Saturday, August 30, 2014

Pax Prime 2014: Day One


So I’m standing in line for the Halo panel here on Day 2. My tablet didn’t charge the way it was supposed to last night, so getting this bad boy posted is going to be pretty iffy! Damn this tablet. If you haven’t already, feel free to check out the pre PAX blog I posted last night. My goal was to blog on the spot, but the way this tablet has been, it looks like I’ll be giving daily reports like I did last year.

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Just as I thought! My tablet didn’t last long, but I need to be grateful this bad boy is even working at all. Yesterday we got up bright and early and treated ourselves to a nice continental breakfast. It’s a pretty nice hotel and they serve some not too terrible food. I went for the biscuits and gravy and nothing else. Usually I would have grabbed something else, but the plates they gave us were scorching hot, I burned my fingers trying to get the delicious gravy to cover my warm biscuits. I mean the freaking plate was hotter than my food, what the hell people? But I digress. It tasted super yummy and my fingers eventually healed, ha! I don’t post pictures of my food, but I blog about it instead, so there.

After breakfast we walked to PAX, whoo! We wanted to get in line to grab some goodie bags that, as we know, are filled with awesome swag. We waited in line for 90 minutes before the doors opened and walked into the theater to retrieve our goodies. I was disappointed because it was full of advertisements, eye drops, and…well that’s pretty much it. They didn’t even come with guidebooks or lanyards. Oh well. I personally would have rather waited in line for the expo hall. The thing we’re quickly learning about PAX Prime is that not all events take place in the same building. The theater we were just in is a couple blocks from the convention center, and there are two other locations that are further away, the main theater being around eight blocks. None of them are too bad when considering walking distance, but this is making me miss the convenience of PAX East and its, “one size fits all,” building. Oh and there seems to be way more people here as well. The city streets are packed with people and the safe drivers are surprisingly patient. Thank goodness!

We went directly to the convention center after this. Well, actually, I forgot to apply deodorant this morning and that is a big no no. I usually don’t forget, but I was so excited to get to the expo that I rushed out the door. So we walked down to the nearest Walgreens so I could re-up. I bought a great smelling B.O. stick, water, and a soda, and we were set. We finally made it into the expo and it was a mad house.  People swarming practically every inch of the floor made it feel a tad overwhelming. I think it’s because this place doesn’t have as much space as Boston’s massive convention center, but regardless, I felt a little overwhelmed at first. We made our way up to the second level and watched as some people played new Nintendo games, namely Captain Toad’s Treasure Tracker and Pokémon. We sat down for a quick moment while I tried fixing my tablet. After that we made our way to the north side of the building where there were more escalators. We saw a table top gaming area and we went in to check it out. My Uncle was impressed with the games they had made out of popular video games. Xcom and The Witcher each had board games that people were playing. I found a plug in and reset my tablet. Boom, the bad boy was fixed, with almost no battery, but hey, at least it’s working!

We went up to the third floor and were greeted by a cool little Halo area. We weren’t allowed to go in, though. We found out later it was because they were holding a professional Halo tournament in there which was able to be viewed live on Twitch. So we went and bought some Halo merch instead. I got two stuffed grunts for my kids and a Halo T-shirt for myself. From there we walked down to the live arcade that they had. It was awesome to see all these old school machines. They had pinball, Centipede, The Simpsons, and many more. I got on and played some old school Ms. Pacman. I really enjoy the controls on an arcade machine, they feel better than modern controller, in my opinion anyway.

It’s around midday at this point and we finally decided to head up to the fourth floor where two of the three expo halls are located. The first area we stepped into actually happened to be a live League of Legends Championship. I never really considered the popularity of E-Sports until that moment. There were thousands of people huddled together to watch these teams face off against each other. On the large televisions they aired interview with players and had live commentary, which I found crazy. I suppose I used to watch Major League gaming back when they had Halo, but this phenomena is still kind of new to me, especially since they’re referring to it as a sport. We began making our rounds through the next hall, which is still part of the area we were just in. This is where the game are!

We walked around a bit, soaking in the views. Square Enix has its own area where they showed off a bunch of new games. I couldn’t tell if they were promoting a new Hitman or not, but they had a banner for it that was hanging right above an arcade style Dead Island game and a new Saint’s Row game called, Saint’s Row: Cat out of Hell. Xfinity has a booth here as well and they were showing off The Crew. I thought this was weird because The Crew has its own booth, but there wasn’t a line to play it over here and so we did. We hopped right into the action and just drove around the streets of Miami. I think this game looks beautiful. It may not be a graphical marvel considering the presence it will have on both next gen and previous gen, but it had vibrant colors that pleased me. The controls feel surprisingly well and it wasn’t complicating to drive around. After a short free roam we got placed into some missions. The first mission had us, the crew I was paired with, chasing down a truck. The goal was to smash into him enough until his health meter hit zero. I accomplished the final blow on this bad guy, you know, because I’m awesome. From there we went to switch to a performance car in the garage. The lady told us we needed it because we were about to face off against each other in a race. The race itself wasn’t too bad, but I did have a harder time controlling the vehicle in this situation. I faired decently well, but still lost. I do plan on buying The Crew. It’s a fun game with a hopeful concept that I’m certain will bring me hours of relaxable entertainment.

We walked around the floor some more after this so we could get a good idea of what we wanted to spend our time doing in the coming days. Tales from the Borderlands has a booth in this same area and I put that on my list, however, I think they’re only showing a video, so it’s not a priority. The Behemoth is here as well and they’re letting people play all of their games, including their new one called, Game 4. This first expo hall had a lot to take in, but we didn’t realize we hadn’t really scratched the surface. The next expo hall is across the sky bridge, but we did get to look at some cool comic booths that were promoting their products in between the show floors. We walked into the second show floor and realized right away where we’d be spending a good deal of our time.

The first thing we see as we walked in was the giant Far Cry 4 booth. I’m not sure if they’re actually letting people play their game there, but they do have cage fighting. People get dressed up in these creepy furry animal costumes and wrestle each other. I’m certain Ubisoft has gone full retard here, but we’ll be checking this booth out more thoroughly later this weekend, so I’ll keep you updated on what’s happening here.

Microsoft has a big booth as well, showcasing three major titles, Sunset Overdrive, Halo Master Chief Collection, and Forza Horizon 2. Right next to the Microsoft booth we see Sony’s booth where they’re showing off The Order: 1866, Bloodborne, Driveclub, and some other smaller titles I’ll be getting a better look at later. We do plan on standing in line for The Order, but my Uncle and I both agree that we’re not very interested in Bloodborne. I know that may sound crazy to some people, but not every popular game suit everyone’s wants, so yeah. We did, however, get a chance to play Drive Club. This game is amazing. The graphics are simply breathtaking, the controls are sleek and smooth, and the entire experience was very gratifying. I’m happy to say that I’ll stop by to play this again if we have time and it will most likely be the first Playstation game I purchase when I can get my hands on the console.

Right next to Sony’s area is a booth for Alien Isolation. I think they’re just showing a video to people, but I’m very intrigued to see what they have. I normally avoid survival horror titles, but since this one takes place within one of my favorite movie franchises, I simply must check it out. The last game I played today was Fenix Rage. It’s a small Indie platformer that is very reminiscent to Super Meat Boy, which I should mention has announced a new game called Super Meat Boy Forever and is available to be played! Fenix Rage has us playing as a hedgehog who navigates his way through an obstacle to reach the end. The difficult part is that he wants to snag a cookie before he get to the end. The levels progressively get more difficult and I found nothing but joy in overcoming them. I WILL be getting Fenix Rage the day it becomes available.

The rest of our time was spent walking around this second show floor where we got a glimpse of everything we wanted to do. Evolve has a massive booth with an equally massive line of eager people waiting to play it. Next to that was the Borderlands Pre Sequel booth where I got to have my photo taken with Handsome Jack, who was pretending to hold a gun to my head. Next to that booth was the Shadow of Mordor and the Evil Within booth. We want to check out all of these except Evil Within and probably Borderlands. It’s not that we’re not interested in these games, well I’m not into Evil Within, but there are plenty of other things we’d like to spend our time doing. Assassin’s Creed has a booth for both of their games, Unity and Rogue, Nintendo has a big section where they’re showing off their new game, Sonic Boom, and the Indie area has so many games we want to check out that I couldn’t try to name them all here if I wanted to. So our weekend looks packed and I haven’t even mentioned the panels we want to attend.

To cap off our day, we ventured to the six floor where the third and final show floor is. There is a ton of stuff going on up here too, but less stuff we’re really interested in. Booths like Rooster Teeth can be found up here as well as some more Indie titles, Payday 2, the Valve store, and a booth for Unreal Engine 4. We did stop by Unreal and were given a tour of the program. I haven’t really had the chance to use Unreal 4, but the stuff they were showing us is really cool and it has me excited to make games of my own! While we were at this booth we got to play a short demo of Infinity Blade 3 on the Ipad. It was pretty fun considering the entire thing was a quick time event. It was very engaging for a touch screen game and it was satisfying to complete the encounter with a massive dragon before being able to collect some sweet loot.

Well, that was our first day of Pax Prime. I do apologize that it has taken me until the end of Day 2 to get this out to you, but fret not. I’m slowly catching up and I have an entire second day of excitement to share with you. I cannot wait! Let’s hope my damn tablet charges tonight! See you tomorrow, gang.

Friday, August 29, 2014

Pre Pax Prime 2014

Okay, this will be attempt number 2! I wrote an entire blog last night about the pre-PAX Prime events and just as I was getting pictures placed into it, boom, my tablet shut off and had major issue turning on again. Long story short, I had to reset the beast back to factory settings before I could use it again. I had it ready to go in the middle of the day, but I have been way too busy to catch up on blogging. Fortunately, Blogger saved a draft of what I wrote yesterday, so I’ll be posting that and then typing up a Day 1 edition for everything we did today. Let me know what you think!

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It has been a long day! We woke up around five this morning, got dressed, made it through the airport unscathed, besides my uncle’s GPS losing us three times, and arrived in Boston…er…Seattle bright and early. Yes, PAX Prime is tomorrow and we, my Uncle and I, are geared up and ready to go.

We got a good chance to view the convention center today making it nice opportunity for us to understand where we need to go. We had our first meal of the day at the Cheesecake Factory which is conveniently located right across the street. We got a little sneak peak at some of the displays they had up, but ultimately we didn’t get to see a whole lot.

The big highlight of our day was getting to ride the Sunset Overdrive bus to the Microsoft visitor’s center, in Redmond Washington, where we got to view and try out over thirty Indie games!! The bus was completely pimped out with Sunset Overdrive’s artistic look. Painted blue all around and completed with a full dead body on the grill, the bus came rolling up to us blaring loud punk music. Once we got on board we were given some Over Charge, the fictional energy drink that causes the outbreak in Sunset Overdrive. We wound up getting two, actually, so I’m drinking one now and saving the other as a collectable. I will say that it doesn’t taste all that great and it’s really no surprise that it turned people into zombies! The bus and the drink are amazing marketing opportunities and we had a great time on the trip there.

We were greeted at Microsoft by Larry Hyrb, or as we know him on Xbox Live, Major Nelson. We went inside and played some pretty cool ID@Xbox games. I was very impressed with the first title we played, Never Alone. The concept of the game is awesome as it follows a young Alaskan Inupiaq girl and the stories that have been passed down through her culture. It’s truly fascinating how this this story is based on the oral tradition of the Inupiaq, and I was impressed when the developers told how us much extensive research they actually did for Never Alone. The entire game’s narrative is told in the Inupiaq language with English subtitles. The art style is simply beautiful as well and I thoroughly enjoyed switching back and forth between the little girl and the white fox that follows her. You can control them both through single player, however, there is a co-op allowing players to share the experience with one person controlling the girl and the other controlling the fox.

We also got to try out a neat little game that has already been released called, Fibbage by Jackbox Games Inc. I remember seeing this game come out just recently and I ignored it because of the silly title and cover art. We actually jumped right into this and it became clear that it’s the party game of the future. You don’t even need a controller to play it! A cell phone with the Xbox Smartglass app (or an Internet location, I’m not entirely sure) should do the trick! It’s a trivia game that will ask you a question, once you and up to seven other player have joined. You hear the question and each player has to input a lie. “Blah blah person had a video game called ___ balls.” You type in the lie, mine was “deez,” as does everyone else. The trick is to get the other players to choose your lie all while you choose the ONLY correct answer. Unfortunately no one fell for “deez balls,” and my Uncle wound up whooping my ass.
We did manage to play a few other games like Knight Squad and Lifeless Planet. We did go on to check out other games that people were playing and I was happy with Roundabout and The Incredible Adventures of Van Helsing. From there we were fed dinner, given tasty cookies, watched Major Nelson give a voice over for something, and shopped at the store. I did buy an Xbox One water bottle and a Microsoft beanie. Shortly after that we found ourselves back on the wacky bus and on our way back to Seattle where we got to see the Space Needle. It’s been a very eventful day, so much so that I’m glossing over the less important aspects of the day so I can go to bed! Let me know if you have any questions or comment, let me know! Oh, and be sure to check out my pictures blog that I will be posting after the event. If you're friends with me on Facebook, I'm sure you've already seen the pictures I've been sharing. See you tomorrow!!






Saturday, July 12, 2014

The Best of Times

 
      They say good friends are hard to come by and that is a saying I believe whole-heartedly. It’s not often you become so close to someone that when you don’t even keep in touch with them as much as you should the two of you are still like family. I have a small handful of people in my life that I consider friends, but there is one person in particular that is like family to me and in honor of his wedding, I’m writing this piece for him. Tyler, I’m sorry I can’t be there for you today on your wedding, but I hope you’d read these words and take them to heart as if I were at your reception giving you a ridiculously long, reminiscing speech that would embarrass the shit out of both of us. So let it begin.

     I will never forget the day that I met Tyler and I’m sure he’ll never forget it either. His father, Rick, helped us moved into our new home and as we were taking the boxes in, there he was, a scrawny kid wearing khaki shorts, light t-shirt, and so many necklaces that he looked like the vanilla version of Flava Fav. What a fag, I thought. I didn’t give off a great impression either, a pimply faced, chunky white kid with a terribly outdated bowl cut that screamed, “Virgin for life.” From the moment we said, “hello,” we didn’t like each other one bit, and yet that didn’t stop our parents from forcing us to hangout. I couldn’t stand being around this kid that was always telling me how he was going to school me at this or that and making fun of my friend Stephen for being fat. But little did we know that we had a lot more in common than our adolescent appearances gave off and our disdain for each other began to wear off shortly after a slumber party for his birthday. Before we knew it we were both making fun of Stephen’s bitch tits and arguing over who loved orange juice more and so spawned a friendship that I’m sure made our parents regret introducing us in the first place.
     We were freaking idiots and even though we were becoming friends, we still had our bouts of competitiveness between each other. You’re a Chargers fan for whatever stupid reason and I’m Broncos fan because I love the heartache of watching my team get sodomized in the Super Bowl. We were so competitive that we argued over the dumbest crap. I remember the long conversation we had about who loved orange juice more. We seriously sat on the phone for forty minutes saying stupid crap like, “I make two cans of orange juice a day and drink all of it!” It wasn’t until our adolescent idiocy joined forces that history was being made. I’m only going to share the bad stuff though, because no one cares about our long nights of playing chest (that’s what we called Chess), while we tried to drink an entire case of soda. They also probably won’t laugh about the time your brother spilled Koolaid on our couch (I think it was Tim anyway), and we nonchalantly flipped the cushion over so my parents wouldn’t see it. Another boring story is the time we wanted to make popcorn at like 1 AM but didn’t want to wake my parents, so we brought the microwave into my room and covered it with pillows to keep it quiet. I'm surprised we didn’t burn the damn house down. The real crazy stuff didn’t start happening until we moved away from base housing. I’m about to share some stories that our folks may not know about, but who cares, it’s not like they can ground us for it now.
     High School was where it was at, my friend. Whether it was teasing Jared about his penny pinching lifestyle, (man I’ll cut you) or trying to figure out a nickname for…well I honestly can’t remember his name because we wound up calling him either Hockey or Butthead. For those of you reading this, we didn’t call him that because he acted like a butthead, but because he was one of the ugliest freaking people we had ever met. The dude was pretty crazy though, especially when it came to hockey and Mountain Dew. I once saw this kid hump a soda machine as a way to express his love for the beverage. I remember walking through the giant hall of that school with you when you would yell out crazy things like, “poopy dildo,” or “man she has big tits,” when Amber came walking by. No shame, and I loved it! I still do. But do you remember that time we walked past that senior who was wearing baggy pants so large that Chris Farley could’ve fit into one pant leg with room left over? I can’t remember the exact phrase you uttered when he walked by, but it sounded something like, “Nice pants, faggot.” Ha! That nut job wound up cornering you behind the bleachers in the gym. I would've punched him for you, but....
     Speaking of gym, I blame that place for turning us into thieves. We’d go lift some weights before walking into the teacher’s office where he was selling candy, soda, and cookies. Now that I think about it, why the hell was our gym teacher selling us that crap? It contradicts everything that section of the school stood for. Anyway, we would stand in line with the rest of the fatties thumbing the loose change we had. It was seldom that we had enough money for even the cheapest item, but since that bald bastard just had us toss the money in a bucket without checking if we had enough, we would toss in the four pennies we had and walk out with a cold soda and a package of cookies. Our thieving didn’t stop there either. We would come up with elaborate schemes to steal from that crappy gas station over by my house. They use to keep packs of cigarettes and cigars at the front counter and we figured one of us could distract the cashier by asking them about the movies they had for rent.
     “Excuse me, do you have Jerry Maguire?”
     I think we actually did pull off our one and only heist with a scheme better suited for the situation. Dump a bunch of change on the counter and snag our tobacco while the cashier counted it. I’m sure it wasn’t suspicious of me to be wearing a sweater in July as I slipped a tiny cigar up my sleeve, but whatever! Tyler, you’ll have to refresh my memory here a little bit, but I remember leaving the gas station and you had me walk out a head of you. So I did. This gas station was so trusting of its patrons that it actually left stacks of 12 pack sodas sitting outside. My memory is telling me that as I was making haste away from the gas station you snagged a 12 pack and went hauling ass past me, which of course caused me to run as well. You’ll have to tell me if that really happened or if it’s a figment of my imagination that wanted to make that super stealthy heist that much cooler. We never stole again, well, at least I didn’t. We’ve lived apart so long that I’m not sure if you ever did anything illegal again after that.
     Tyler introduced me to a lot of things that my goody good life wasn’t used to. Porn, for example, was something I thought only existed in those Victoria’s Secret magazines my mom had lying around the house. Women in underwear? Yes please. But the Internet was just becoming a bigger thing, (wow are we getting old enough to say, “back in the day?”) and good old Tyler had an AOL log in and password. Jjay dot com was our JAM, and the funny thing is that I never understood the name of it until I just now typed it. I’m not sure how much later the Hun became a thing, but yeah. Our clever little way of hiding what we were doing was to go to a bunch of clean websites in order to push the naughty ones down the list. I think we deleted the cookies as well, but I’m not sure we did it right because your dad busted us. I’ll never forget the phone call where I foolishly tried lying to a man who most likely coined the phrase, “you can’t bullshit a bullshitter.”
     “So, Cody, what websites did you go to?”
     “Um, food.com and sports.com.” My face must have looked so stupid as I said that. The rest of the night was pretty bad because my parents made me tell my brother and sister what we were in trouble for. Looking at naked women on the Internet, a thing that the Internet would later be most popular for. If I had the ability of quick thinking back then I would have just told your dad that we were studying the female anatomy for a school project. He still wouldn’t have believed the lie, but I like to think he’d get a good laugh from it. And my dad had a sense of humor as well when he said to me, “well, at least it was women you were looking at.”
     You remember the time when we took my parents blue car out for a spin in the middle of the day? You had a learners permit, our cat, Soxy, had escaped, and we were home alone and bored as hell. So we took a spin in a vehicle that had a stick shift, something we didn’t know how to operate. So it was no surprise when you momentarily lost control and went driving on to restricted land. It was a move so innocent, to us at least, that caused the chick across the street to call the cops. So yeah, there we were back at my place studying the female anatomy when a cop came to my house. You sheepishly told him that you had a license but left it at home. Where was I? He asked. Not looking at porn, sir, he’s in the shower. So yeah, he goes to talk to the lady that called them while I soak my hair to make your lie look valid. We got lucky that she didn’t press charges and I still think our excuse for driving around was pretty solid. We were two teenage boys searching for the stupid black cat that ran away a month prior, seems legit.
     I remember the first time we took a car out for a spin. It was your dad’s. We pushed that freaking thing down the hill, started it up, and drove around. It ran a lot smoother than a vehicle with a stick shift huh? That was our first time flirting with that kind of behavior, but it was far from our last. We would then steal my dad’s Camaro when you stayed the night at my house and on and on. The most epic, though, was the night I was crashing at your house. We took your dad’s car for a spin, drove all the way out to my house where, like a freaking ninja, I snagged the keys to my mom’s van and took it out for a spin. We then met up with Nathan who also managed to sneak out and snag his parent’s car. We were an awesome, under aged convoy cruising the empty downtown streets of Rapid City where an unnamed person broke rank because he thought he saw a prostitute. I will say that it was not Tyler, but I’m going to go ahead and blame Nathan…
     So much adrenaline was pumping through my system that night and it was one to remember. But like so many of the crazy things we did, one of us always got caught. Okay, I always seemed to get caught. The funny thing about this next story is that a certain person from your household had once accused me of being a bad influence on you after TJ spoiled our epic plans one evening at your house. Little did she know, teh he he.
     So I was supposed to meet up with my lady, you know, because all ninth grade kids needed to be punctual when stealing their parent’s car to go meet up with their smoking hot eight-grade girlfriend. Younger girls, I was a stud! After picking her up I was supposed to go get Tyler, but because I had left in such a rush I wasn’t as careful as I usually was. If my mom reads this I fear I may get smacked again, but Tyler only gets married twice and I feel that it’s finally an appropriate time to share it.
     Usually I would roll that beast down the hill before starting it, but time was of the essence. I locked my bedroom door, jumped out the window, and started the Camaro up right there in the driveway. Not once did I think, hey, it’s summer time and my parents had the windows open in their room. I also didn’t think that my mom would be a tad paranoid with my dad being out of town when she heard Kyle and Paige (my siblings), who just so happened to be crashing in my mom’s room, telling her that someone just took the car. She tried to come get me, but low and behold my bedroom was locked and I was NOT answering it. Being the smart woman my mom is, she pieced the two together and piled those tattle tails I call siblings into the van to come find me.
     That also happened to be around the time I decided to come back near the house to make sure everything was copacetic. My girlfriend sat in the passenger’s seat when I rolled up to the stop sign at the bottom of the hill where our house sat. I watched in horror as the van was backing out. I tried backing up myself, but the Camaro was a firm believer in justice and wouldn’t let me. The gear was jammed so I pulled into the driveway of the house right in front of me. I thought it was pretty witty at the time. How the hell would my mom know? Oh, because she’s not an idiot, that’s how. Still, I was at least paranoid enough to tell my ditzy girlfriend to hide in the back. Sure enough the van stopped right where we were and mom opened up the door and, in an extremely harsh whisper, told me to get my ass home. Remarkably she didn’t think to check the back seat, but still, I’m pretty sure my girlfriend saw my mom smack the shit out of me when I walked into the garage. She had to walk a mile and a half home in her bare feet. I didn’t feel bad though; the moron should’ve worn her shoes. Now I know that story was about me but I remember being pissed off that we couldn’t hangout that night. You had left the next morning to go see your mom for the summer.
     I could literally write a book about all the good and bad times I had with you, buddy. It just wouldn’t be right to leave out classic gems like swiping beer from my fridge, chugging them outside, and chucking the bottles into my neighbor’s yard, having entire conversations in Pig Latin, and our insanely demented murder plots while we worked at the Royal Fork.
     “Linda, come quick!”
     People just won’t laugh as hard as you and I would when we think back at how pissed off our dad’s were when they caught us at the arcade playing a game when we were supposed to be at the Royal Fork waiting for them to pick us up. They kicked us in the ass and when we turned to see who it was, we just turned back to the game. Hell, we were already in the thick of it. And people won’t understand 80% of our stupid one liners that we took from movies that I PROMISE no one would guess.”
     “Remember me!”
     “Your dad was a brave man, you should be proud of him.” 
     “I am.”
     People won’t get half of the crazy insides jokes anyway. There’s only one person on this planet that would laugh if all I said to him was, “peanut jar,” or, “Your bow tie’s on cwooked.” To everyone else, “Game seven” means something completely different, and “Ranch Dressing Runaway” is a story I’ll NEVER tell again. But with all this reminiscing and joking aside, I can honestly sit here and say that you’re the best friend I’ve ever had. When we moved to Cheyenne we were forced to live separate lives, but that never stopped you from handing down life experiences to me after you joined the military. You’ve given me very powerful words of wisdom in the most difficult times of my life, including my current affair that is largely the reason I cannot watch you get married today. We both have kids of our own now and it seems like we have nothing left to do but be the men the people in our lives need us to be. I’ve never had the pleasure to meet Sarah, but I know she must be a very special person if you opened your heart to her. Regardless of where life takes you, and regardless of how much maturing we’ll still endure, I won’t ever forget how good of a friend you have been to me and I love you like a brother. I wish you and Sarah the best and I certainly hope we can get together soon.

PS: For old times sake, I’ll raise a glass at some point tomorrow and give out one last hearty, “Teh he he,” just for you buddy.

Monday, June 16, 2014

Rough Times and New Beginnings

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           Divorce is one of the hardest things I think anyone ever has to deal with. I’m sure there are worse things in this world such as the loss of a loved one, being stranded on an island, or being forced to watch every season of Jersey Shore, but those things don’t make it so divorce is any easier. I don’t care if the divorce needs to happen, it’s still hard. Add the fact that I suffer from adjustment disorder and things get crazy. I truly have a hard time adapting to change and here I am seven months later finally sitting down to write about it. When my ex wife approached me about divorce, I was crushed. I still am. I didn’t want to do anything with my life. I just wanted to drink rum and bury myself in a video game for days so I didn’t have to deal with it. I wanted to feel numb so bad, I still do. I just wish sometimes that I didn’t love her or care about her, but I’d be lying to myself if I told you I didn’t.
            Divorce is the death of a marriage, a seven-year tenure in my case. For the past 8 years I’ve known this woman and together we have two beautiful children. Losing her just sucks. I know a lot of people tell me I’ll be better off and that everything happens for a reason, but I’m just tired of it. I’ve buried myself these past seven months beneath my self-hatred and depression and when I go around people I put on my happy face. My personal friendships have suffered, my finances have suffered (and my lawyer is fucking rich), and my well being has suffered.  Hell, because I’m sure no one noticed, I haven’t blogged ONCE this year. Sure I have three posts up, but those were stories I had to write for school. I’m talking about the times where I would sit myself down and actually write because I wanted to. It’s been since November of last year…wow.
            Don’t get me wrong, I’ve sat down and tried to write, but as usual I hated everything I say. I feel like I’m nearing the end of my depression phase, but that shouldn’t stop me from picking myself up and moving on. I need to break free of this lonely monotony I’m trapped in. I need to get out and join a book club, take up guitar lessons, or anything. Fortunately I started a web-comic with a good friend of mine and that has gotten me back in the mood to write. It’s something I need. But still, I heard someone say recently that the only thing worse than hitting rock bottom is staying at rock bottom. That’s what I’ve been doing and it’s time I put my big boy pants on and take that step forward. There is so much I want to do with my life and a lot of it involves me being a writer. I’m nearing the end of my bachelor’s degree and I desperately want to make something of myself. I want to design video games and write stories for them. I KNOW I can do this for a living and I’ll be damned if I don’t.
            So maybe everything does happen for a reason. What the reasons are for my divorce, I have no clue. Maybe it’s because I’m supposed to marry Felicia Day in the future (OMG please), but who knows? I control my future and I plan on doing that by taking the reigns on my life. No more moping around like a defeated Denver Broncos team, no more acting like a puppy that is kicked on the daily, and no more pity parties for myself. I want to apologize to anyone who may have frequented my blog consistently only to see that I haven’t been posting anything. Now you know why and I do plan on doing my best to dig myself out from underneath the pile of garbage I’ve been hiding under. If you’re interested, please check out our Dead Ned comic over at lifewithsuperheroes.com, I think you’ll find it a damn good read. My buddy Zac is a very talented artist and, if you’d please pardon my arrogance, I’m a pretty awesome writer. Ha, but seriously. I’m climbing my way back and I hope to see your smiling faces popping over here to see what’s up with me.

Friday, March 14, 2014

Desolation

EXT. OCEAN - NIGHT

NATHAN SPRIGGS, 47 year gray hair and stubble, stands on the deck of a fishing boat smoking a cigarette and drinking whiskey from the bottle.

He gazes out to sea, lost in his thoughts. The boat all of a sudden stops moving, tossing Nathan onto the deck. Creaking metal and screams from within the boat throw Nathan into a panic. The ship tips forward like the Titanic and begins to sink.

Nathan bolts to the nearest raft and cuts it loose. Without hesitation he jumps off the ship into the raft. He uses the oars to put distance between him and the wreckage.

He stares as the ship sinks beneath the surface, panting from his near brush with death.

NATHAN
What the hell happened?

He squints his eyes to get a better view of what the boat ran into, nothing but open sea. He shivers as he searches the raft for supplies. In a floor compartment he finds canned food, bottled water, a flare gun, and blankets.

Nathan grabs a blanket, wraps it around himself. Bubbles surface where the ship sank. A tear rolls down his cheek.

NATHAN (CONT’D)
Father have mercy on you, mates. Had I not a calling for a smoke I mighta been swimming with you now.

Nathan lies down in the raft and tries to fall asleep.

EXT. RAFT - DAY

Loud bang on the side of the raft, Nathan wakes up. He sits upright and peers over the edge. Nothing. He looks around the open ocean.

NATHAN
Shit.

He goes to the floor compartment and sifts through it again.

NATHAN (CONT’D)
Gotta be a compass in here. Or at least some damn whiskey.

He comes up empty handed.

NATHAN (CONT’D)
Curse the man! Who forgets a compass on a life raft?

Nathan stands up to the edge of the raft and pees into the water. He stares into the ocean as he does so and sees a large mass swim beneath him. Startled, he jumps back.

NATHAN (CONT’D)
Just a shark, mate.

Hesitatingly, he steps towards the edge again and peers over the side. Moments pass and nothing is seen.

EXT. RAFT - LATER

Nathan is using the oars to row the raft. Out of breath, he brings the oars into the raft and sits for a moment.

He reaches into the chest pocket of his shirt and removes a photograph. Nathan looks much younger in the picture, natural brown hair, clean shave, as his arms rest around a blonde woman with a wide smile, and a young boy.

He fumbles around in his pocket and removes a pack of smokes.

NATHAN
Ah, a habit I don’t have to live without just yet. Thank You.

He smiles as he lights the smoke and stares back at the picture. He rubs his finger across it.

NATHAN (CONT’D)
I'm so sorry.

His eyes water up.

NATHAN (CONT’D)
God I’d give anything to see you guys again. My wife, my son. I’m stuck in the middle of the ocean with no real hope of ever seeing land again and all I can think about is how dumb it was to choose the bottle over you. Please, wherever you are, know that I love you and forgive me for...

A scratching noise pierces the bottom of the raft, starting from the back and slowly working it’s way to the front. Nathan stares down, his eyes, terrified, following the sound.

The scratching stops once it reaches the front of the raft. Nathan sits petrified. He peers over the edge of the raft and sees nothing in the water.

NATHAN (CONT’D)
Relax, Nathan. It was probably a fish. Or a shark.

Nathan puts the picture away, picks up the oars, and rows.

EXT. RAFT - NIGHT

Nathan finishes eating canned food and tosses it into the water. He stares at the floating can for a moment and turns away to grab some water.

He rubs his temples and looks back at the floating can.

NATHAN
I need a drink.

A loud noise emerges from beneath his raft. It’s a moaning, gargled sound so loud that Nathan sits frozen. The moaning reaches the surface just as the can is sucked beneath the surface . A loud splash on the other side of the boat sends drops of water on top of Nathan.

He spins to see rippling water. The moaning dissipates.

With trembling hands, Nathan grabs the oars, places them in the water, and rows as fast as he can.

NATHAN (CONT’D)
Twenty years on the sea and I’ve never heard that kind of sound. Perhaps it was a dying whale.

He feverishly rows for a moment.

NATHAN (CONT’D)
But the can and the splash.

He rows with intensifying speed. His breath grows heavier with each pull of the oars. The moaning begins again from behind the raft. Nathan looks over his shoulder.

He looks to the front and rows as fast as he can.

NATHAN (CONT’D)
Complete coincidence. A dolphin jumping out of the water caused a splash and...

The moaning reaches the surface with ear piercing intensity. The sound of something swimming on the surface quickly approaches the raft.

NATHAN (CONT’D)
I’m fine. Just keep rowing.

Nathan’s voice trembles when he speaks. The moaning is so loud that he can no longer hear himself. As it nears the raft the moaning turns into a high pitched scream, a scream a woman might make if she was being brutally murdered.

The oar in Nathan’s left hand is sucked into the water. With a moment of dread, Nathan gasps. He brings the other oar inside as fast as he can.

His breathing intensifies as a loud scratching noise moves along the bottom of the raft. A small hole is punctured in the bottom and water slowly begins to trickle in.

Nathan rushes to the storage and searches through it. He comes back with the flare gun and a small cup. He places the cup over the hole in hopes of stopping the water. It fails.

NATHAN (CONT’D)
God please help me, please.

A splash of water from the side of the raft. The screeching abruptly stops. Nathan slowly turns his head towards it.

Sticking straight out of the water is a thick, slimy tentacle. A moment later and another splash from behind the boat. Another splash, and another.

NATHAN (CONT’D)
What the fu...

A tentacle flops towards the raft just as Nathan ducks out of the way. Other tentacles begin swinging in his direction with hopes of knocking him overboard.

The moaning starts up again with monstrous horror. Nathan fumbles with the flare gun before getting it loaded. He pops his head up just enough and fires the flare at one of the swinging tentacles.

The flare strikes its target. The tentacles all retreat into the water and the gargled moaning turns into a whine and retreats. With his head down he tries to regain composure.

He checks his pants and realizes he wet himself.

NATHAN (CONT’D)
If you want me, just take me!

Nathan lies his head down and slowly falls asleep.

EXT. RAFT - DAY

Nathan is lying down in the raft looking at the picture of him and his family.

NATHAN
Please God, help me get through this.

He rubs his finger across the picture and puts it away. He sits up in the raft and reaches for some water. Off in the distance he sees a ship approaching.

NATHAN (CONT’D)
Hey! Over here!

Nathan stands up and waves his hands back and forth over his head. The ship grows closer and closer. He stops waving his hands a reaches for the flare gun. He fires in the air towards the ship.

EXT. RAFT - LATER

NATHAN
Hey!

Nathan’s voice is growing hoarse. The ship is within distance now where they can see Nathan’s raft. A horn on the ship blows in acknowledgment of Nathan’s cries.

NATHAN (CONT’D)
Oh thank you, God! Thank you.

The loud moaning begins and quickly approaches the surface.

NATHAN (CONT’D)
No, no , no!

Just as the words exit his mouth, the raft is violently pushed off of the surface, into the air, sending all the supplies and Nathan over board.

Nathan fights to reach the surface after he lands. Tentacles pop out of the water and smash the overturned raft. The ship sounds the horn in the distance as Nathan scrambles to reach the broken raft.

The tentacles retread into the water. Moments later the ship is stopped dead in its tracks. Nathan watches as the large tentacles spring out of the water and wrap themselves around the front of the ship and drag it down beneath the surface.

NATHAN (CONT’D)
No!

Nathan stares petrified as his rescue slips away. The moaning begins again.

Saturday, February 22, 2014

Hash


     My small one bedroom apartment smelled like dirty gym clothes that have been sitting in a locker room for weeks. The sink in the kitchen was overflowing with dirty dishes and the trash was so full that its contents had spilled over the edge. I sat on the couch watching my best friend, Nathan, play a zombie video game while I nursed my fifth glass of rum and coke. I could ask him to clean the place up since he’s unemployed and has been living here for over a year, but I doubt he’d do it.
     “I really think this shit could happen bro.” Nathan startled me for a second because we had been sitting in silence for so long. The only sound has been the gargled and mushy sounds of the flesh hungry zombies and the shotgun Nathan was using to put them down.
     “What?” I asked.
     “Zombies. It could totally happen. It starts out in a hospital. Some moron is going to eat year old meatloaf injected with rabies or some weird shit and wind up at the doctor to figure out what fucked him up. Next thing you know, everyone’s dead!” Nathan cried. I stared blankly at him before swallowing what was left in my glass.
     “Did you hear me?” Asked Nathan.
     “I did.” I replied. “I’m ignoring you because you’re a bit of an alarmist.”
     “Screw you. There’s nothing wrong with having a bomb shelter in the woods just in case something bad happens.”
     “I should go buy a tank, then,” I said.
     “Tanks aren’t going to be that effective against zombies anyway. Buy a crossbow or a really sharp sword.
     “I’ll get right on that,” I said. I got up and headed into the kitchen for another glass of rum. The empty freezer put a pit in my stomach.
     “Where’s the rum?” I asked.
     “You drank it all, Captain,” replied Nathan. I slammed the freezer shut and walked over to the window and pulled the curtains open, flooding the room with light.
     “Sweet Jesus, what time is?” I asked.
     “Day time I’m taking it,” said Nathan as he squinted to see the television better.
     “What day?” I asked.
     “Tuesday, what’s with the twenty questions?”
     “Nothing, I’m just realizing we haven’t left the apartment in almost a week!” I stared down at the crowded street where dozens of people were lazily strolling around. Most people were in the middle of the road while others grouped up on the sidewalks. I didn’t pay much attention to it and closed the curtain.
     “You said all you wanted to do was smoke weed and get drunk since you got fired.” Nathan put the controller down and fiddled with a plastic bag on the coffee table. “And we’re out of pot too. We better stock up before withdrawal kicks in.”
     “I thought weed wasn’t addictive,” I said jokingly.      “Fucking comedian, let’s go before I lose my nerve.”
     “One second, I need to grab my crossbow.” Nathan smirked at me as he held the door open. We stepped out into the musky hallway.
     “This place is such a dump, you can actually see the dust particles floating in the light shining through the window at the end of the hall,” said Nathan.
     “Have you seen the apartment?” I asked.
     “Yeah, so?”
     “Hypocrisy thy name is,” I said.
     “Don’t get all philosophical on me, bitch.”
     “Philosophical? I was calling you a hypocrite.” We reached the lobby floor and headed towards the entrance. Large furniture blocked the door and massive boards were tightly secured to the windows.
     “What the hell is going on?” Nathan asked as we approached the blockade.
     “I don’t know.”
     “Quiet!” said a harsh whisper to our left. Nathan and I looked over to see Sarah, our barely legal neighbor, cowering in the doorway to the management office. She wore a white tank top and blue jeans that looked dirty and torn up. Her blonde and nappy hair hung over her eyes as she peered in our direction.
     “Sarah, you look, uh, riveting,” I said.
     “Where the hell have you two been? I thought you died,” she said. Nathan and I looked at each other confused.
     “Died? We were cooped up for a week.” I said. Nathan walked to the entrance and peered through a gap between a red couch and a broken bench.
     “You should go grab your crossbow, X.” He said. I walked up next to him and looked through the gap. The same people I saw from my window continued to roam the streets. From this view I could see their snarled, decaying faces as they dragged their dead feet on the pavement. I jumped back in surprise.
     “Is this a joke?” I asked.
     “I wish,” replied Sarah. “Some moron ate a rabies infected hamburger last week and he infected half the hospital.
     “I told you!” Cried Nathan.
     “How does that happen? With all zombie hype you’d think people would know how to kill one without getting bitten,” I said.
     “Xavier, my shelter!” All we need is a car and we could get there in thirty minutes.”
     “All the roads out are blocked, they’ve isolated the entire city as far as I can tell,” Sarah replied.  
     “If we can get to I-20 we can hike from there.” Nathan rushed up the stairs.
     “This is a nightmare, I mean I literally have to be dreaming,” I said. “Do you have access to your car?”
     “Yes, but we can hold up here until we need to leave,” she said. Nathan came running back down the stairs holding his game console and bag full of games. I moved away from the gap as my shirt snagged the broken bench freeing it and collapsing the blockade. All the furniture came down in a loud crash causing the zombies outside to close in on our location.
#
     I sat in the passenger seat of Sarah’s Mustang as we crept through downtown.
     “Who gives a shit?” Yelled Nathan. “They’re already dead!”
     “I’m not scratching this, it’s brand new!” Yelled Sarah.
     “You’re going to get us killed, you should have let me drive,” he said. Sarah gracefully weaved her freshly waxed ride in between groups of zombies as they smacked the windows.     
     “Hey pull over real quick,” said Nathan.
     “What the hell for?” I asked.
     “Dude, I totally didn’t stock the shelter with any pot.”
     “What?”
     “I kept trying, but every time I needed some I just took it from that stash.  I didn’t want it to go stale. Pull over!”
     “You’re an idiot,” I said. “Who cares about that crap, I just want to get to some place safe.” Ignoring my concerns, Nathan opened the door and stepped out. He ran across the road and into a run down apartment complex.
     “Is he crazy?” Sarah asked.
     “He’s normally pretty careful about this kind of stuff except when he wants to get high. I wonder if he has rum.”
     “Christ, you’re both idiots.”
     “Where the hell am I supposed to stop? They keep coming at us.”
     “Let’s just follow him, they won’t mess with your car if we’re not in it, right?”
     “No, we should just leave him.”
     “We can’t, I have no idea where his shelter is,” I said. Sarah sighed and backed her car up towards the complex. Gunshots rang out from the direction Nathan ran in.
     “You’re right, we don’t need that dopey pothead, let’s go!” I yelled. Nathan ran round the corner holding a large backpack. Shortly behind him two men emerged firing guns in his direction.
     “Fucking go!” He yelled as he jumped in the car. Sarah started going forward at the same slow pace she had been. “Faster!”
     “I’m not going to damage my car anymore tha—“ The rear windshield caved in as the gunshots rang closer and closer. Stunned by the sudden threat, Sarah slammed on the gas and bolted forward into a crow of zombies who went flying over the windshield.
     “Dude, what the hell?” I asked him.
     “I figured he was already dead. The door to his apartment was cracked open so I just went in and grabbed the backpack he keeps his product in.”
     “Then what?” I asked.
     “Then he started shooting at me. Apparently he’s not dead after all.” Nathan began rummaging through the bag.
     “No no no! Xavier, it’s not here.” Nathan’s panicked cries didn’t faze me. “Dude, freak out a little please!”
     “Why?”
     “Um, because we have no pot.”
     “I’d rather not get eaten,” I said. “We’ll deal with that issue later.”
     “Well what’s in the bag?”  Asked Sarah. Nathan held the backpack forward revealing dozens of panties. I reached in and pulled out a handful.
     “Was your dealer also a pimp?” I asked.
     “Your hands are probably covered in disease right now,” Nathan replied. We all laughed as Sarah drove towards I-20.
#
     “I can’t believe he didn’t have any pot in his bag,” said Nathan as we began our hike into the woods from I-20. “What kind of sick bastard collects panties?”
     “I don’t know, the same kind of bastard who’s carrying them to his shelter?” Asked Sarah.
“Hey, we don’t know how long we’re going to be stuck in this shelter, maybe you’ll need some fresh…”
     “Gross. Stop it,” said Sarah.
     “Are you sure you know where you’re going?” I asked.
     “Of course, just keep heading north and we’ll run into a small shanty town eventually. My folks live there.”
     “We’re going to your parents house?” Asked Sarah.
     “Um, yeah. Where do you think the shelter is?”
     “Xavier, please tell me I didn’t waste my time coming out here,” said Sarah.
     “The dude is completely paranoid about this kind of stuff, so I’m sure it’s legit.”
     Nathan led the way through the forest for a while longer. I began hearing laughter off in the distance that sounded like a bunch of schoolgirls having a pillow fight.
     “Did you hear that?” I asked.
     “I did,” replied Nathan. Sarah shook her head no.
     “It came from that direction,” I said as I pointed.
     “What the hell are you two talking about?” Asked Sarah. Without answering her, Nathan and I took off in the direction of the laughing. The closer we got, the louder the laughing grew. Only now the laughs turned into moans of pleasure.
     “Dude, it sounds like they’re banging each other,” Nathan said in excitement.
     “Is this the right direction?” Asked Sarah. “I thought you said we should stay north.
     “We have to save the girls first,” exclaimed Nathan.
     “What girls?”
     “The moaning ones,” I said.
     “I don’t hear any—“
     “Shhhh!” The moaning had stopped and was replaced with a louder male voice mumbling something.
     “Dude! What the hell?” Yelled Nathan. We ran into a clearing where an aged log cabin sat in desolation. Nathan and I looked at each other and approached it cautiously.
     “Go inside,” he said.
     “Why don’t you go?” I asked.
     “Dude, those hot babes could be dying for all we know and…”
     “You two are unbelievable. Some dude left nasty porn on his television. I’m actually pretty disturbed you could hear it from all the way over there.” said Sarah. Nathan and I walked over the window she was staring in and saw the smut she was looking at.
     “That was a waste of time,” I said.
     “Maybe we could at least, save the video,” replied Nathan. Sarah and I scoffed and began walking back in the direction we came in. As we neared the edge of the house I caught a glimpse of yard behind the cabin. It was a beautiful field of pot plants. Row after row of fresh cannabis greeted me as I moved closer.
     “Nathan,” I said.
     “What?” he walked over to where I was standing and fell to his knees.
     “That is a lot of pot,” said Sarah.
     “I knew it. There is a God.”
     “Do you know who lives here?” I asked.
     “Who cares bro, let’s just grab this shit and get out of here.” Just at that moment there was a banging at the back door. Ignoring it, Nathan began delicately placing the plants in his backpack along side the panties. The back door kicked open and a drooling zombie walked out.
     “Nathan we have to go!” Sarah yelled. Nathan jumped up and reached into his backpack. Out came a pair of panties that he reluctantly chucked at the zombie.
     “Wow,” said Sarah.
     “I guess you’re stuck with the panties you have now,” I joked as Nathan zipped past us as fast as he could.
#
     “Mom? Dad?” Cried Nathan. “Hello?” We checked the quiet house for any signs of his parents.
     “Maybe they went looking for help,” I said as we walked down into the shelter.
     “Who’s that?” An elderly voice called out from below.
     “Pop, it’s me!” Replied Nathan as he ran to embrace his parents. “I thought you guys left.”
     “Nope, we came down here when we saw what was happening on the news.”
     “Thank God,” Nathan replied. “Hey, this is Xavier and our neighbor, Sarah.”
     “Pleasure to meet you,” said Nathan’s Dad. “Make yourselves at home.” Nathan took that more literally than we did. He plugged his game console into the television and sat down on the couch.
     “They’re should be some rum in the freezer back there, X.” I relaxed a little.
     “Idiots,” said Sarah.
     Nathan shook his head. “Who’s ready to get high?”

Sunday, January 12, 2014

The Ultimatum

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

JOSH, 28, slightly heavy, sits on a recliner, staring at the television, an earpiece on, holding a game controller.

JOSH
Get it! Grab the ATV and meet me around back. I’m arming it now.

INT. GARAGE - CONTINUOUS

SARAH, 26, slim and attractive, sits in her car staring straight ahead. She sighs, steps out, and walks inside.

INT. FOYER - CONTINUOUS

Sarah enters the foyer.

JOSH (O.S.)
Daddy calls you baby Hitler, bitch!

She hangs her head, walking to the living room.

SARAH
Hey, I’m home.

INT. LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS

Josh doesn’t take his eyes off the television.

JOSH
Okay.

Sarah brushes past Josh, turns on the lamp and surveys the scattered clothes, empty soda bottles, and dirty dishes.

SARAH
Decided not to clean today, I see?

Frustrated with his game, Josh doesn’t look at Sarah.

JOSH
What? Go fist yourself!
(to Sarah)

I was busy with school and stuff.

SARAH
You take one online class.

JOSH
Yeah, but I had a lot of homework. I’ll clean up later. I’m trying to win this game while Bryan is on.
(to Bryan)
The other way, idiot!

Sarah cleans up the living room. Josh ignores her.

INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT

Sarah, upset, enters and places the dirty dishes in the sink.

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Josh plays his game.

JOSH
Bryan, if you don’t save me I’ll punch your mom in the throat!

Sarah approaches Josh and sits on his lap. Josh, frustrated, wraps his arms around her and leans to get a better view.

Annoyed, Sarah moves to the couch.

SARAH
I’m not happy.

JOSH
With what?

SARAH
Our marriage.

Josh turns to Sarah for the first time.

JOSH
What’s wrong with our marriage? 

Sarah looks at him like he’s crazy. She starts to cry.

JOSH (CONT’D)
Hey, Bryan, I’ll be right back.
(to Sarah)
What?

SARAH
Josh, it’s been five years. Ever since the military booted you out, you’ve been clueless.

Josh moves onto the couch with Sarah.

SARAH (CONT’D)
Look at  you.

Josh looks down at his dirty sweats.

SARAH (CONT’D)
You’ve put on weight, you stopped shaving, and now that your clothes don’t fit, you dress like a bum.

Josh stands up and flexes.

JOSH
Baby, this is the body of a Greek God.

SARAH
Yeah, a fat, hairy one. All you see are your video games. You’re never even in the mood for sex anymore.

JOSH
What? Why don’t you ask me?

SARAH
I shouldn’t have to! I feel like your roommate.

Sarah stares at Josh.

SARAH (CONT’D)
I’m in school at night and working all day to make a better life for us. All you do is this.

She gestures towards the television.

JOSH
Wow. I’m sorry I’m such a piece of shit, Sarah.

Josh paces back and forth.

JOSH (CONT’D)
What else is wrong with me? Please, tell me how horrible I am.

Sarah shakes her head.

SARAH
I can’t win. You act like you’re a victim. Am I invisible to you? 

Sarah puts her face into her hands.

SARAH (CONT’D)
I think it would be better if I found my own place--

JOSH
Oh, like fucking hell!

Josh storms out, punching the wall on his way.

EXT. DRIVEWAY - NIGHT

Josh lights a cigarette and angrily paces back and forth.

Josh hears giggling and turns. A young COUPLE on the sidewalk walk by, her arms wrapped around his middle while he gently caresses her back.

Josh freezes, staring at the couple, lost in his thoughts. He looks down at his wedding ring and rubs a finger over it.

He tosses his cigarette and starts to march back inside. He stops, looks at the couple again. His eyes soften as he slowly smiles. He continues inside. 

INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT

Sarah is microwaving something to eat, Josh enters.

JOSH
Sarah, I’m-- I’m sorry. I’ve been lazy and selfish.

Sarah takes her food out and gets a beverage from the fridge.

JOSH (CONT’D)
I’ll go upstairs and shave right now. I’ll start exercising again and maybe we can go out on a weekly date. I’ll even cut back on gaming.

He grabs Sarah as she walks by and pulls her close.

JOSH (CONT’D)
I’ll show you the love you deserve.

He leans in to kiss her neck and she pulls way.

SARAH
Stop. You need to do those things for yourself. I feel like you only want to do this because I threatened to leave.

JOSH
I love you. Tell me what to do.

Sarah pulls away from Josh.

SARAH
Josh, you can’t bring back your military career with these games. If you want to fix this, get rid of the Xbox and spend time with me.

JOSH
What?

SARAH
It’s all you do! Look around. It’s made you lazy and selfish.

A stunned Josh turns away from Sarah.

SARAH (CONT’D)
Choose, Josh. Me or your games. I’ll be staying at Ashley’s until you make up your mind.

She walks out of the kitchen.

INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY

Josh packs his console and games into a box. He picks up a game and stares at it. This is hard for him.

He finally puts the game in the box and continues packing.

EXT. PAWN SHOP - DAY

Josh steps out of his car and lights a cigarette, staring at the shop. Bryan, 27, approaches.

BRYAN
Jay, man, what’s up?

JOSH
Hey, Bryan.

BRYAN
What are you doing?

JOSH
Selling my Xbox to appease the wife. Fucking buzz kill.

BRYAN
Is this why you left last night?

JOSH
Yeah. Apparently gaming has turned me into a fat slob who’s fallen out of love with my wife.

BRYAN
Bitches be crazy, bro. Don’t sell your shit because she’s got a stick up her ass.

JOSH
She threatened to leave me.

BRYAN
Ha! You’d have to take care of yourself for once.

Josh looks in his car at the box.

JOSH
You’re right. I don’t take care of myself. She does. I play games to escape, man... and it’s ruining the one good thing I have.

BRYAN
Wow, Dr. Phil, that was gay.

Bryan punches Josh’s arm.

BRYAN (CONT’D)
Dude, you complain how she blows your money. Sounds like she’s being selfish. This is why I never date.

JOSH
I’m sure that’s the reason, Bryan.

Bryan scoffs at the comment.

JOSH (CONT’D)
I’m the one who’s selfish, trust me. Thanks, man.

BRYAN
For what?

JOSH
For helping me open my eyes. She’s the only person who has stuck by me and I’ve taken her for granted. She deserves all the attention she gives to me.

Bryan watches as Josh gets the box and enters the Pawn Shop.

EXT. PAWN SHOP - LATER

Josh walks out holding a small velvet gift box.

EXT. PARK - DAY

Sarah and Josh walk through the park. Sarah has her arms wrapped around his middle while he gently caresses her back.

Josh stops and gets on a one knee.

JOSH
I haven’t been the best husband and I’m sorry. Almost losing you is the biggest mistake I’ve made and I never want that to happen again.

He pulls out the velvet gift box and reveals a diamond ring. Sarah’s hands shoot to her face.

JOSH (CONT’D)
Sarah, will you give me a fresh start and re-marry me?

Sarah smiles, cries, and fans her face with her hands.

SARAH
Of course I will you idiot!

Josh replaces Sarah’s old ring with the new one. The couple embrace and kiss before they continue walking.