destruction is disturbingly fun. I give this game a G.

Stay tuned for more in the continuation of Part IV.